What to do when school tells you your child has SEN but you know different?

[chalkbored]

Sorry for rather meandering title!

My DS is 5.6 and in Reception. He has fitted in well, lots of friends, popular etc. However, since his second day in this school I have been told he has SEN. It started when they asked me if his hearing was OK on day 2. I was a little surprised and confirmed it was fine and asked why they were concerned. They said he sometimes didn't appear to follow an instruction properly and would I get it checked out. I did - he was fine.

Next they asked me to get his sight checked 'just in case.' I did. He was fine.

And then I had a meeting with the teacher and she said she had 'concerns' as he wasn't too interested in reading and was struggling to 'blend' words and she wanted to place him on the SEN register. I agreed to this as was told he would receive lots of one to one support. Which he did.

Next up - she tells me she is concerned about his speech and comprehension and they wanted to place him on School Action Plus and refer him to a speech therapist. I agreed although I laughed and said the reason he said 'pwease' as opposed to 'please' was because he was 5 and he would grow out of it [ which he certainly did so, just a fortnight later. ] We went to the appointment and as I predicted, he was completely within the normal range with a good vocabulary and good understanding. The teacher was taken aback when I told her he was just fine and there would be no follow up appointment.

So, I have had his sight, hearing and speech checked. Normal. He is on school action plus still and I am told he still struggles to blend words and read. His maths/science/logic etc is very good and he is above average in these 'topics' - he has a wide vocabulary, he speaks perfectly normally, he can tell you all about what he has done/is looking forward to doing and he has lots of interests in general. There are no concerns about his behaviour.

My take is that he is 5, in Reception and yes, of COURSE he will become bored or distracted when being made to read. He doesn't want to read and yes, he struggles with it. He wants to be building a rocket or running outside. Does this automatically mean he has SEN? My gut feeling is NO...and I KNOW instinctively that he doesn't. My view is quite simple... he has to learn to read so he needs encouragement and a boot up the arse more than likely - and, given time, he will get there.

They won't take him off the register and I am getting fed up with being taken to one side around 3 times a week after school for ' a quick word ' in which they tell me he couldn't blend the word 'fizz' or ' are you actually reading with him every night because you haven't completed the book ? ' and so on and so forth. I can feel myself becoming exasperated with the whole thing and sooner or later, DS will notice that he is being treated differently.

I suppose it could sound like I'm in denial but I'm pretty sure I'm not.

So - WWYD? Insist he is taken off the register? Keep going along with these daft requests for hearing tests and speech therapy appointments?

Thank you for reading.

now ordinarily I would tell people to take schools concerns v seriously, but from what you describe it does sound like they have very high expectations of reception aged children, and obviously if SALT was happy with his language then that is v reassuring indeed. In terms of the appointments I wouldn't worry, the main bases have been covered already, and of course as the parent you can decide if any further medical request is reasonable. In terms of the register - I'm a bit on the fence on that one. I would cross fingers and hope that next years teacher is more helpful.

It sounds to me as though the school are really trying hard to help your DS and additional support is quite often very hard to come by.

I wouldn't think he will notice any difference in how he is treated and, if in time, any needs present thmselves you will be so grateful for their intervention.

Is it possible for them to get someone else involved to see what their opinions are. I'm not sure if this is Ed Psyc area.

Keep accepting the support though. They won't be offering it if they don't think he will benefit.

Ask the school to write down all their concerns. Take the list to the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrition. Give the paed's report to the school. Then they'll back off.

Get him assessed externally (like you had the salt). Go to GP, ask for a referral. Go there, explain everything, have him assessed, go to school armed with the results of that.

If you ignore the requests, say that you don't want them fussing and grabbing you for a chat, then they'll probably back off. Tell them they can do what they like in school, but you don't want to be involved.
You can't insist he's taken off the register, that's the school's decision.
I have a child in class at the moment whom we believe has SN, the parent is informed as the requirements state, but they are uninvolved in any of the support as they don't believe we are right. So we manage without her.

I should say that, in terms of support and expectations, the school are very enthusiastic and on the ball. He is in a class of only 14 pupils and it is an 'outstanding' rural school. On the one hand I am grateful for all this help he has... lots of sessions with a TA < the class has two TAs, even with only 14 children > and lots of one to ones.

But we just see things so differently. He does NOT fit the criteria for SAP... I know this.

I suppose I should just let them get on with it. And refuse any further requests for outside help... the SALT had zero concerns and was perplexed as to why he was there.

So they are probably outstanding because of excellent teaching, high expectations and good early interventions. If he was at a less good school, they probably wouldn't be bothering about him as much, especially if there were 30 in the class and others with more significant needs.

He isn't my PFB either incidentally so I am able to see objectively what the issue is. And that issue is he would rather hang off the back of a chair than blend another word. And this is where I come unstuck.... a little boy of 5 MUST have SEN if he is not interested in reading and is struggling to blend some words? Why can't he just be a 5 year old boy who is struggling to blend some words?

Thanks for the posts.

yes, sounds like they are hot on preventative action, a rather more common scenario on here is for children to get to 7/8, struggling with reading, and only then to possibly concede some outside help might be needed, from what you describe it sounds like their intentions are impeccable.

fallen - yes, they now have very good early interventions after an 'incident' a few years back when they missed something significantly. And the head teacher is the SEN co -ordinator.

Maybe I should be less sighing and 'what NOW? ' in my demeanour and more 'on board.' But like I said, I know he doesn't have SEN. So I feel like I'm humouring them. And then I think ' well, I'm not a teacher, what the hell do I know? ' but sometimes you just... know don't you?

