ASD ds & NT dd

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My ds (ASD) is severely behind his peers. I saw his report yesterday which showed that in some area's he was 3 years behind. His sister is the opposite, in some area's she is 3 years ahead. All my efforts these past 2 years have pretty much gone into my son so dd has done this by herself.

I feel like I have 2 children on either end of the bell curve. Is this common in NT siblings of ASD children? Can anyone relate to this?

Ds1 = immensely bright. He did 9 o levels, 4 as levels and 3 a levels and he never got lower than an A. He got 6 A* at gcse. Now studying English at Exeter and has a first gor his first year.

Ds2 = severe asd. Function at pre school level although he is 15

DD = bright enough.

It isn't unusual I think. Our children are all different and there is only so much we Dan do to change that.

dd2 (NTish) is way ahead (in some respects) of her peers.

dd1 has severe ASD, and we ran a home tutoring programme. since dd1 and dd2 were inseparable at the time, dd2 got 'hothoused' accidentally, and so has had a huge headstart. she is also emotionally more mature than a lot of her friends, but then she has had to be more 'grown up' from an earlier age, as we have to sort out dd1 regularly, and dd2 has had to learn that sometimes there are differentiated rules due to non-comprehension, or difference in skill levels etc. dd2 is only 5, but she already knows that 'that's not fair' doesn't cut it, and that she will probably end up doing a larger share of chores than her older sister due to competence levels etc.

My two are the same. DD has whatever the opposite of ASD is!

I reckon she as been hot-housed by proxy by being around for much of Ds' therapy and valuing the skills he finds hard as she watches us praise his efforts.

Ds1 (10, with AS) is the brains in our house.

Ds2 (8, NT) is a good solid average - like his mum!

Dd (NT) is only three but showing all the signs of being pretty bright and could give ds1 a run for his money in a couple of years time.

I think they are all just individuals with different interests and strengths. For example, ds2 may be average academically, but is really artistic and creative, whereas ds1 is 'a brain' but isn't artistic or musical at all.

Oh blimey yes... Can totally relate.
Ds ( 15 asd) is about 3 years behind.... Emotionally like a 12 year old ( if that).
Dd (9 nt) looks and behaves like a 12 year old...and if nc levels are anything to go by.. Then school seem to think that academically she is more on par with a 12 year old too.
Very difficult sometimes. Everything has just seemed to come so easy for her...and he sees this.( Although ,thank gawd too because I'm not sure I had another ds in me!). Whereas everything at school is such a grind for ds ... Actually even just tolerating the day in school is hard for him.

I know what you mean troutpout, everything has come easily for dd. I also think that dd might be exposed to therapies that she might not have if ds was nt- which she may have benefited from.

Thanks for the replies- i don't feel so alone :) ....just gotta work out the best way of striking the balance between them. Before the children I always said I would treat my children equally....this is going to be harder than I thought!