7yr old son with very difficult behaviour. cant see an end in sight. HELP!!!!!

[Alwaysme123]

I have a 7yr old son who has challenging behaviour since he was walking. it seems lately that it has got much worse.. he saying he wants to hurt himself when he gets told off.. im so worried i dont know what to do. so far i havent been totally honest with myself about how challenging he is at home im scared of what the outcome will be if i tell the doctors psychologists he sees at school, that hes just as naughty at home. They havnt had any definitive outcomes of the tests that they do other than he is below average IQ. he is affecting my 10yr old daughter aswell who keeps saying she doesnt want to live at home anymore, she is at her most sensitive time at the moment and i feel so awful that my sons actions are having such an impact on her. My husband is just reactive to everything that happens and i am struggling to keep my life/marriage/family together.
There is i would not consider putting my child on medication, but i would be so grateful if anyone knew of any supplements or techniques that may help relieve his anxiety... i have read a little about Niacin any ideas?

I've got the grey hair to show for a boy with severely challenging behaviour, Alwaysme, so I shall start with a hug.

Can i ask what outcome you are worried about? It's often much easier for professionals to make a diagnosis if behaviour is consistent across various settings and situations (eg school, home, out visiting or shopping etc) because they are less able to write it off as poor management or parenting skills. It's important that you are completely honest. I also think that you should ask if there is any sibling help available for your DD. (and, when the dust settle, possibly relate for you and your DH)

Basically, be a total nag. You may just be offered something useful, but you'll never get it if you hold back and pretend that everything is just fine.

thank you for the hug xx very much needed xx Im worried that they will decide medication is the only way to go.. im worried all control will be taken away from me... im worried my little boy will be turned into a subject.... im worried its all my fault...

It sounds extremely hard for you all. I don't understand why you are so against medication if it might help your son. Have you explored all other avenues?

There are dietary supplements like Omega 3 and Magnesium and Zinc that apparently can have great results. Have a look at the Tinsley House thread. I'm not doing it personally but know some who have with dramatic impact.

Have a look at PDA.

Do you have any family members who might be considered eccentric at all? You mention your DH, does he ever struggle with other stuff in life?

i dont want my son to take medication at such a young age...
the GP has said tht my DS is perfectly healthy and normal for his age he doesnt show signs of adhd which is what i thought it could be..
the EDPSYCH has done cognitive tests and stated that he is below average IQ.
His typical behaviour is just going off in a huge tantrum when he doesnt have his own way or if somthing is said tht is negative towards him he says he wants to hurt himself... he will run away from the people trying to tell him off.

we have many praise and reward strategies in place to encourage positive behaviour... he has been in an intervention class for his behavour and the behavour school has stated he doesnt have a behaviour problem, its his special needs that is causing him to throw the tantrums.. almost like a 2 yr old would.. but its the wanting to hurt himself bit that is really scaring me.

i think we can all be eccentric.. the way 1 person acts may seem eccentric to another but perfectly normal to themselves....

my daughter is going through puberty so i think thats probably why everything seems soo on top of her at the moment she is fighting for her own identity and trying to fit in with friends at school...

thank you x yes he is already taking omega and zinc plus multivits... we have done a diet diary and gone through it with the school nurse who stated that it was a normal healthy family diet.. i will have a look at the the thread. thank you x

I took niacin for high cholesterol and it caused flushing, a horrible itch all over, and hives. Makes me shudder to think about it.

oh i dont understand then why anyone would want to give niacin to a youngster.... the article i read was very positive, stating quite a remarkable change in behaviour... maybe the article was written by the company trying to sell it??

to hot head paisan... yes he loves school, even tho its tricky for him he his way behind his peers, so far it hasnt affected his relationships with his friends but as he gets older im worried they may tease him.. its somthing the school is also sensitive about,
the relatonship between my husband and me isnt really one where we are able to discuss anything positively.. it usually ends up with me telling him how he should handle things (not good) and it is somthing i know i do and try no to do.

GPs are great but not experts in adhd symptoms
which usually do respond better to mixed treatment than to psychology alone. If your DS does have some ADHD, you may choose not to medicate but it's still useful to have a full picture and know all your options.

Personally, I didn't find medication had much direct effect on ds's behaviour. What it did do was slightly reduce the speed at which he acted on the impulses. This was much better than before, as getting him to focus for just that tiny bit longer, meant I could actually have some effect on him.

It's very, very unlikely anyone will try and take control of your son away from you. The only way to do that is by a court order, and with the enormous cost of special needs foster care, it's almost unheard of for a council to seek one.

Please have a look at the link re PDA, it could help you and your DH get on the same page.

thank you i have read the pda thread and some of it does sound familiar.. just been told today tht ds has got another 4 mnths worth of funding for him to have 1-1 in the class room hooray... ..