Early morning waking nightmare

[drnooo]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to persuade my 6yo DS, who we suspect has Aspergers (on lowest rungs of assessment ladder, waiting for pathetic local service to send out questionnaire) from his current ritual of waking everyone up at 5am with some kind of shouted 'problem'.

We feel all alone dealing with him, our NHS area being awful, and have zero family to back us up. It's sort of killing us.

He shares a room with one younger brother, wakes his even littler brother up too (usually in tears), and of course me and DW (also usually in tears). The four people he wakes up are all just getting over a bout of something norovirusy, so rest is at a premium at the mo, as we're all washed out.

I've tried explaining, persuading, incentivizing, punishing... I know, I know... begging, pleading, and this morning I forgot the golden rule - it's (probably) not his fault - and shouted my sleep-deprived, shattered head off.

Please help me be a less rubbish Dad tomorrow morning.

I feel your pain i have a 6 year old early riser too a few days a go i bought him a clock and told him he was not to get up before 7am he cant tell time so put a picture of 7 o clock next to it, first 2 days it didnt work today he was awake a 6 i reminded him to check the wall and he must of fell asleep again and slept until 7.30am i nearly fell over may be a one of though! we still have his brother in our room hes as he when he wakes he talks constantly

I'm afraid I let my DS come down and put the TV or a film on so I can get a bit more sleep. Following bouts of raiding the kitchen for food (any many empty lolly or biscuit wrappers, or just eating the sugar bowl) we have now agreed that if I leave cereal out for him, he won't raid. It's not great parenting I know, but I think it's better than me going off my head with tiredness.

Adressing the problem (stopping him doing it) will take a very long time (sorry) so you mght need some damage limitation until it gets better - ie separating the 2 ds's somehow - could younger ds sleep downstairs for a little while ?
My personal feeling is that unfortunately we have to put up with the havoc that our dc's cause, but that we need to protect their siblings from the worst of it.

I have also had this with my DS(6) and I have done the same as latterlov3r, thankfully my DS can tell the time on a non digital clock so I didn't have that added barrier.

It did take some time for him to stay in his room until 7am consistently (about a month) but it has worked, it wasn't until there was a consequence for getting out of bed and waking me up before that that it finally sunk in though, I had to take away 10 minutes of our play time together each time he had me up at silly o clock in the morning but it has been worth it :)

A clock in the room: brilliant idea, will try it tonight, putting the one usually in our room into his. Could work. (Especially as he's no longer obsessed with setting the radio alarm to blare on at random nighttime moments and waking me and DW up! That's so last year.) So thanks latterlover and M.A.C.

glitch - your sugar bowl story gave me a much needed smile! You're not a bad parent at all, clearly.

And NotOnUrNelly, I totally agree: put up with the worst of the havoc but try to protect us all (including the one in the eye of the storm) from the worst of it. Never easy, but there's no alternative.

Thank you everyone. :)

Over the years I've found it easier to go with the flow and just direct him to acceptable activities rather than deal with meltdowns etc, before I've even woken up properly. I'm just not up to "behavior management 101" at 5 am!

I set out a semi-structured "activity" for him on the dining room table to get on with by himself at silly o'clock. I put the plastic table cloth on and set it up before i go to bed, (even filling the water pot for painting if needed) so he can come down in his jim jams and just get on with it.

I rotate that first hours activity, always making sure it's summat he can do quietly and with minimal supervsion, so he doesn't get bored. Ideas include lego, computer games (mathletics if you wanna be worthy?), reading, telly or DVD etc.

He does a craft that takes between 30 mins & and hour each morning. Followed by feeding his cat at 6. Then some sort of educational activity (for a while it was the Theodorescu programme, at the mo it's the first few optremetrist excericses.

That takes us till 6.30 (when my brain is starting to finally function) Brekkie, dressed etc, etc takes an hour. He reads to me/does homework 7.30- 8. He's then allowed to watch a cartoon, while I have a cup of coffee/feed the dog/sort myself out & we leave for school @ 8.30.

Children's telly comes on at 6 and if he's done his chores/been good etc he gets extra morning telly time. I use the electronic babysitter in the mornings instead of at night like most people

My lad's nearly 8. I'm a night owl & he's an early bird - it is what it is.

Eurgh I feel your pain! Dd1 wakes around 5.30 but thank fully stays in bed as she knows its a rule! Dd2 however is only 2.11 and has complete disregard for rules!!! She is up virtually all night then wakes for good around 4.30 we keep her in our bed as long as poss so we get some sleep. No idea what we are going to do as she gets older!!! Melatonin barely works

I don't know what your accommodation is like, but in the short/medium term I cant imagine why this is continuing, and it certainly cant continue for much longer.

The best immediate solution would be for one parent to sleep in his room with him every night (and no siblings) - on either a weekly, daily or half weekly rota or whatever with the other parent. The second parent and siblings are divided over the remaining room(s).

This way everyone except the on duty parent should get more sleep

I know its not at all a long term solution, but sleep deprivation is awful and I would try any unconventional method to get a break

I can sympathise having had a very early riser in our family! But I just wondered if your ds is having night terrors as you said he woke up shouting as I think the methods might be different if that is the case.

I can sympathise. Thankfully, our early riser usually starts singing and happily chattering. Once he's awake, he's awake, so DH (another early bird, thankfully!) ushers him downstairs, changes him, gives him a piece of toast or something and a drink and vegetates on the sofa while books, cars, shoes, socks etc are scattered across the floor to DS2's satisfaction.

After a long run of early mornings, DH usually goes to sleep at the same time as him - easy enough since they lay on our bed together to get DS2 off to sleep while I do bedtime battle with the rather more feisty DS1 who has more trouble actually getting to sleep.

I feel your pain. My 3 yr old wakes every morning at 5am and instantly dictates and shouts for his breakfast. It wakes the whole house, his sister 5 yr old and brother 6 months. He's been like it since I can remember! It makes me foul. Once he's had his brekkie he then has to get dressed and moans and groans to leave the house. He has no concept of time and openly admits he finds waiting very hard! If you find anything let me know! Keep smiling :) x