is there any point trying to toilet train ds2?

[outnumberedbymen]

Hi! I've recently namechanged, but not a frequent poster anyway...

ds2 (HF ASD) is 3.7. I have had a few attempts getting him interested in going to the toilet. But even if I did get him to sit on it, we never had a wee going in the toilet.

This past weekend I have started again leaving his nappy off when at home. I frequently sat him on the toilet but without any success. Instead every wee went in his pants. The thing that surprises me most is that he doesnt really seem to be aware of it at all. not aware of him doing a wee and not aware of his pants, trousers and socks being soaking wet. (or if he is aware of it, he clearly is not bothered by it). He will also happily be in a completely soiled nappy for hours without mentioning it once.

I had hoped that him starting pre-school last December and lots of - younger and older - children around him using the toilet might get him interested. But nothing has happened.

Sooo, my question of the day is: is there any point trying to get get him toilet trained or is he just not ready? he is such a big refuser aynway, I am just not sure if it is him just resisting the change or if he really is not ready. ds1 (AS) was a nightmare to toilet train too, but easy compared to ds2.

by the looks of things I'll probably have ds3 out of nappies before ds2 as he's already showing interest in the toilet

any suggestions welcome

I'm prob no help at all! Dd is nearly 3 awaiting assessment for hfa. We go through phases of some success on the potty with massive bribes of sweets, stickers, lollipops, trains etc. Then adamant refusal and screaming fits if I try and leave her nappy off.
She goes and hides when she does a poo so I whip her into the toilet and keep her there with her iPad in the hopes that she will go on the toilet instead. Has worked twice! But she wasn't happy with me!!!! We are due to go abroad on hol in a couple of weeks so I've packed a portable potty in the hopes that a relaxed atmosphere and bare bum on the beach may help.

We have a iPhone/pad ap called AvaKid (see me go potty), which you can make into a boy or girl that looks like dc, and it plays the toilet scene- pants down- sit on toilet(not looked at boy one)- wee- wipe - flush -wash hands etc. But the best thing about it was that the Avatar wees and dc can see it weeing. Okay sounds gross, but that was what dd needed to get the message. She watched it continuously in the build up to "pants day" And because it is so structured in easy but detailed steps she followed it. Even down to waving bye bye to the pee pee.
I won't say that it was easy, but I think it certainly helped.

wow what fantastic advice already!!!!

yes ds2 loves cars and bugs too. especially ladybirds...he loves them so much he once took off the wings, legs etc because he wanted to see what's on the inside .

I will have a chat to his pre-school tomorow if they'd be willing change his wet and soiled clothes. as you say, GTAAC, I am expecting to go through lots and lots of pants. pre-school are not the most supportive lot, have been completely ignoring any problems ds2 has, but I will see.

I guess I will have a trip to the shops to buy pants, sweets, cars and bugs Where did you get the plastic bugs from???

great advice about the drinks and salty snacks!

we have one of those kiddyloo seats as ds1 wouldnt use the toilet otherwise when I was training him. re the portably potty - do you actually literally take it 'everywhere' in the beginning?

Thank you so much. Feeling a bit more positive now that it CAN be done, although I am not at all looking forward to it.

frustratedpants: that had me laughing, must have a look at that app now!

outnumbered yep. EVERYWHERE!
I have one of the ones that shuts and seals the ... inside. Very convenient but a little on the expensive-for-a-potty side. But the porta pottys are good with cheap nappy sacks and cheap sanitary towel inside rather than the expensive inserts. (or coveniently position over a drain - lol)

I was just trying to remember how I did it with ds1. it wasnt that long ago really - 2 years if that - and I never had a portable potty. I do remember frantic searches for loos in little supermarkets though!

I have just ordered some little bugs and a bug viewer as rewards and will get some chocolat treats tomorrow. I am determined to get him out of nappies this time!! with ds1 it was very stressful as he was about to start pre-school and they wouldnt take him unless he was fully toilet trained. I had under 1 month and just about did it :)

thank you for some really useful advice!

I think it's worth a try, my HF asd ds was reasonably straightforward to potty train. He went to pre-school in nappies, but gradually started copying the others (it took about six months). He was definitely trained by the time he was four.

ds2 has HFA and was fairly easy to toilet train. a little later than the others, but once done he was very reliable. he is now 11 (omg???) and has been reliable day and night since he was 5. i have to admit the night times took longer, but once he cracked it he never had another accident. i think it helped that when he was 3.9 dd1 was born, and then dd2 when he was 4.9. he was reliable during the day by the time he started school at 4.3 years, and at night by about 4.10 years so did well. his brother on the other hand still has accidents now at 13 years old, and is perfectly NT.