If your child has Asbergers, when did you know?

[ThisIsMummyPig]

DD1 can be very kind and very caring, she has excellent speech and generally seems quite bright. She is 4 1/2, DD2 is just 2

When we had DD2 she just seemed to stop developing - when she was 2 1/2 she knew all her letters and could count to 10. Now she doesn't know all her letters, but can recite to 100, not really sure what she can actually 'count' to.

She is ver particular about what programmes she will watch. In the last 2 years she has only watched Peppa Pig and for a few months Ben and Holly. Last year she went about 7 weeks without watching a minute of TV. There is absolutely no way she would watch a film.

She plays the same games over and over again. She likes playing with a wooden jigsaw of her sisters but putting the pieces in the wrong place until she has exhausted all the options. She plays this every night, and it takes ages. If she gets an idea into her head it just seems to get stuck there on repeat.

Most of the time she is very kind to her sister, but she will do things like saying 'DD2 is a baddie' over and over again. This upsets DD2, DD1 seems to enjoy it. I have recently got her to stop saying that she will eat DD2 eyes out which seemed to terrify her. My Dad complains that she is really monotonous.

She goes to a school nursery in the mornings. I went in five months ago to say that she wasn't making friends. This morning the called me in as they have put her on an individual learning plan as she has poor social skills. She doesn't seem to speak in group situations (although in January they swore blind she was ok) She does get invited to parties, although that could be that they all came to ours...

She tells me that sometimes nobody speaks to her at nursery, so I am really pleased about the learning plan, as this is making them try and involve her with groups, and will continue until reception. I have dyspraxia (undiagnosed but still) so she also can't do buttons, hold a pen, write her name, ride a bike etc, but I think that is a seperate issue to her just not seeming to be able to make friends.

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give a rounded picture, and not drip feed. So do you think this is/could be Asbergers, should I worry yet, and if so what should I do?

I think you should seek professional help rather than online help as you are clearly worried and with something like aspergers there are so many things to consider. Maybe speak to your HV or Doctor. Don't rely on what the nursery has to say.

That said, a lot of the things you describe sound ok to me.
Good luck

I agree with what the others have said, it's best to speak to a professional. My DS2 has Aspergers, and it was obvious to me from about age 3 but it took a while to convince everyone else! It's really difficult when they are little, as lots of children at that age play the same games repeatedly, like to watch the same DVDs all the time etc. I went to my GP who referred him for assessment and we took it from there really.

I would be asking your GP to refer your DD to a developmental paediatrician.

Nursery staff are generally not trained enough to spot SEN in all ts myriad of forms.

I think we knew fron 6 months that something was not right but it wasn't until she was 2.5 and we sent her to nursery that it became more obvious and we took her to the GP. Aspergers was mentioned straight away and we got a dx at the age of 4.

If you are worried (which it sounds like you are) then go to your gp and push for a referal.

Thank you everyone - I am worried, but DH is not, which makes me wonder if I am being a bit PFB with her. However, DD2 is catching up with her fast, and it's just highlighting DD1 not moving on.

Will go to doctors.

Hi there,

As a Psychologist this doesn't sound a massive cause of concern to me, quite often children will revert to an earlier stage of development. So for example they have shown they know many words but around 2 there seems to be a re lapse in some children almost as protest in a way to their development , where they will just grunt instead of saying words. It really is quite normal oddly :)

As for tv choice please do not worry, every parent on here will say their child would only watch particular shows, my son who is 17 months old will only watch Peppa Pig, Small Potatoes and if I am lucky In The Night Garden (I hate tv but In the night garden is a whole blissful half hour to have a cup of tea as long as the focus is not on boring Pontinpines or Wattingers he will watch it).

In terms of repetative behaviour again this is normal in a young child's development because they will persevere with what we see as a little bit of a pointless task, it is almost committing this experience to memory so they learn eventually that sticking puzzles in wrong places is a bit silly and perhaps another day they will try another wrong piece in the wrong place until eventually they get it. None of us as children or our children are into puzzles and in fact when they are given one out of sheer bordeom they will deliberately stick a sheep in the cow slot, a pig in the hen slot. In fact I was doing a puzzle with my son yesterday, as soon as he got one puzzle right that was it time to rebell and deliberately get it wrong hahaha or it could be seen as him just testing the reaction to not getting it right little does he know I know his game hahahaha nice try son ;)

Nasty things said to siblings yeah this is totally normal unfortuantely, again working out what causes what reactions, similar really to biting but your bright girls clearly are mastering a more complex thing of provoking reaction by using words. I do think it is useful to put your input into this and explain that it is unkind which you are doing clearly.

