Would you be offended ?

[Theglassishalffull]

Hi, am a TA who works with a child as a 1-1. I have worked with him since he was 2.5. His 5th birthday is coming up soon and I want to get him something. I do this discreetly and this is something I have always done with all the children I worked 1-1 with.

Thing is this child and his family have had tough year and a half due to the child having an illness. What I would love to do is take him out for the day somewhere. My question is would you think me silly if I asked you if I could take your child for the day? I have a good relationship with the parents,more so after him becoming ill.

He is a super star and the most resilient child I have ever met. I love working with him.

Sounds lovely, but from a purely pragmatic point of view, would you feel comfortable taking him somewhere on your own? My school wouldn't let me for CP reasons. (I'm a 1:1 TA also) It's blurring the line between your professional relationship and a personal one. If you are likely to be supporting this child through primary school I'd say not, because he'll end up seeing you as a family friend rather than a TA and you may get problems with discipline later on. If you are EY only and will finish working with him in July, then it's not so much of an issue.

I think it is lovely of you to care so much

Think a present is a great idea. The only thing about taking him out for the day is it might blur the lines between teacher/friend. Kind of a bit inappropriate for a teacher to take out a pupil, so the relationship with a TA should, imo, be on the same professional footing. But as a parent, I would certainly be touched by a present.

How lovely that you want to do this for the little boys birthday.

Sadly though, i think the others are probably right.

Although having said that the SEN team at Dd3's school do help at the childrens parties and act as carers somtimes but they would never be alone with a child.

So unless you can get another TA or teacher to go with you, I think i would go for a gift if i were you.

I know it's slightly blurring the line, but I know the family really well mainly due to the child being so ill. I also live in the country and everyone knows everyone.

I wouldn't mind be bothered by taking him off for the day and know he would enjoy it.j

I have cared for one of 'my' children in the holidays. Slightly different but the parents wanted t go to a specialist conference about their child's disabilities and had no one who could be left with him (he's very challenging!) I offered and we had a nice day!

I think it's probably unusual in mainstream but in special school a lot of TAs also do direct payments for their pupils ..especially the younger ones who have the energy, and certainly school don't mind..they often link the parent to a possible carer TA!

I have offered to take one of my boys to Legoland in the holidays.. just because I now he will enjoy it:)

I am edging towards at least asking his Mum as surely what I do in my spare time is up to me?

My dd's TA takes out her last children (twins) every couple of months. They have left the school now but she does this to keep in touch and she will want to take dd in time. I'd check first with the school but as a parent I would be delighted.