does your sensory seeker know why they do it?

[lattelov3r]

Strange question i know but ive been thinking about this this morning and i wondered if anyones dc KNOW why they behave in certain ways for example we took ds (6) shopping yesterday cue running up and down the aisles, touching everything, shouting because i wouldnt let him push the trolly as tbh he was a danger with it, crying that he was freezing in the fridge aisles then literally seconds later trying to climb in the freezers because he was too hot, dh was not happy at all and when we came home he was sitting playing his ds perfectly normally, we spoke to him last night and asked why he behaves like that when we are out and he said he didnt know and was sort of smiling we asked him if anything bothered him noise smells etc and he said no, dh says this much mean its just naughtyness and the fact he could come home and play his ds quietly proves that what do you think??

Ds has no idea why he behaves the way he does, to him its pretty 'normal'.

Ds would behave pretty much like your son, he would run up and down the aisles, skid across the floor, spin around, lay on the floor at the checkout, etc, etc.

He can however sit still, albeit fidgetting or bouncing his legs.

Can i ask would it be possible for him to push the trolley? (that is a great way of providing the input he is seeking) and might cut down on the need to run, jump, spin etc.

I dont think its naughtyness at all, he is just craving input.

Being able to sit on the floor for example provides input, something he cant do when out shopping as this would be 'naughty', but when playing its something that is encouraged iyswim.

I hadnt even thought about the sitting on floor giving input when we are shopping when we get to checkout he sits down or goes off to find a bench and gets rather annoyed if i ask him to just stand still. I usually start off letting him push the trolly but he dosnt manage it well bangs into people and tries to run with it dh was trying to let him hold a bit but so that dh was in actual control but ds wasnt happy with that, ive noticed he can now sit without bouncing when playing his ds for example although he does change position alot. Im so glad i found this forum it really helps me understand things if only dh wasnt adamant thats he just a boy and refusing to listen to anything else

On the few occasions i have taken ds shopping (he also has a food phobia, so this makes it even more difficult) i let him push the trolley, he does try to run with it or spin it around, i find it easier to try and correct this behaviour, rather than the constant running and skidding down the aisle, jumping, running, laying on the floor etc, etc.

You might find this site helpful, maybe your dh could have a read, it explains sensory behaviours quite well (scroll down the page a bit)

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

The smiling when you ask could simply be nervous smiling. Lots of children do it. Doesn't necessarily mean he knows what he is doing.

DS2 hasn't a clue - just reacts.

You could be describing ds1 and no, he doesn't know why he does it. I generally have the added complexity of him setting dd and ds2 off as well so end up with one who can't help himself and 2 that can't be punished as its not fair they can't do what he's doing.

Lately I've been giving a couple of warnings and if he still can't reign himself in he has to hold the trolley (pain in the arses steering with him yanking on it but at least I can keep him out of arms reach of the shelves).

We only recently discovered the term sensory seeker. He's quite hypermobile and clumsy so I had thought dyspraxia but OT says sensory issues.

Does your dh have any sort of habits, say a particular way of doing something, that you could ask him why he does it? I think even as an adult to ask why you do something is very hard to answer, unless the answer is "I was taught to do it."

eg. Dh finds it irritating that when I'm sitting still I'll often "jiggle" one of my legs. It's not a conscious decision for me to do it, and couldn't tell you why I do it.

Mine doesn't see that he's doing anything out of the ordinary.

Oh yes agree with Triggles on that too. Ds often gives the wrong reaction, its typical autism, ds doesnt understand facial expressions or feelings. He has little empathy and will laugh if someone hurts themselves or cry when i shout up the stairs 'dinners ready' as he feels im shouting therefore i must be angry with him!

He also does a 'false' laugh when he is nervous, so i could be telling him off and he will be laughing. He hates any kind of confrontation and really doesnt know how to react appropriately.