It all seems bonkers to us as parents, of course we all worry. The Autistic spectrum symptoms tend to demonstrate in children in different ways so it is tricky for any one to make accurate comments on here however I honestly wouldn't worry at this stage because it all sounds very very normal to me. If she was looking at say a newspaper and studying each word slowly and not just looking at pictures and flicking through hmmm maybe something but often it isn't even in this example.

SunnyCarrie

Blog: disabledpositiveparent.blogspot.co.uk/

Your DH as well may be in denial of the situation, many men in these situations often are. It is for your DDs sake as well as yours that you seek further medical opinion as to how and why is she not developing as she should be. Nursery are citing poor social skills, your Dad is saying she is monotonous; these are both red flags and a developmental paed would be interested.

You will kick yourself if you do not act so better to get this ball rolling sooner rather than later.

I totally agree, would not want to put you off seeking advice from a GP but was just trying to alleviate fears because there is nothing worse than getting more and more worried and as someone else said in this thread it really is so tricky to know what to say because when children are young I think it is tricky to distinguish between what is normal development and different behaviour. Sorry if it came across differently just kind of wanted to offer a bit of hope.

As I say it is difficult to be certain one way or another so I would see a GP as this can sort every thing out. However there is also a website that might help, The National Autisim association which goes into depth about Aspergers and Autisim and the symptoms to look out for etc and how to seek an assessment,have a look. There is unlikely to be no stone unturned by these guys as they are the people in the know about autistic spectrum difficulties.

www.autisim.org.uk

I think the problem with something like Aspergers is it is always difficult to pin point the odd behaviours and every Aspergic person will show different symptoms. It is very tricky to pin point in very young children but specialists in this field are amazing at assessing. My husband has a son ,from another marriage,who has Aspergers, he said his child would sit in a corner, not talk and didn't talk for almost the first three years which ended up in his son being sent to Speech therapy classes, he never cried, wouldn't play at all, if given a pile of cars his son would set about lining them up, no car sounds, silently line them up in a line and then go back to lying in a corner. He would watch any tv so I think it is all really personal to the individual but something my husband did say is you automatically know something is really up and you need to go with your feelings although his son didnt get a diagnoses until age 7 I believe. On a positive note his son is an amazing boy, top in his whole school academically and an absolute pleasure to be around, polite and considerate, a total gem that both parents should be proud of.

Hope the above link helps.

There's a disturbing degree of defeatism as per anyone's potential who isn't totally "normal" in the UK. You just don't see it in other cultures to the same degree. A diagnosis DOES NOT mean a life with no prospects or future. The whole UK culture of low expectations does my head in, as so much human potential is wasted as a result. Our functional literacy & numeracy rates are a disgrace.

So what if your daughter does turn out to be Aspie? With some adaptations to the "bog standard" state educational provision, and lots of tlc & support from a loving family she can have as bright a future as anyone else! In order for humans & civilisations to evolve & advance, a variety of brain types was required.

Do go to your GP and ask for a formal referral to a developmental pead. I guess I'm trying to say, don't sit and fret, but don't ignore the red flags either - you wouldn't if she was constantly in physical pain iykwim.

It may just be she needs a little short term help with social interaction - many children need a little extra support at some point in their childhood with something from learning to share as toddlers, to understanding high school physics!

"many children need a little extra support at some point in their childhood with something from learning to share as toddlers, to understanding high school physics!"

yes, that's the way I like to think of it :)

DS2 is just being diagnosed now for Aspergers and he's 11. I always knew,told the professionals umpteen times over the years. Anyway at least now he may get the right help? Sometimes you have to fight.

Dh may be in denial, a lot of parents are?

I agree get your GP to refer you to a specialist.

Just seen you're going to the dr's that's good.

Yes the hope bit was an unfortunate turn of phrase? I don't think it was meant to hurt though?

DS2 is a fabulous child. I totally adore him and have to stop myself over hugging him He's just so cute! But at 11 it can get embarrassing He's very practical, caring, funny, literal! Plus so much more. I wouldn't change him for the world, ASD is part of him, just part of his personality.

Although when I'm woken at 3am because he thinks snakes are all over him then I can get a bit tired but I just cuddle him and he calms down eventually.

Your dd will be ok with the right help and yes this may turn out to be just part of her development, she may progress differently?

She can converse with you which is a lot more than ds2 could do at that age. He would find it hard to tell me what was going on. Now he's fine though.

Will you be writing down everything before you go to the GP?