3.6 y/o public tantrums

[saladsandwich]

ds is 12months behind but making steady progress but hes got a few behaviours that make life difficult for us one of them is these public tantrums but i'm not sure if its a 3.6 y/o (or a 2.6y/o) thing or if its just a part of ds...

today he had a tantrum on the way to school and he refused to cross roads and hold my hand and tried running, i had to pick him up across every road and he goes limp when i try. this tantrum was quite mild 10minutes and not very aggressive

2nd tantrum was awful, in a play group a child took something from ds and ran off with it, ds sat there crying with arm out for it back, then he gave chase for it but child hid it further (it was a little toy) cue ds screaming high pitched and throwing 5 or 6 really big toys across the room in anger so play group worker tells him i remove him from the situation, childs parent tries to give him something while im calming him down and he throws that because its not what he wanted, other child drops this small toy then he went over picked it up and he was calm.... other child took something from him again, same cycle happened 3 times and i just dont feel like taking him anymore tbh

on the way home he tried running off, we where walking with others from the play group and because we walked a different way home he thought he was going to one of their houses so he set off crying heart broken trying to run that way when they went home, same when other parent left because they've called at our house before he presumed they where again so he kicked off bad.

are these run of the mill tantrums? i do sometimes feel likee its just me not coping

at home hes not too bad just wont let me turn the tv off to leave the house without the music finishing on a programme, if a new program so much as flickers on it as to be watched even if its something he hates, if i say somethings going to happen or give him a choice it must happen, he generally doesnt tantrum bad over the word "no"

Sorry u had a rough time- mat be giving him a lot of warnings before smth is going to happen might help?

thanks, i do warn him and to make life easier he turns the t.v off after a programme if we are getting ready to leave the house but sometimes i feel like i have to be a mind reader, in his mind he decides that somethings going to happen and when it doesnt he throws a tantrum but they are so violent at times, i cant wear my glasses at the minute because he keeps hitting them into my face.

all morning hes been at it, i dont know what to do anymore, i've tried getting him into the drs today for what good it would do but no appointments at all

and he just gets worse and worse :( think somethings bothering him but no idea what had about 10 massive tantrums today, think it was just 1 big one tbh :(((

I feel so sorry for u, it must be so hard. Have u read about PDA, does anything sound familiar? Does he have a formal dx?

thanks for replying i just needed to vent, i've not read up on it i'll have a look paed as said 12month behind with language, communication skills, play skills, social skills but they put his troubles down to the poor language but his language (maybe biased) is good now and SALT said on the report he has immature language with disoder. (it runs in my family) nearly every bit though on the report says "we couldnt get/it was difficult to get a formal assessment because ds not co operating"

I remember these well, my daughter who is 6 now wouldnt cross roads, had tantrums on the floor, screams ripped her hair out. I ended up getting a car to take her to school even tho is only a 15min walk. But as her understanding has got better its gotten easier, i also would show her videos on youtube about the green cross code, there is one with a song "stop, look and listen before you cross the street" she has always reacted better to songs even now she will switch off if you talk to her longer than a quick sentence.

thanks i might try the video thing, the most upsetting thing is he as been on reins walking from 16months mo problems till he turned 3 he can walk long distances and if the mood taks him hes fine but in a mood he darts across roads or lays in the middle and goes floppy so i cant carry him

im starting to wonder if he has less understanding than i thought though and thats why hes behaving like he is but his understanding seems good but hes repeating alot atm

sounds very similar to my little boy who is 3y 4m old! as far as our son goes, hes very behind (about 2 years behind with language) but i think he is just frustrated and as he gets older he will grow out of it. If yours keeps running off and lying in the road you could get a wrist strap they are so cheap on amazon and then he can walk ahead but you still have him attached to you. We used one for my daughter to stop her running into the road and it was a god send. It is hard when our son has tantrums but I have got so used to it now i dont really bat an eyelid, i just pull him up off the ground and say stand up, if he keeps lying on the floor and going floppy and yelling i say Bye then, wave and start walking off, he does get upset but I stop, go back to him, pop him on his feet, have a quick cuddle and thats it tantrum over and off we go!

hi, thanks for the reply...

i cant really say my ds is frustrated anymore, the tantrums have got worse and his lanuage s getting better, i've tried a wrist strap but im scared he'll hurt himself with that, he pulls and resists quite badly so used the little life reins but hes hating them atm.

how do you get by lifting your little one... mine is just so heavy now i'm struggling tbh, i've tried the "i'm off, bye" but he doesnt care, he can lay on the ground forever he will also run the opposite way... when hes in a tantrum he is lost imo