Oh
DD does that laughing / smiling/wrong reaction thing! I hadn't even thought it was to do with her other 'issues' I thought she was trying to wind me up

When I ask her why she does things,she often says
"because I just do"
or "because I don't want to"

(she's nearly four,often gets things backwards so I don't know what you can glean from that!)
but basically I think she just doesn't understand that she is 'doing anything out of the ordinary.

i see when i ask him why he does certain things like talk constatnly he shouts in a silly voice 'because i like it! i like talking! talk talk talk pizza face rasberries', (he always throws in random food references) Ds understands facial expressions he knows when someone is upset or angry he dosnt always care but he does know, in fact if i were to say im going to cry he would likely say go on then cry then like its amusing. He does say sorry if he hurts someone etc and dosnt like seeing his little brother upset so he does get all that. Ds is also doing a false laugh just now at anything he finds midly amusing its really over the top hahahaha laugh its a new thing hes just started and comes on when he sover excited.

Can i ask if the following rings a bell with anyone, im not sure how much your average 6 year old should 'follow' in terms of conversation and replying but i feel like ds anwers every i say back with either what? another question or with confusion even when he shouldnt be confused for eg he said he was bored i just said to him 'i noticed you have all your old lightening mcqueen cars out in your room why dont you play with them?' ds 'what cars' me 'the lightening mcqueen cars in your room' ds 'where abouts?' me 'in your room!' ds 'where abouts in my room?' me 'just on your floor' ds 'when did i do that' me 'i dont know' ds just looks at my blankly i say 'did you get out your cars toys ds' ds 'yeah' every conversation with ds is like that with a few good 'whats?' thrown in to he does this with everyone and alot of the time people just get fed up repeating and say 'oh dosnt matter ds' its worse when people try to make a joke like 'oh ds you can come tidy my house if you like' jokingly and he thinks they are being serious so keeps repeating questions like hes confused, so will say 'who me, when today? why?' if that makes sense

On the other hand he does get when we are messing about joking with him in a fun way

Yes I have conversations like that quite often.

Dd3 sensory seeks to, i was thinking about this yesterday. She is both hyper and hypo sensitive. If that is possible.

She is completly unable to verbalise why she does anything. The most i ever get is "I dunno"

latte - this may depress you, but DS1 still asks randomly connected questions at everything - he's nearly 10! Lose count of the number of times I have snapped back 'can you just do something once without questioning why'
DS1 has kind of given me 2 answers to some of his SPD traits. He is hypo sensitive - and has to be loud, noisy music and tv volume up high. He says that he can't stand silence. If there's no noise, he has to make it, whether its talking loudly or humming, making random noises.
He is also a 'spinner' and likes to be in a position where his head is lower - head between the knees, head on floor bottom in air etc. He told me that it wakes him up if he's gone sleepy.

'What' and why feature far to often in conversations with DD,it's bloody exhausting.

oh it does a little auntevil i was hoping he would pass this phase soon the constant questions drive me mad hes so hard to talk to because he just either answers back with a question, looks confused and laughs or completely ignores what ive said and responds with something totally random, he seems to be getting worse with his interupting too and just keeps repeating until he gets an answer or i end up shouting whatever comes first, how his teachers at school arnt seeing this is beyond me! also everything i say he turns back to food either by quickly giving his version of an answer then saying but im hungry or randomly shouting names of food out or telling me hes a food monster etc its constant though like he obsessed by food everyones commented on it nursery, school, friends and neighbours they find it amusing but they dont live with it

Ds is the same, he would respond as your ds does. I have to break language down into smaller instructions "go upstiars, brush your teeth, choose a book and get into bed" has to be translated to "go upstairs" once that is done "brush your teeth" then "choose a book" then after that "get into bed".

Ds also takes language quite literally, if someone told him jokily "you can come and tidy my house" he would be asking when and how was he going to get there and was there house in a mess!

People often think that ds is being funny when he comes out with random things, he isnt being funny, he is serious!

Most of the time, no my son doesn't know why he does the sensory seeking things that he does. However, he does know that he rubs his foot against the opposite ankle because his socks 'feel funny' and hates brushing his teeth because his gums are 'too ticklish'/'toothpaste tastes disgusting'.

