advice please re dd and cbt.

[Silbury]

dd is 14. Diagnosed aspergers last year. Long and difficult years of school refusal (yes. I'm a multiple namechanger in hiding).

Anyway.....

She got referred to Healthy Minds after a big school/anxiety blip and has had 2 meetings so far.

Problem is DD hates the woman we've seen. As do i and also dh. She is massively patronising and treats dd like a 4 year old.

She keeps on telling us what a wonderful job we are doing and what marvelous parents we are. We are not. We are ordinary and struggling.

She tells DD over and over how brave she is. DD does .

I asked for dome cbt for dd to try and work through some of dds biggest anxieties. She has agreed but it will be her doing it. I don't think she has any idea about autism or aspergers. She admitted as much the first time we met her.

Do. My question, finally, is there any point. DD is not going to engage with her. I don't blame her. She treats her like she is stupid.

Is there any way i could pay gor a private (and better) assessment and/or help?

Also the perennial problem DD is having a really good settled phase at the mo.

But i know it won't last. And then when she is struggling again it will take another 4 months to get a referral.

yes, it should be reasonably straightforward to get private CBT (assuming that is the most appropriate therapy for her), if you go on the BABCP website they have listings of psychologists and psychotherapists www.cbtregisteruk.com/Default.aspx

and you can look for one with a specialism in teens with AS/ASD. And of course suss them out on the phone before committing to shelling out money! advantage of CBT is that it is time limited, so not an endless open ended commitment.

This may be personal prejudice, but I would be inclined to favour a clinical psychologist with an NHS day job doing private work on the side.

How do i even know if it is right.

I think what she needs is to start again at the beginning. What is on offer from camhs or healthy minds is very basic and crap.

Would the NAS be able to suggest anyone?

yes, certainly worth ago approaching NAS. Also any psychologist worth their salt should be able to give you an idea based on your description of her issues and/or meeting your DD as to whether CBT would be appropriate.