DS's asd observation today - is anyone there to hold my hand?

[PedanticPanda]

I couldn't sleep last night, and I feel really sick today. I thought I had it all together and had done my crying. Camhs had even remarked upon how impressed they were with me and now I'm going to go there a nervous blubbering wreck and no use to DS at all :(

Could today be when we get our dx? He's also getting a cognitive assessment for learning difficulties which is spread over about 4 appontments so he's still got 2 more of them to go so I'm not sure if they'll wait until they are done or tell me today.

Is it normal to be this scared? On the one hand I'm terrified he'll be given a dx of asd, but on the other I'm worried that today he'll have a really good day and not tick enough boxes to warrant a dx and won't get the help he needs.

Hi pedantic and good luck for you both today. Here's hoping he's 'himself' and you get some kind of answer today.

I'm not that far on yet but I feel nervous at every appointment and haven't cried too much - and believe me that's an achievement

Thanks littlelegs

sit yourself down and i'll massage your shoulders?

it's awful isn't it? you want them to tell you your child has a significant difficulty but feel bad for hoping that, that if they say 'no, off you pop, it's all to do with you' it's bad...

rock and hard place spring to mind for you?

try to relax, but if you cry, so what? it's a human response

Good luck for today. Remember no matter what they say, he is still your little DS :)

Good luck x

Thanks a lot everyone, your messages put a smile on my face.

We're on our way just now but DS has decided he doesn't like the feel of his socks and shoes on his feet so I've had to put him in the car in his bare feet

extends hand for holding....

I know what you mean - Its a real dilemma isn't it? You want to know what is wrong - or if you are "imagining it" but don't want to be told he has a lifelong condition to manage. I feel for you.

Hope it all goes well.

I too was worried my son wouldn't tick enough boxes as his behaviour differs from day to day and depends on the situation. He did get a dx of ASD. He had 3 observations, then I was asked to attend an appointment on my own some weeks later. It was then I was told he had ASD.

It's normal to be scared. I hope today goes well for you and your DS. x

[holds hand]

good luck, it is such a wierd feeling to WANT to be told your DC has a diagnosable difficulty, isn't it? Also feels wierd to WANT them to 'perform' badly, and to hope they aren't having a good day....

We have our meeting following a 5 day assessment this afternoon so will be told if DS meets criteria for dx or not. I think he doesn't but he shows a lot of traits which to me is almost the worst case scenario as they acknowledge he has difficulties but we won't get any support

Really hope it goes well today for you and they can give you some answers

Good luck! with you in spirit :)

Hope all goes well and dont worry about the shoe/sock thingy DS went in with his hoodie inside out and all you can see was a mass of stitching an padding from the pic on the front!

Holds hand also.

We're all sitting behind you on the left.

Oh my youngest DS is like that too with the socks, shoes! As long as you get there that is all that matters. :)

Good luck, wishing it goes well.

Good luck...I remember that feeling of him going in and hoping he would be 'bad enough' for a dx but wondering what if they came out and said all was well- what then?

and chocolate.

hi, i've come to hold hands. dd has very recently had asd diagnosis. dd didnt "tick all the boxes" but ticked enough of them iykwim. right up until we had the dx i felt that maybe she wouldnt get it, but at the same time knowing if i didnt get it i would probably be begging them.

I'm probably a little late for hand holding, but thought I'd come along and add my support.

It's such a difficult time with so many conflicting emotions. Hope it was ok.

Good luck for this afternoon to you as well skidd.

How did it go pedantic? Let us know

Just back from mine - no dx

Thanks so much everyone for the great responses, it helped a lot knowing I had support here and wasn't alone.

They decided to wait until all the cognitive assessments were done then they'll call me in to give me the verdict. They said they were asking him jokes that he didn't get but they thought that may be down to his age as he's 5, but couldn't they just ask him more age appropriate things or adjust the assessments according to age group?

He drew a picture and gave me it when I got in which caused one of the ladies to start frantically writing things down - I wish I said at the time but it was just because he wanted me to carry it, not because he wanted to share achievements etc with me, but am now worried that will affect the result. I should probably stop over-analysing and just wait.

Sorry skidd what happens now, are you just expected to get on with things on your own?

this will be me in a few (hopefully ) weeks. I am terrrified the closer it gets. if it is asd it means that i am a crap parent i suppose.

you just want them to do what they do that caused you to think there was something worth investigating in the first place.

It's an amazingly stressy and rather drawn out process. I hope you are relaxing a little now. If not, or will help, as will mumsnet, of course.