just need support please

[kiwibabe]

My beautiful only child is 3 next month and has poor speech development,in the last few weeks hes has started really strange jerking movements on and off and also if he sees another child eating messily he retches. We see a Dr next week but I of course googled it and have come up with autism. We have alot of family problems at the moment and we just can't but will cope with this.Does it sound like autism my child is sociable, plays with other kids, has eye contact etc. And I guess if it is, I just want someone to say its not the end of the world and he will be ok. New to all this forums so not sure of abbreviations etc

Sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment.

No-one on here is going to tell you whether or not your ds has autism, there's no way any of us could possibly know. Honestly, there are many reasons children might be displaying the behaviours you are describing and they are not all as bad as you might think.

You are doing absolutely the right thing going to your doctor to discuss your concerns though and hopefully they will, if necessary, refer you on to someone who can assess him for any potential problems.

As for will he be ok, well it's another tough one that. If he does have a developmental problem then honestly, in all likelihood yes he will be fine and after a period of adjustment, so will you. Things might not be the way you planned and expected them to be, but that doesn't mean they can't be good, but different, iyswim.

Just go to the appointment, armed with a list of your concerns about your ds and be honest with him about why you are there and what you want to get out of the appointment. If you are concerned about the possibility of autism, perhaps you could try visiting the Autistic Society's website and do a bit of reading around the subject.

You are in a tough situation at the moment, worrying about what might be and not knowing is really hard, but your ds is really lucky to have you for his mum, as you are obviously on the ball enough to notice potential problems and proactive enough to do something about it. Having parents who will fight for you is half the battle.

Oh yes, abbreviations, the basic and most common ones on the board are:

ASD - Autistic Spectrum Disorder
AS - Asperger's Syndrome
Paed - Paediatrician
OT - Occupational Therapist
SALT - Speech and Language Therapy or Therapist
SNs - Special Needs
SENs - Special Educational Needs
CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service

There are loads more, but just ask if there's any you get stuck on.

Oh and my post should say National Autistic Society - having a typo day today, sorry.

Thankyou for your prompt reply and support, I know nothing is clear yet but I feel fore armed is forewarned where as my husband says wait and see. I have already arranged SALT and get reviewed next month regardless. I will look up suggested website and yes don't expect anyone to diagnose as you said just need to know its not a terrible journey just the start of a new one, but hard to accept, husband and I spend all day crying at the moment, but will wait and see and if need be will be as pro active as need be to help. Thanks again

And while it isn't the end of the world (since you mentioned that), it does change things. some for the better, some maybe not.

But he's still the same child, this just gives you the opportunity to find out why he does some of the things he may do that puzzle you. I know that with DS2, I have quite a bit more understanding now of some things that will upset him and generally why... so it helps me be more understanding to him and help him cope better IYSWIM.

thanks triggles, it has all just seemed to come out of the blue, but as you say I will hopefully be able to understand better and possibly help him more. I am really making an effort with trying to improve his speech until we get more help and can only wait to see what the Dr says next week. The internet has strengths for getting support like this but negatives as in you jump to conclusions on things that may never happen or be as bad as you think. Thanks again for your reply

You are so right kiwi. There's a fine line between doing adequate research and 'step away from the Google search' isn't there. I am hopeless and do tend to read too much and overwhelm myself at first. Then I have to take a step back and try to get things back into perspective. I am getting better as time goes on though - I think.

Small steps... I have to remind myself constantly. A little bit of better understanding can go a long way! Don't try to take everything in at once.

Is it a GP you are going to see? If so you need to request an assessment with a developmental peadiatrician :)

If when assessed everything turns out ok and its just the speech issues to help with then your mind will be put at rest. If further investigation is needed then you can rest assured that you are on the path to helping your lovely DS.

Do draw a line on how much you google. Try not to go too indepth. Better to start a small diary of your own of any concerns you have. Observe his actions to situations, if he is upset write down why and you might just find the trigger. It helps with toddlers regardless of wether they have autism or not as every child is his/her own little character :)

thanks everyone for replies, we actually see a neurologist next week this was because originally it was the weird arm and head jerking that we were concerned about so they have done an eeg to rule out epilepsy, she said prior to this that she thought it was stereotypies which can happen normally or in autism. I have then researched them and of course reading about autism have now connected his speech delay, he does say words and two or three word sentences but I think alot of it is echoing rather than really speaking, he has also started retching when he sees any child eating so basically at the moment I am freaking out over a diagnosis made only be me!! Silly I know.
In the last couple of weeks these movements have increased into hand jerking, rocking and a grunting noise, if you shout his name he just says yes and will look at you. He did it on and off for almost two hours in the middle of the night and its heartbreaking. I will take all your advice stop googling and try wait for drs opinion, its just so hard. Thanks again for listening.