ASD - some advice please

[HarlotOTara]

Hi,

My youngest dd is 15 in year 10. She had some very serious health issues as a baby and has always been a rather challenging and stubborn child who finds change very difficult and struggles in social situations. I have always put this down to her first couple of years of life being full of pain and having an operation that has left her with mild left-sided hemiplegia caused my nerve damage. She is very self-conscious of the lack of symmetry in her body and the slight limp she has.

I have at times wondered if she might be very mildly autisitic but there has never been any issues at school or anything and she hasn't ever met the symptoms I have read about (admit I don't know a huge amount). Her confidence has improved in the last year but she still struggles in social situations. She has two very shy friends and I have always felt that she is a year to 18 months below what I would expect in emotional development but again I have put that down to her being ill for the first 18 months of her life.

I recently did an on-line Autism test for myself - to see what it said and I was curious, I come across children with SN as part of my job and was looking for more info. so that I can help them. I did the test with my dd yesterday and she scored 32 which is the very bottom of high. I suppose I am asking: are these tests sensible and worth taking note of and should I be concerned and looking at support of some kind.

Give,

Thanks I will look up that book. The test we took was the AQ test - I know it is just a test but is it reliable? I am assuming that it is more a vague guide than giving anything near a diagnosis. I suppose what I am wondering is what should I do. However maybe reading the book will give me more insight and maybe help my dd. Am grateful for anybody else's opinions.

Give,

We are under GOSH for issues around her operation and have been for years although an orthopaedic bloke now checking her spine is ok - her operation left her muscles weak on her left-side. There is nothing wrong with her speech and language - she is good with words and we have had extensive physio and stuff in the past. I am good at fighting as had to when she was a baby and since.

I have always felt that the emotional issues I think she has have stemmed from the fact that she was in a lot of pain and unable to eat as a baby (she had a non-cancerous tumour on her brain stem that took a year to diagnose). Her main interaction with other people outside of immediate family was mainly when drs were examining her and performing tests. She became very wary of people she didn't know. After her operation she was paralysed on her left side and it took a while for the nerves to heal and approx. six months for her to walk again. I have always assumed that her need for sameness and routine and disliking change and surprises was due to waking up and not being able to move - it is hard to explain that to an 18 month old and I couldn't prepare for that as I didn't know. Saying all that she has improved in confidence in the last year or so and is much better at social chat than she was.

Tbh if she was mildly autistic it would be a relief as I could find out strategies to help. I never know if I am being an over anxious mum because of the trauma of her illness and imagining that there is something wrong or that she is just an individual with quirks (as are we all).

Sorry for the essay but it feels quite helpful to write it down.

My daughter has autism but she cant cope with it, you can tell she is from being in a room with her for 5 mins. The Doctor i was talking to says nearly everyone has autistic traits its if you can cope with them or not, like i am shy dont like making eye contact, dont like going to unfamiliar places and other things but i can cope with this, i may feel uncomfortable but i wont have a break down or anything. Best thing would be talking to a doctor or health professional about it. Im going trought the same process with my son, its like i know there is something not right but im unsure what it is, as im not sure he is autistic but he did score on the ados test but there doing it again in 9 months time, it makes me feel like im going insaine like im looking for something wrong with him, but luckly as my daughter has been through the process everyone knows us and really happy to help.

Good luck

The techniques for dealing with asd are going to come in handy for any child with some similar issues, whatever the cause. So you might as well learn them, diagnosis or not, abd maje life easier!

My skills for ds1's asd help enormously in managing the NT children during stressful situations, overloaded moments, transitions etc.

Sorry 'and make life easier'

Give,

Yes we had a hard time - thanks for acknowledging. I think that researching is what I am going to do - I have ordered the first book you recommended and will go from there. Mariam I agree, whatever the issue might be anything I learn will help. I am not particularly worried about a diagnosis at the moment, if ever. She is still the same person whatever and sometimes labels are just that. If it helps to talk to professionals I will but to be honest at the moment I don't think it will.

I will keep you posted if that is ok