Just had one of those random conversations with ds!

Ds "can i turn the light on in my room, even if it still light outside"

Me "course you can"

Ds "but why"

Me "why what"

Ds "why would i turn the light on, if its still light outside"

Me "i dont know, you tell me"

Ds "Do you remember when you said you saw a man in the garden"

Me "no i dont, when did i say that"

Ds "when we had a karaoke machine"

Me "I have never seen a man in the garden"

Ds "but you thought you did"

Me "sorry i really cant remember thinking that"

Ds "why are there no channels on the TV"

Me "because the TV isnt on"

Ds then walks off upstairs!

hey, people who understand my whole life!

DD is a sensory seeker extraordinaire...she's usually upside down or lying on the floor with her feet in the air at home, she strokes clothes in shops, she licks unusual surfaces (mirrors in shops, christmas trees) wants to touch smelly things (dog shit was her finest hour) has to have her hand in water if she sees it (made a recent trip to Dovedale rather interesting )

if you ask her why she does it, it's usually because she likes it.

or it'll go like this

me: DD, why did you poke that?

DD: what?

me: This

DD: i didn't

me: look, i can see your fingermarks in them

DD: i don't remember

and tbh, i believe her. she can't remember doing half of it, she owns up usually and we look for something similar she CAN play with/poke

both the previous posts sound very much like ds and 'i dont remember' is his favourite line! his random coversations are drawn out even more sore by his slight stammer or his 'no no no' when he gets the wrong word, i try to stay patient but i do struggle if im honest

Im really appreciating these replies makes me feel likes its not just my ds who can act odd ive had so many worries bottled up for years, can i also ask if anyones dc act very silly often?, alot of the time when i try to talk to ds he opens his eyes really wide or closes them tight forces his toungue out so pulling a very silly face and gets right in my face while laughing or replying in a loud voice 'I DONT REMEMBER' or 'BECAUSE I LIKE IT' the only way to get him to stop it is to completely ignore him if i say anything it fuels it further and he gets more boistorus

LOL unchartered. I have frequent conversations with DS where I ask him to stop doing something (licking, flicking, stroking, kicking, rubbing - then add noun of choice) . He says 'I'm not' whilst still doing it. Then conversation goes back and forth, me watching him do it, him denying it. Then he stops, and tells me quite seriously 'see, I told you I'm not doing it, what are you, stupid? (or blind, deaf, an idiot etc etc'
Latte - DS usually on pulls faces when he has decided not to answer a question. So I say 'what do you want for dinner' , he replies 'look at this' then does something gross with his face, usually involving 'dead man's eyes' or his snake like tongue, that cuts out the middle man (fingers) when picking and eating the contents of his nose. [tmi alert]

Oh yes, i get the Bart Simpson 'it wasnt me', when it obviously was him! "look i wrote my name" pointing to his bedside cabinet with his name written in felt pen. "we draw on paper, not furniture" - "it wasnt me"

We get a mixture of very silly immature behaviour and other times ds can be very sensible and adult like.

Latte - yes, DS2 does that as well. And goodness, those conversations look similar to those I have with DS2 on an hourly (or more) basis.

ds is back to school today thankfully so my ears a getting a little break and a in peace!, one thing that people get irritated with by ds is his need for everything to happen NOW his first auto response to anything you talk about doing is 'today' no not today ds 'tomorrow' 'when!' hes so impatient and hes coming across as so cheeky all the time lots of 'so whats' and 'i dont care' coming out just now its behaviour like this that makes me think its likely no more than sensory needs he has ive reading like crazy but he was playing shops the other day and i even did the sally anne test on him after reading it on here which he passed

do you use any visual reminders at home latte ?

we have picture cue cards on a white board - a schedule we've cobbled together.

at the moment, it's sectioned off into 3 parts, to name the day and whether it's school or not, then what's happening after school (ie trampolining, bath night Tv night etc) and then a section for 'events' where we use number of sleeps to count down to big events happening soon

it really works for us