Apols in advance for long post. I'm confused and want to give all info I can.
My ds is 6. He's suffered with glue ear since about 3 and is on second set of grommets. At times his hearing has been very bad but for past 7 months has been "normal" - certaily can hear as far as I can tell.
He has always been very verbal, eloquent, bright and interested in learning and from my perspective and at home has completely fine concentration skills (will make any lego figure for hours, plays board games, card games, chess, will make things/draw (if in the mood) and now i've been working on it for a couple of holidays, can sit and do 15 minutes of maths and 15 minutes of literacy alone, in his room on demand.)
School have identified a problem with concentration in class. It's not more than a "lack of concentration" at the mo but he has moved down to bottom tables in everything since reception when he was probably considered middle (his major hearing loss occurred in first term of year 1). However he goes to a pretty academic private primarly school where the abilites of children are very high and while he's on the bottom tables he is doing things certainly within the year 2 syllabus in Maths. Since December when this first became apparent, I've worked with him in the holidays to ensure he doesn't fall behind class and practices concentrating (he was starting to feel like he was rubbish at everything). He is reading OK I think (level 12 ORT so again advanced in general but probably bottom quarter of his class. He says the words sometimes move on the page.). His writing is OK I think for year 1 (def worst in his class but pretty much legible and although he struggles to write much sometimes at school (a my weekend diary on a Monday can sometimes be only 2 sentences, cf others in class writing 2 pages. But when a subject catches his imagination - like making up a fairy tail, he'll write 2 pages - most words not spelt brilliantly but a phonetic shot. Sometimes pretty messy but most letters are formed correctly if a bit big and messy.
He is however definitely a highly sensitive child (as diagnosed by that book!). He's always been v highly strung, suffered hugely from separation anxiety since a baby and now even in year 1, after 3 or 4 weeks of happy departures (or at least acceptance) he'll revert to the odd sreaming fit. He's emotionally volatile at home. We were having lots of raging tantrums until I implemented a range of changes (so no idea which worked) - following through every time on threats, putting him on omega 3s, cutting sugar and aspartame out of his diet where possible, focus on high GI foods. While still capable of a mega blow out, they're less frequent and certainly more normal. I feel he is empathetic and emotional - was devastated when fish died.
He doesn't struggle socially with friends in one way: has very deep friendships with a few close friends he's known since birth and plays very well with them (imaginitive play fine, sometimes the leader, sometimes the follower, can share, can win, can lose now without flipping out). But with new people he's v shy and reserved - if a kid talks to him in the park he won't reply.
Parties and extracurricular actvities are more trickly. Parties fine if I'm there. Can get into them, will volunteer, laugh, shreik with others, tear around and play it. But hates the idea of me leaving (although iv'e managed it a few times). Clubs are harder, but again it's separation from me he struggles with most and enjoys it if we actually manage to get him in there. it's a nightmare process for us both though and we've just given up on his gym club.
He has bad eye contact.
what i want is your opinion- is it his personality, is he a 6 year old boy with normal concentration problems in a high achieving school where the poor guy's just a bit bored and wants to make starwars lego instead. and perhaps in another school would be considered average.
or is it somethign more. there are aspects of hiim that i could fit into an ADHD diagnosis, sensory processing issues, retained reflexes (he can ride a bike, and is getting better with physical things via gym classes but is the slowest runner of the boys in class and soemtimes seems to be a bit 'stiff' when he runs or swims - though he can swim wihtout arm bands).
maybe i should follow my gut, or maybe i've read too many mumsnet articles! i know he's different (as is his dad - in v similar ways) and i love him dearly as my little sensitive soul but if it's more i want to get him help as i know life will be tougher for him than my other DS who is sensitive but much more robust.
thank you!