So...stereotypes...

[BrittaPerry]

Please don't shout at me, I am putting his in its own thread so that it doesn't offend too many people.

I'm curious. I know everyone is different, and that nobody "fits" anything exactly, but how accurate are the stereotypes about certain special needs?

The reason I ask is that I have long suspected (for various reasons) that DD1 and DH have some form of aspergers. There is a character with aspergers on my favourite tv show (community, and it is Abed, if anyone is interested) and so me and DH have a kind of joke between us that either he or DD1 is Abed. I am curious to know if this is just completely rubbish, unhelpful and offensive, or if it is useful. I should add that the Abed character has kind of introduced the concept to DH that people with Aspergers can be pretty cool and have an outlook on life that he chimes with and it wouldn't be too awful if DD1 was diagnosed (although he does think that Abed is a bit too touchy feely, but there you go)

But also in general... there must be something that made the stereotypes start in the first place. Are they at all useful

Do people with downs syndrome tend to be more affectionate than others? (I have only ever known one person with downs syndrome and she was, well, averagely affectionate, but that was just one person)

I have bipolar disorder, and I can tell you that it doesn't make you into a glamorous genius. It does however make you think you are a genius sometimes, (so I suppose if you were an undiscovered genius you would be more likely to get yourself discovered) and reduces your inhibitions, which I suppose could make you seem glamorous in the right setting.

Mental hospital probably has a higher amount of "incident" than the outside world, but the baseline is much, much more boring.

I actually cannot work out exactly what you want to know?????

"stereotypes"?? of what exactly.........

As you said everyone is different

Everyone has their own individual characters

No one person is exactly the same as another be it child or adult with whatever disability they might have.

Well, I don't think stereotypes are helpful in an educational, social services or healthcare setting, if that's what you mean, but I find them mildly amusing when I call ds1 'Sheldon'.

Stereotypes have been fuck all use for dd2. It says 'cerebral palsy' all over her paperwork, and you can see the confusion on people's faces when she walks into the room. Not least the Very Loud Talking and Overly Emotive head patting from the parents of her peers. And their subsequent confusion when they find out her iq is double their child's...

But, er, yup, stereotypes exist. Bit hard to cover all stereotypes of all sn in one post - that can't really be what you're after?

Pretty much what you said, mad :-) Just wondering if people sometimes find stereotypes a handy shorthand, obviously not in depth. Also whether calling DD1 "Abed" is ridiculously offensive or just a mildly amusing way of me and DH saying to each other "look, she is doing stuff that makes us think she has aspergers again", given that she has never seen the show so has no idea what we are talking about. And whether showing the character to DH and saying "look, DD1 is a bit like that sometimes, isn't she" is any kind of use, considering that watching the show is the first time he has actually said "ok, yes she is a bit unusual" - before that he was just insisting that she is just so brilliant that she doesn't need to interact with other people very well and that the toilet training, little strange habits, obsessions etc are just because she is so cool. Which I suppose is a lovely way of looking at it in itself, but not very helpful when DD1 is upset again that the other kids won't do what she wants...

Also, just a bit curious whether some of the other stereotypes have any truth in them, but not wanting to offend anyone by asking them out of the blue as I know it is an odd question. Everyone is different, I know, but there must be some things that are there to make the condition have a name, iyswim, and are those things the things that people think they are?

TBH, I'm a bit confused myself as to what I am asking...

Confused - yes me too - I don't get it. Would you like your life to be governed by fitiing a steriotype - mother who doesn't 'get' Special Needs, but is trying to dx via a show put on for entertainment. Believe me, the people here have real and distinct problems, every day, every night, with no day off, and hardly time to watch TV and 'laugh' at how disability is portrayed for people to watch and smirk over.
If you're concerned get a referal - but yes you have offended. Maybe you wouldn't think it 'cool' if you lived with this everyday.

eye contact rubbish!

