Those of you with children with autism, did your child reach out for things as an infant?

[lovingthecoast]

Hi, I posted a couple of months ago expressing concerns about DC4 as he seemed not to be developing in the same way as my other 3. Well he's now 8mths and one of the very stark differences between him and other babies his age is that he doesn't really reach for things. He never really reached for baby gym- well he did a bit but hardly at all. Now at 8mths all the other mums in my baby group when we meet at houses and cafes etc need to push hot cups away and watch what is within reach. I remember that stage well having had 3 other dcs but it isn't a problem for me with this one. He's had his vision checked so it's not that.
There are lots of things that concern me but this is a very stark one. Just wondered how common lack or reaching was in ASD children. Thanks

Just bumping as I don't know where to turn in real life. Nobody interested in listening to worries about an 8.5mth old even though he's my 4th. Feeling very down and stressed by it all

My DS is only in the dx process atm, but no, he never really reached for or pointed at things at 8.5 months, but he is my only child so never really had any other to compare him too.

I'm sure others will be along to offer some advice and such, but I would say if you are worried contact HV or GP and go with your gut.

I have a 3 year old with ASD, and yes, he did reach out for things all the time at this age. He was actually a real pickle when it came to getting hold of things, and spent a lot of time up on all fours just desperate to get to stuff - he crawled at dead on 9 months with this as his sole motivation...

I'm not an expert, but those that are keep telling me over and over again that every child on the spectrum is different, and autism can present in different ways in different children. I don't know if this helps you at all, but just wanted to give you some support - I know only too well that horrible feeling when your child is not doing what everyone else's is.

My Dd reached out lots for things

Pointing or rather lack of was one of the questions they asked me when both ds2 and ds3 were diagnosed. Its not indicative though so just because your ds doesn't do it yet does not mean anything by itself. He's still very very young.

mine reached out - at that stage we did not have the slightest idea that DD might have autism.

Thank you everyone so much for taking the time to reply. From what I can gather through reading, reaching out doesn't mean a child doesn't have autism but not reaching out can be a big indicator.
Some of you may have read and kindly responded to the thread I started back when he was 6mths. In that I stated lots of things that worried me such as fleeting eye contact, inability to either breast feed or bottle feed, strange non social smile, lack of any social smile, not noticing if I came into a room or left it. Well he's still the same. I know I'll have a clearer idea when he reaches an age where joint attention should kick in but as he's my fourth, I just know something is amiss. It's like he's somewhere else constantly if that makes sense. Have seen Hv on a number of occasions but I'm just told to wait and see.

It's distressing for you not knowing anything for sure....I'm sorry you are feeling like this.
I wonder that your GP has not done some basic testing with your baby?...reflexes, response to sound, facial expressions etc....
I would be making another visit and asking for some specialist paediatric assessments to be done....
Go back and hassle like hell
It took me til my DS was 4.5 before anyone would listen and by then I felt like I was just a crap mother and my child was miserable and I didn't know how to deal with anything...I've had a long battle but yours doesn't need to be...please keep going with your instincts and keep on at the gp to refer you.
my DS was my only child but I'd had years as a nanny and child minder before I had him and knew there were issues and couldn't get mw or gp to listen to me...
I hope you get some answers soon and the support you need too x

my ds was very similar, hes not been diagnosed with anything just 12month delays, behaviour problems, speech delay and disorder but i do worry he might be on the spectrum, hes 3.6 and they are "waiting and seeing".

the constant smiling, head banging, lack of pointing/gestures, not caring if i left him, he found playing with toys difficult like he had no clue what they where for... his eye contact from 14months as been ok though.

My DS has ASD and was diagnosed officially at age 4, however we suspected something was a little amiss from about the age of 7 months.

He did reach out for things and his development was delayed in general but still feel 'just' within 'normal'.

Like one of the other mums said..he was a VERY passive baby, slept a lot in the day and still slept through the night! He was a dream first baby!

Fleeting eye contact and minimal facial expressions are the things that I remember from baby age.

From age 2, it was the delay in language development and also lack of imaginative play.

It is true though that autism does present differently in each child!

