Immature or special needs

[2outof3aintbad]

My DD is 11. A couple of years ago she started showing signs of tics, verbal and physical. She had an overbite which has been corrected and since they have pretty much disappeared. It was only mild in the first place. The main problem I have with her now is she has some very odd behaviours and is very immature which is becoming more obvious as she gets older.
When she is, for example, on the computer, she seems lost in her own little world and she will make noises, fidget, grimace, that sort of thing. She's very clingy but will go for a sleep over no problem. She gets frustrated if you don't understand immediately something she is trying to explain. She will repeat things she's heard on tv. Or that someone has said. She often doesn't get jokes apart from very obvious ones. She won't wear buttons...she doesn't fear them just "someone might see me wearing buttons"
There are lots more 'odd' things she does too numerous to go into.
Other than that, she is doing fine in school. Nothing has been noticed by her teachers. I think she may control her behaviour at school because sometimes when she comes home it's like she has to have an outburst of pent up sound. Another quick example.... If she's reciting a poem she could be on the last verse and if someone interrupts she will HAVE to start again.
I don't know if she has any clinical/special needs problem or like I've always said, she is just quirky. She is starting comprehensive school in sept. and I'm worried she is going to stand out as 'different'. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Its difficult to say, it could be either. The important thing is that you have concerns, write a list and go to your GP and ask for a referral to a paed, they can then confirm.

I agree with claw. You have concerns so that should be taken seriously. Be confident and persistent as I felt very much like you at the start of my journey and so far have found dd has got a speech and language ability of a 6.5 year old child. She's 11. Also she has dyslexia.

My dd school has not been helpful as she's so compliant but bursts when she comes out

Good luck!

Ps your dd sounds just like mine. I'm sure once you start your list of her ways it will start to build a picture.

Thanks both. That's a good idea, never thought of listing everything. Just worried about upsetting her as she thinks she is completely normal. I don't mean that as it sounds! But it's almost like she has a little bit of lots of things, but not one thing you could pin down. I'll make a list and go from there. I just don't want to upset her over nothing? Littlelegsmum, how has your dd accepted that she is 'different'? Has she just got on with it? Not sure how to approach my dd if we get as far as seeing a dr. Also academically she is bright, not gifted but average and above, so no speech/language problems. Etc.

Personally i wouldnt talk about her in front of her. You can go to the GP, without your dd and explain your concerns. You only need to take your dd if any assessment actual involve her. If you want to talk about her, if she is capable you could ask her to sit outside. Its not nice for anyone to sit in a room, while adults discuss them as if they are not there.

Have you asked your dd about how she feels, does she feel 'different'? does she have any worries?

Ds is academically extremely bright and potentially 'gifted' (although he doesnt perform to 'gifted' standard), he has ASD and speech/language problems etc They are very subtle and not glaringly obvious. If you were to meet ds, you would probably think he didnt have ASD or any speech and language problems. Im not saying that your dd does or does not have any difficulties, just that sometimes they can be very subtle differences and not easily picked up iyswim.

Claw4- when she had tics a while back, once I mentioned it (it was out of the blue and rolling eyes so shocked me) and she just got embarrassed and hid her face, so I didn't mention it again, until I just said to her why do u hide your face when you roll your eyes and she was shocked I knew what she was doing. I just said, if your worried we can talk and left it at that. She never said anything more to me But she gets easily embarrassed and I just don't know how she will take it. As for her feeling different I don't think she does. One example, she has gained a little weight over the last year as she is food mad, her sister called her fat once and she turned to me and said, I'm not fat am I mummy. I replied your beautiful. But as horrible as it sounds she is overweight and can't see that (maybe that's a healthy way to be for an 11 year old and maybe a good thing) she seems to have no self awareness with looks or her own strange behaviour. I think if it comes to her seeing a dr. I'll just have to talk to her about it. Not sure about speech problems etc, certainly nothing obvious but I suppose that's for the experts to find out..

Just been looking into a few things. Could she possibly have undiagnosed PDD-NOS? Could she have gotten away with having this disorder for so long! Tho in truth I've had concerns for a couples of years but nothing obvious enough to see dr. Like I said becoming more apparent as she gets older.

Ds has tics and little self awareness, its been easier for me as he was younger and i didnt have to explain much to him.

You know your dd better than anyone and how to approach the subject with her. Ds notices he is different, but only when he compares himself to his peers ie he thinks they are smarter or stronger than him and he has noticed he doesn eat the same as everyone else for example. He doesnt always say outright, but i pick up on things, like him saying things such as 'when he is 10, he is going to eat meat', so he obviously notices that other people eat meat and he doesnt. Noticing your differences can have a big impact of self esteem, if your dd has low self esteem maybe she is noticing, but just doesnt know how to put it into words.

It doesnt hurt to read up on what you feel your dd might have. But first step is GP. Good luck.

Thanks. Will go to GP FIRST, see what they say

Hi 2, I just wanted to say that i have a Dd who has recently been DXed with ASD she is 9. she has little self awareness but gets very upset if people talk about her in front of her.

As far as she is concerned, she is perfect and its the rest of the world that is weird[her words]

She has had several stims/tics such as throat clearing, coughing and lip licking but these have come and gone depending on her stress levels.

She copes easily with academics at school but not with the friendship/social stuff. Before I moved her to a new school she could go days with out talking to an adult and found it very difficult to ask for help, her new school have put lots of strategies in place to help her cope.

ASD often gets missed in girls [not saying thats what your Dd has], many people assume that just because they are not rain man or rolling on the floor screaming then they cant be autistic. Girls present in more subtle ways than boys but their difficulties are just as real.

FWIW, I agree with not taking her to the initial appointment. We always asked if we needed to take DD3 to appointments and quite often it wasn't necessary.

Good luck when you see your GP

thanks for that, she sounds very similar to my dd. I have today booked an appointment for dr and managed to get in, in the morning. so I have made a list of all the things I think is her odd behaviour and see what the doc says. in a way glad to know that it may be something other than her being strange which means we can get help! I'll post tomorrow with news from drs.

Good luck, make sure you ask your GP for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. That is who you need to see to find out what is going on with your Dd.

Will look out for your post tomorrow

Thanks so much for everyone's wise words. Have not been down this route before so hopefully will go better armed. Would anyone know of a good book with info about this sort of problem?

Sorry, 2outof3. I keep losing the threads I've posted in!! Anyway, dd knows she struggles educationally but is completely oblivious and in her own world for everything else. So much so that we have to constantly remind her where we are and how to behave!

Good luck at the doctors :)

Been to the drs. Not sure how promising it was but she is going to send dd details and my list to specialist. Then phone me 'if' he gets back to her? Not sure what that means but fingers crossed. Thanks again folks. :)

Sounds like a referral to me 2, give her a few days and then ring the surgery to find out the name of the person your Dd has been referred to, when you have that, ring the specialists secretary and find out if they have recieved the referral and how long it will be until your Dd is seen.

If they say they are not putting her on the list, go back to the GP and insist.

Sadly, if you just sit back either it will take ages or nothing will happen. You have to be a pain.

You have done the hardest part, getting the ball rolling, now you have to keep it moving forward.

Well done for today and good luck

Thanks Ineed, I hope it is the start of some help. I always worry I making a fuss about nothing but for dd's sake I've got to toughen up! :)
Dr. Didn't seem too hopeful because dd can act perfectly normal when she's not at home. But I'm hoping a specialist will see the signs contained in my list I've written up.

If you google the Autism society they have lots of information that can be useful to take to GP's with you. Remember that GP's know about as much about autism as we do, so you just need to convince them to refer you.