School meeting next week. Advice please. Don't want to be fobbed off anymore.

[detoxneedednow]

Hi everyone.

As some of you know, DD (5)has always had certain autistic traits, but is rather inconsistant with her behaviours so school up until recently have just thought of her as 'quirky'. I posted recently about school suddenly seeing her traits as a potential problem and told us that she stands out and is becoming more noticably different as she gets older. They've been monitoring her over the past few weeks to see if it was just a blip, which I susupect it isn't, and after that time we get get together along with the SENCO who is also the headmaster to discuss the plan of action or IEP.

When I spoke to one of her teachers(she has a lot!) she said that there was no need for a diagnosis because they're aware of her issues and we just need to work together to iron out the creases so to speak. Her main issues by far are her social skills. I obviously don't agree with this because of the enevitability that circumstances and her needs in general with change as she gets older.

So really I suppose I have a feeling that i'm going to be swimming against the tide, as I know they are all on the same page. I don't want to crumble under the pressure and feel intimidated, purely on the fact that it will be a 4 against 1 situation.

I know that legally they are entitled to do much more than they originally will let on.

Should I even let them know that I don't agree with them and i'm going down the diagnosis route? I know if they tell me again how anti label they are, i'll get angry and that's something I really don't want to do. It's a really important meeting and it's crucial to keep things civil.

Has anyone got any advice on how I approach this and what are the questions I should ask specifically? I know the basics, but that's about it.

Thank you for reading.

If you want to investigate whether your DD is on the Autistic spectrum you don't need the school to take the lead. It doesn't matter if one teacher thinks a diagnosis is not needed - that's not for them to make that decision.
You can go to your GP and request assessment from either CAMHS or a Paediatrician (GP will refer to the appropriate one) for assessment for autism. (Be prepared for a long wait for assessment though.)

In school you can request an assessment by an Education Psychologist; this will look at her needs and support needs in school. Be prepared to hassle for this - schools can be reluctant as (I could be wrong) I think it costs them money.

I am currently waiting to hear back from the paed. I don't feel like I need their permission or anything, I just wished we were on the same page. And actually, we are! It's just that they don't feel like a label is necessary. This is either because they think that she's on the mild end of the spectrum and so therefore we can sort out her issues without itervention, or, they don't want to delve into the pot for assessments etc like you say selks. I think it's a mixture of both if i'm being honest, but i'm ready to fight for the best help my DD can get, i'm just not entirely sure how.

Thanks selks by the way

I have DS who has AS. the differences in social skills esp have become more noticable as he gets older. I think he needs more help now than he appeared to at a younger age. He was 7 when we got the dx.
All the literature says that the earlier your child gets intervention the more successful it is. It would seem, if a diagnosis would help you to more formally access the help that the school are currently providing, then it is worth chasing. Also without a definate Dx of ASD which is lifelong they could decide to withdraw support with no notice. It sounds unlikely from what you are saying - but you never know.

You getting a diagnosis doesn't "cost" the school anything. You need a paediatrician to diagnose, and EP can't do it - they don't have a medical qualification. Having a diagnosis or not doesn't prevent them from helping your child access everything in school though. I personally would always get a diagnosis, it can often help get access to specialist services who won't let a child be referred without one. What schools can 'cope' with in the Foundation Stage is often a different story as the child gets older though.