Thanks again. The strange constant non social smiling is kinda creepy sometimes. As if he knows something I don't!
Leonie, I'm sure you're right about diagnosis but I just wish there was some way to help him now. There doesn't seem to be anything about early intervention at his age; nothing before about 18mths though some Aba people will start earlier. I just wish there was some sort of play therapy I could be doing now but it's hard when he ignores me all the time and won't even make eye contact with me.

Thanks leonie. On googling, there seems to be a lot of centres in the US who will see a child as young as J but none over here. Also seems like early intervention can be accessed as mainstream from 3mths but of course, not sure what that entails.

I'm just feeling so helpless at the moment. Maybe I should start a thread asking if anyone knows of any interventions suitable from about 9mths. Thanks again.

Ds didn't reach out much. From an early age he needed a personal invitation to do most things ... So things neded to be put in to his hands for him to realise he might like to handle the object.. He still needs a personal invitation for most things.He rarely instigates anything. Very passive 15 year old.
Not an easy baby though... He was a nightmare! Nothing calmed or pacified him.. He didn't want me.. He just screamed... A lot.
Very very early speech...first word at 6 months... Full sentences by 13 months... Like he had learnt it from a manual.. No babble or baby talk .
Now... He rarely speaks... And never instigates a conversation.

I have never met another child with autism just like him... Although I have heard of / seen most of his traits in other children with autism... So I'm guessing you will get a very varied picture with this question. I think your gut feeling on this one is probably right .

I know the feeling of looking for adequate help when everybody tells you to wait and see...
Maybe for the time being keep bringing him to playgroups (those for baby play not just mommies meetup) to keep him stimulated, get him loads of "sensory" type toys (rattles, books with different textures to touch etc.), peek a boo games, tickling, nursery rhymes/dancing etc. After all that's what they do in therapy sessions later.
How does he sleep? And eat?

Hello, I had my son looker at at the age of one year by a osychologist specialised in early autism, I can pass you the details if you want, her assesment and report was excellent, she worked in USA and there it is acnkowledged that some very young kids can show signs of autism very early on. Good luck, I know how you feel, I knew my youngest is soecial child since he was about 6 months, but nobody believed me ( not even my own husband). It is maddening.

Both of mine reached out for things. My eldest had zippo eye contact though and would go rigid when you cuddled him, even as a newborn. otoh, my youngest had good eye contact for the first couple of years. I don't recall either of them pointing though. And they weren't talking more than the odd word for years and years.

You certainly can tell at an early age, if the symptoms are there. I knew there was something from birth with my eldest. I thought he didn't love me, he had no interest at all in me. Looking at me, interacting in any way. The wall was more interesting than I was! Also, when I showed him picture books, he wasn't interested in faces like they tell you babies are.

As he got older, he started lining things up and having very repetitive play.

My youngest seemed to develop more as you'd expect, but regressed, which was a bit of a shock!

I think you should trust yourself. If you feel there is cause for concern - you're probably right!

Thank you so much everyone, this is really useful. Sorry not to reply yesterday but DD2 was off nursery with a tummy bug.

I feel as though I just know there is something wrong if that makes sense? Not sure if it's because Ive had 3 before him or because he is just so distant and never engages with me. Maybe if he was my first I would have just assumed I was a rubbish mother. Either way, what I don't want to do is waste time now so off to trawl the internet for ideas on what to do. Thanks for the suggestions about stimulation.

Babiki, if you could pass on the info of the psychologist you saw that would be great. We're in Sussex but can get to London etc fairly easily though if she's as good as you're suggesting then we'll travel where necessary.

I am going to start another thread asking for advice on intervention with a baby as young as J. Hope nobody minds me doing so even though we're not yet a member of this community.

DS1 couldn't wait to get at things. He was so determined that he was crawling on his belly at 4.5m and pulling up at the furniture at 7m, before he could actually sit unsupported!

@lovingthecoast

Hi,

I hope my comment finds you even though it's been quite a few years.

I'm having the exact same concerns about my 6 month old son and was wondering how things turned out for you and your little one?

I too am looking for early intervention here in the UK and wondering if you could recommend anyone that you may have found?

Would really appreciate a response.. I am so worried and upset :( xxx