So i thought i was made of strong stuff... Need a kick up the bum!!

[Shellywelly1973]

I have 5 Dc. 4 th DC has ASD&ADHD. Found out yesterday my 5 th DC is visually impaired, he's lost all vision in his left eye... Im so sad for him, he's 3...

I feel almost guilty for feeling sad, my Ds3 has never known life any other way. He wears glasses, has done since he was 2. Hes a happy, healthy and lively little boy. I knew a year ago his vision was very poor but got the shock of my life yesterday. We went for his annual hospital appointment with the consultant, we ended up being at the hospital nearly 3 hours having tests & seeing different drs etc. Eventually they told me he had lost all the vision in his eye, he can see shadows. Thankfully, his right eye is quite good so he manages with his glasses.

Ds5 finds things much easier then my Ds with ASD.He has been through an awful lot in the last few years but since moving to AS school has improved. When i eventually got his dx of ASD, i was relieved (took 3 yrs & ended up at GOSH).

Im telling myself to belt up & get a grip, Ds5 will be fine. I think its probably the shock of being told the extent of the lack of vision. His nursery teacher asked me how Ds app went as i dropped him off at nursery this morning...i burst into tears, i couldn't control it.

I often think i'm a much better person for having a child with ASD. I was a judgey old moo in my previous life as a "normal" parent. I used to be sensitive, meek, no patience and a bit of a know it all...Ah 4 years of dealing with ASD and all that goes with it has changed me for the better. I thought i could deal with anything after all that but i'm knocked for six this morning, blubbing on MN...if i could get my own foot to my bum, i'd kick it!!

You don't need a kick up the bum. You've just received devastating news about a little boy who you'd move the earth for.

You'll recover and it will be okay somehow but you certainly don't need shaking.

So sorry to hear this.
But you need to give yourself a break. You need to be able to let yourself come to terms with the news before you move onwards and upwards. You are allowed to have some time to be upset. It would be strange if you didn't.

no kick from here - it is horrible news to get :(

THANK YOU...

When my Ds with ASD was about 4 & i started meeting other parents of SN children, i realised the main factor in every case was the parents attuide.

I have taught myself to look on the bright side, don't get me wrong i've been to dark places over the last few years but in the main i try to think positively.

Even when i walked out of GOSH, i could feel the tears stinging, the enormity of what i had just been told about my son, the proff described my ds as one of the most severe cases of ADHD, he had diagnosed. The ASD was almost the lesser problem!? I thought to myself "shut up you silly cow, you would be really f*ed without this dx", ds was already excluded from school. He was 5.

Its just in terms of children i've met , my ds with visual problems is better off then many...

I will go & do something useful(laundry), make myself feel better!! lol.

Star i'm following your thread...Good luck with the baby.

Thank you all again....

Shelly so sorry for what you are going through.

Do you mind me asking what has caused his loss of vision? No problem if you don't want to answer. I have 2 DS's that are partially sighted. Both have other special needs. My DS's haven't lost total vision in one eye but they need to see things 7 times bigger than a 'normal' person. There is no way it can be corrected.

I have known 2 people with one functioning eye, and they can drive, have good jobs. It is so different for everyone.

I posted recently that getting a something confirmed or a diagnosis can hit you like a brick. You kind of expect it (sometimes) but it is hard to take.

Hugs. x

Change,

There appears to be no cause, last year the consultant just said he was very long sighted. We have being 'patching' for a year now, so was hoping the eye would improve with time and patience.

I almost laughed when she started talking about jobs he wouldn't be able to do-HGV, police, army, fire brigade...I instantly thought of all the jobs he will be able to chose from.

I need to get his new glasses so when i'm at the opticians, i'm going to ask about sports glasses and swimming goggles.

I remember your post...

Thanks for your kind words.

Really sorry to hear your news Shelly.

You've got lots to deal with and anyone would be shocked to get the news you got yesterday.

Definitely get the prescription goggles. They made all the difference to me - extreme myopia - as getting them at 8 meant that I could finally see the swimming teacher to know what I was meant to be doing to learn to swim! If you can get them at 3 then it will be great for him :)

Take care of yourself x