Other unhelpful stereotypes - children with autism being unhappy (looks at my smiling giggling boy), unaffectionate (as I'm being smothered in hugs & kisses), or withdrawn (as I'm being constantly badgered for attention). I find many of the sensory stereotypes unhelpful too - loud noises, being touched etc - they just don't apply to my ds & have left him in dangerous situations (he is hyposensitive). Children with autism not being aware of how other people are feeling - rubbish, ds may not be able to explain why he feels shit but he always does when he's around stressy or miserable people. All the billions of stereotypes about repetitive behaviours and stimming - vast majority of people wouldn't even notice my ds stimming - he doesn't rock, flap, bounce etc. Or not being imaginative (ds is incredibly imaginative but lacks social imagination to a certain extent). Or the empathy bollocks. Theory of Mind. It isn't just lay people who are full of shit, HCPs & academics are just as bad.

Or not being sociable. Or having an interest in bright lights (?) or spinning things. Or lining things up. Or liking numbers. Or having rainman type rituals. Or pretty much anything that uses the word they ... as in 'oh they do like/do X don't they'. In my book that marks a person out as a twat.

People not understanding that the diagnosis is about impairments not complete inability & also lacking the social imagination to appreciate how subtly those impairments might manifest differently in any of the millions of people with ASD.

I hate disability stereotypes, I don't think they are ever a useful shorthand. I think they rob people of their humanity.

(^ it's a very big deal for me ;) )

mycar - I do actually come up against stereotypes all the time. I have been refused jobs, told I can't babysit for people and all sorts, just because I have had psychosis and been in mental hospital. My health has suffered (I will never be without pain in my hips, for example) because unrelated illnesses get put down to the mental illness. However,sometimes the shorthand of stereotypes is useful - by saying the word "psychosis" people instantly know that I have been seriously ill, for example, and it means that university and so on know to give me extra leeway so I din't get over stressed. Just curious about whether the stereotypes that a lot of people have about other conditions have any truth in them at all.

And I am not trying to dx through a tv show. My DD has some pretty noticeable traits (both sterotypical and not) that cause her problems and I have read up on properly, but obviously I am not an expert - for example my psychology textbooks do all talk about theory of mind, so it is a surprise to me that it is bollocks. I'm just not sure whether having charecters on tv etc is helpful or not, given that DD is lucky enough to not be too severe and doesn't yet have an official diagnosis (it is in progress, or at least school are "on it", whatever that means)

But you will then know what a streriotype is then surely - people hear mental illness and don't understand it. They think 'One Flew over the Cuckoos nest', they think you're unsafe for their children to be around, or for you to take on board information. I know as my sister has had bad bouts of mental health problems and she has faced all the above.
Saying 'psychosis' isn't the same as a steriotype - 'psychosis' is a medical definition - a diagnosis, people's expectations of diagnosis is what forms the sterioytpe, and that expectation can come from wrongly informed viewpoints.

That's why I am asking, sorry - I am probably not getting myself across very well here.

For example, if someone told me their child has "xyz" I might think "oh, that means abc" when actually it doesn't. But if I had no idea at all what xyz is, but it is a pretty common problem, then it would be a bit daft for the person to have to say "my child has problems doing x, they don't have y, they are really good at z" if actually the stereotype is correct, or at least correct for the purposes of the conversation. But then if the stereotype isn't correct, then it means the person has to give the full explanation anyway (obviously in a situation where an explanation is needed)

But are the assumptions useful? and are the stereotypes on tv good for raising awareness or bad because they just reinforce the wrong ideas?

I don't think I am making sense here, sorry.

I think there are assumptions made that are generally wrong, because society as a whole doesn't 'get' disability. You are frowned upon for racism, homophobia etc - and rightly, but you can stare and give slang names, make fun of and assume disabled people are all a certain way - and this is accepted. Does this come via stereoptypical viewpoints or bad education - maybe both. I do not see any stereotypes around us when I take my son to GOSH, for example - many different children, some with the same dx - but these diagnosis all mean degrees of disability mostly unique to that childs personal situation. I would never assume one was the same as another - but maybe that's because I have a disabled SEN child, and see the world differently too now. Is any sereotype right - probably not.

Stereotypes are unhelpful, and are often confused by professionals with "labels" in my experience. A label is a very helpful dx tool, which gives me as a parent and my dc as a disabled individual something to explain and understand what is happening. Often professionals will say labels are unhelpful, this is rubbish, a definitive dx is extremely helpful it is when others manipulate this into an unhelpful stereotype that troubles are experienced.

assumptions are rarely useful. In years past, there were loads of stereotypes about race, religion, etc. Were they useful? Nope. So why would stereotypes of disability be useful?