concerned abort ds 4 behaviour traits please read....

[NotInTheMood]

He is 4.5 years starts school in sept. He has met all of his milestones although was a late talker even now his speech is not perfect. SENCO not concerned. My main concern is he as major separation anxiety mainly from me it took him over a year to settle at pre-school and he will only settle (but still reluctantly) if he is able to say goodbye over the tv monitor. That is his closure and he will not let me leave otherwise.
Again he hates changes to routine such as he see his gd once a week. Gd picks ds up but if I change the routine and take ds to gd's he will not stay and not amount of bribery works.

Another behaviour he has been in pre-school for nearly 2 years will not eat at all in the setting. So far we have managed to get him to drink (although he does not drink a lot any how).

He will not go to the hair dressers, dentist or have a professional photo done etc. He hates dogs and stickers and will refuse to wear one. He has now started to run off when put into this type of situation. He hates being around lots if people and will blank people he does not know or dislikes. He is not very confident and shy around new people.He is clever and loves numbers and letters. Has just started reading. Was obsessed with jigsaws and could do them over and over again. He now loves bug hunting but becomes obsessed and engrossed.

He is starting to have meltdowns and become aggressive at home hitting out and running off.I have had to chase him i he super market. Its hard to discipline him as he does not respond you cannot negotiate or even bribe him. He is so stubborn and strong willed. At the same time he can be very loving and affectionate. He likes some groups and one to one and his own company.

sorry typing rather late. I just find he is worse as he gets older. He had his graduation party today and because there were lots of people he wanted to go. To his defence e was tired but seems to make a lot of his behaviours worse. He was kicking out and blanking his teachers and struggling to make his way out of the door. he did not want to stay. For all the party food, games and toys he would not stay.

Any one???

What do others think eg family/friends? Have you talked to anyone about it?

There are things in your list that sound a bit more challenging than the average child, but obviously no-one here could (or should) try and give a view of what might be up, if anything. The only thing I could say almost certainly is that these difficulties are not because of your parenting.

Perhaps a trip to GP to discuss your concerns (take a list) and ask for referral to behaviour clinic/paediatrician (whatever relevant for your area).

What do his pre-school say, other than not concerned? Ask them about how he interacts with others when you're not there - the separation anxiety might be the worst of the problems iyswim, and isn't uncommon at this age ime.

It is difficult when you feel you're hte only one who sees problems - on one hand you want reassurance that there's nothing 'wrong' but also want recognition of the difficulties you see and that you're not imagining it.

Thank you for replying and yes exactly. I am finding his behaviour's more challenging especially the not eating and separation anxiety. There must be something that's causing it maybe it is just anxiety being too shy to eat???. The SENCO thinks its about him being in control. He is controlling and yet 80% of the time he is willing and compliant. He enjoys his own company but is very reliant on his brother which again maybe a problem. But he has come on slowly and made some good friends within the setting.

As he is getting older he is getting more independent but also is starting to test me. He hates changes and needs routine and structure. He has already told me that he is not going to eat his lunch at big school ever. And he is refusing to try on his school uniform!!!

Family think he is strong welled and stubborn but can be lovely at the same time.