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How do you teach good manners when all around you have lost theirs?

4 replies

coppertop · 08/12/2003 19:31

This afternoon I had to get the bus into town for a doctors appointment. We were first to arrive at the bus stop and so ds1(3.5yrs old) sat down nicely at one end of the bench. I sat down next to him and told him what a good boy he was for waiting nicely. Like a lot of ASD children he usually has a big problem with queues and waiting. I left a tiny gap between us (about an inch) as his sensory problems mean that he can't always tolerate touch. Other people arrived and sat next to me and eventually the seat was full. I couldn't believe it when a woman walked up to ds1 (who was still sitting nicely at the end of the bench) and literally shoved him out of the way, saying "I want to sit down!" She didn't even bother to say 'excuse me' or ask for a seat. She wasn't elderly or pregnant and had no obvious mobility problems. The small space ds1 had occupied wasn't even big enough for one of her ample 'cheeks'. Poor ds1 was so confused and didn't understand what he'd done wrong. To top it all, when the bus arrived most people pushed past him. How am I supposed to teach ds1 about manners and turn-taking when he sees adults behaving like this?

OP posts:
twiglett · 08/12/2003 20:58

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ks · 08/12/2003 22:20

This reply has been deleted

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doormat · 09/12/2003 09:25

Coppertop what a nasty woman.

If you are ever in that position again just say to the person
"that was not nice"
this will show your ds that her behaviour was unacceptable and he will learn from it.
HTH

aloha · 09/12/2003 10:30

There are always horrible, rude people about - esp people who think it is OK to be rude to children. I think you can just carry on doing what you are doing. I agree, tell him he was a good boy with lovely manners and sadly the lady did not behave very well at all and was quite naughty. She does sound horrible.

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