How do you deal with rude/aggresive ADHD child aged 13?

[buttons99]

Anybody got experience and some practical tips on how to handle ADHD child aged 13? but with mental age around 8-9. I am her step mum and have brought her up from aged 4 as she live with us full time. I cannot speak to her without getting a mouthful of attitude and rudeness. I have always done EVERYTHING to support her and her problems but am at the end of ideas in how to improve things.
I have other teenagers so know about hormones, teenage attitude etc but this is so much worse. Even the most simple request is met with mouth, drop dead looks and arms crossed strop and I am VERY tired.

it's all much the same as any parenting really but you have to be clear and very firm and keep a non-confrontational air about you in the process...lol

try saying we are all going to have a shower this morning, tidy our rooms and sort our washing out...I have a list of jobs we need to get done in the house today so the first person to shower, tidy and sort washing will have first pick of jobs list....nobody is doing anything else until we have ALL done these jobs...then we can all choose something we would like to do later (if your friends call, you are not available until later when things are done...you may phone them back then and do not make any plans until then)

no compromise on what needs doing V's what they want....remove priviledges if necessary and be prepared to distract yourself lots from anything they say or do...you say your piece and let them mither or do as asked.

everything cuts both ways and you have to keep making that stick...remove mobiles and money sources...if they leave the house...wait for return and say little...state rules and respect and everyone else has to and you are no different etc ONCE and then carry on...have a nice dinner, expect their presence and decent manners at table, or meal will be removed until they can.

Does DSD have any medication?...maybe need to consider a change/increase or starting some....ADHD kids don't want to be so angry and horrible really but it def gets the better of them and can take over who they really are and make them seem very unreasonable and unreachable....you probably need to seek some help thru GP or specialist....