Rough Behaviour in the school playground... how to deal with it?

[DungunGirl]

Hello

My son has ASD and he is 7 years old. My husband takes him in to school in the mornings and usually has about 15 mins hanging about time before the school doors open and before he can hand over our other 2 little ones to the childminder.

In that 15 mins, my DS can get up to all sorts and my poor husband finds it hard to control him.

He desperately wants to join in and play with other boys - but he seems to be drawn to boys who are playing rough. And when he gets involved, he gets over stimulated and then it ends up with him going overboard and getting too rough. It ALWAYS ends up with him being the 'bad guy' and my poor husband ends up with all the mums in the playground giving him 'daggers' and unimpressed looks.

Of course they are not to know that DS has autism, because at a glance you wouldn't pick up on it. It isn't until you really know him that you see the behaviours and oddities that come with his condition.

However, my husband is getting more and more embarrased and does not know how to deal with it. He has tried to make DS just sit with him by offering him his iPhone to keep him occupied and this worked for a while. But my DS really wants to join in with the other boys....he just gets too rough.

Also, we shouldn't be discouraging him to join in socially with other boys either! But with a 3 year old and a 1 year in his arms, my DH just cannot manage the behavioural supervision needed to just let this happen and intervene if needs be.

Anyone have any suggestions or anyone who has experience themselves? Would love to hear from you!!

Can you not arrive 15 minutes later so that he doesn't have that time hanging round before school?

I did suggest that to DH, but it seems the parking around the school is bad and he would have to park so far away if he arrived any later....

I was going to suggest the same as indigo but maybe get there at the same time but alter the clock in the car, and leave it as late as possible before getting out.

Still the best solution.

Maybe he can park there then walk for 15 minutes and arrive just in the nick of time?

I too would suggest arriving later. We used to have similar problems and that was my solution - or to make DS stay with me and chat which was difficult to do, so that he would not start the day off on a bad note. It was particularly difficult when DS and DD had to be dropped in different playgrounds and I had to stay with DD until her class went in. My solution then was to make him stay with me much as he hated it!

THanks ladies....I said to DH that you had all said the same and I think the fact I could say that other people who had experience the same thing did this meant he was more prepared to take it on board as well!

I will help him come up with some diversion routes from car to school gate!

I had (and sometimes still) have the same problem.
I also have to park so I can get somewhere near the school.
He has a good run around in my DD school some 20 minutes earlier (seems to help get it out of him).
We sit and chat, play charades, guess who. I have a few educational games on my phone and this is one of the times that he is allowed to play them.

I also did the 'Talkability' SALT course and that helped with discussing social rules re how to join in with playing.