Perception problems

[Desperatelywantingadvice]

Ds is constantly in 'trouble' at school and I'm sure it's largely due to seeing and reading situations in a different way to others. For example if an incident occurs he will tell us what he believes has happened but school will say that it wasn't like that at all. We are still awaiting a dx but likely to be HFA/AS and we are seeing a CP shortly. Can anything be done to help him with this? School have tried all recommended strategies but I feel he is just being labelled as being badly behaved instead of them trying to understand the cause. They also believe that he is 'choosing' to behave the way he does

Sounds like the school are not being very supportive or understanding (i wonder how much they know about HFA/AS?).

My dd1 has Aspergers, she often gets into arguments at school because she has taken things the wrong way, we are trying to encourage her to ask for help from a teacher if she doesnt understand or if she feels a situation is getting out of hand.

You could try using social stories or role play to teach him how to handle different situations (we do a lot of role play at home and it seems to help).

Thanks Marne. They do use social stories at school apparently and we did think they were understanding about his difficulties until he was excluded. We have been told any further incidents and it will be permanent exclusion so obviously want to try to avoid this. His anxiety doesn't help and he can just erupt sometimes if he feels someone is deliberately annoying him.

That must be hard for both of you , my dd1 gets very anxious but her outbursts are more emotional (crying) rather than violent. I have dd1's OT coming to see me on friday to talk about ways of controling her anxiety (i will let you know if she gives me any good tips). Do the school allow him to leave the room/classroom when he's upset? (as he got somewhere quite where he can go and calm down?). One of dd's ideas of controling anger is by popping bubble wrap (you can keep some in his pocket and when he feels anxious or angry he can pop it).

Dd1 often thinks that people are talking behind her back, staring or that people don't like her (most of the time she is wrong), if she falls over someones foot then she will accuse them of tripping her up and will cry until they say 'sorry'. It is hard work at times when they see things so differently.

Thanks Marne - I like the idea of bubble wrap but I think the popping sound will draw attention to him and he gets enough stick already . He has some fiddle toys though so will try to get him to take one to school with him. They do let him go to a quiet room but he doesn't like it there which isn't helpful really. I am also going to ask the CP for advice about anxiety issues.

Hi OP. My DS was diagnosed with HFA/AS last autumn. Prior to that I was constantly hearing from school about 'behaviour' issues despite my flagging with them constantly that I was worried it was ASD instead.
After diagnosis, his mis-behaviour continued and I felt it took until now for school to get 'up to speed' as to the impact of his diagnosis on his daily function in school.
I find that constantly talking to his teacher helps- she knows that bad behaviour is not tolerated but also that I will stand up for him when it's an anxiety or sensory issue. He has been withdrawn from class regularly for additional teaching and this 'space' seems to help him manage himself. I did the Talkability course and that has seemed to have had an impact as I have changed how I explain social rules etc to him. I have also persuaded school to allow him to have blu-tack or a thumb-tack (yes!) which he uses for self calming.

Oh yea..he also does visual stimming to calm himself and I have explained to teacher that this is just what he needs - if its disturbing someone else, they will have to find a strategy for that as its not something that he does as a concious choice.