Ask for a formal meeting rather than ad hoc comments , to look at the whole picture. If any external agency is involved, even on a wait and see, occasioanl review basis, it is SA+. Be pleased he is on their radar but ask to keep it low key once the obvious have been ruled out and review in September.

Follow their concerns to their logical conclusions and insist on an educational psychologist doing a formal assessment and making a formal report.

I still think you should get a written list of their concerns.

He should be able to blend CVC words by the end of reception, so that's one of the benchmarks they are using to grade him, and his class has half the number of children that most EY contain, and a huge amount of support for those children.
I can see why they are bothered TBH, especially if intensive support hasn't worked well for him so far.

Being the parent of a DD in YR who has SEN I would have welcomed the intervention by her teacher, but...I can understand your frustration.

Go along with them, go along to appointments etc and enjoy the extra attention and tuition, they can only benefit your DS in the long run.

I think I'm bothered because I know I'm right. That sounds wanky I know. I'm not daft, I'd know if I was kidding myself here! And I think to myself ' what happened to a child being below average in reading/writing SIMPLY because they are below average in reading/writing? ' Why must this mean he has SEN?

Their concerns are..

he couldn't hold a pencil correctly < he now can > ... I did tell them that he would be able to do so and just needed a little time as he was 4 .

Sequencing - they would ask him about his weekend and he would tell them all about it but sometimes in the wrong order and he would need prompting. Therefore, I was asked to keep a weekend diary so they could go through that with him. I see no problems with his 'sequencing', merely some confusion on whether he had gone swimming on the Saturday or Sunday for example.

Word blending - he struggles to blend words. Again, he has improved. Because he has got older and more able.

He couldn't hop on one leg. He now can. Again, because he is older.

I absolutely don't want to sound like I am resentful - I hope I don't. And I can fully understand that if he did have SEN or any other needs, then yes, I'd be over the moon that it was being dealt with so quickly and with such zeal.

A part of me thinks it's great- they're so on the ball! the other part of me thinks ' leave him alone now please. He is just fine '

If I've understood it correctly , he is one of the older ones in the class but seems to be lagging behind what is expected of the majority of Reception children. He may well not have SEN as such but could benefit from some short term specialist intervention or one to one, for speech/language or just to explore his best way of learning and getting him interested. Having an IEP and being on SA or SA+ isn't necessarily a long term measure, lots of kids will go on and off the list at different stages.

Liz- yes, his birthday is in December so he is in the middle/upper end of it age wise.

I think that's it.... finding the way to get him interested and the best way of learning for him. Which they try and do, to be fair. He adore all things to do with Greek Mythology and is very knowledgeable about it and they try and harness this interest with him.

Keep an open mind for a bit longer.

He may or may not have SEN. You can't say for sure he doesn't.

School are doing all the right things. Trust them for a bit longer.

You are very, very, very lucky to have a school which is so on the ball.

Come September a new class teacher may have a totally different take on the situation, so to avoid alienating a school that obviously care so much about your child's welfare I'd personally bite my tongue for a few more weeks

There are a few SEN's that are developmentally related & can't be formally diagnosed before 7-8, due to summat called "age of maturation". Basically all kids mature at different rates as you know, and it's impossible for even experienced clinicians to tell before this stage whether issues are down to slightly delayed development of an individual child or a more long term problem.

Dyslexia and audio processing disorder being the two that come to mind, given what you have decsribed. In both instances though, appropriate strategies can be put in place to help a child long before diagnosis time & are of the nature that benefit ALL children, not just those who will eventually be given a formal "label" iyswim.

Dyslexia & poor executive function runs very strongly in my family, yet I've asked my son's school to delay formal assessment until my lad is 8 to take account of his slightly delayed development in other areas. (he was a little slower than some to walk etc).

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that 5 is just too young to tell, but the extra help and consideration he's getting is priceless. It's much better for a child that does have mild SEN or is just a little immature to get a little extra tlc from teachers at this age, rather than it be assumed they are naughty or insolent iyswim. I wouldn't worry yet, as time will sort it out either way.

Surely the point about average expectations is that a proportion of children will be above the average and a proportion below it, and some others will actually be average. Just because the school has high expectations, I would be very fed up if they assumed my perfectly ordinary, a bit below average child had special needs. It's just maths.

I think your problem is the difference between SEN and SN. Which causes all sorts of bother ime.

SN is Special Needs, which more or less equates to learning disability, and would generally mean A Diagnosis Of Something.

SEN is Special Educational Need, which means that the kid is underachieving in some areas at least and they can't explain it by having English as a second language, or absence or anything else. So they get extra help (which is all SA and SAP are, after all) and by definition any kid on SA or SAP is "on the SEN register". The government requires schools to put kids onto SA if they don't progress without it, and they are required to put them onto SAP if they don't make the required progress at SA. It's not a diagnosis and it's not a label, it's an educational requirement. Lots of kids go onto the SEN register and off again without ever getting or needing a diagnosis and often without having a "condition" to diagnose. It does not equate to Special Needs. But even sodding Ofsted doesn't understand the distinction.

Where you get problems, I think, is that the huge majority of kids who move from SA to SAP have got SN as well as SEN, and the next step after SAP is a Statement and though there are kids with Statements without formal diagnoses it's a tiny handful and only because their parents have fought tooth and nail on their behalf. So once a kid is not progressing on SA, it's easy (but lazy) to assume that "there's something" ie an undiagnosed condition and the parent is therefore in denial.

The thing is though - maybe the school is a bit too excellent. Maybe their expectations are unreasonable, and in another school your DS would be a statistical blip that wouldn't be picked up and as he matures he'll just naturally fall back into line with his peer groups. I do think a lot of achievement in Reception and Y1 is dependant on emotional maturity and that's not something you can deliver through putting them on the SEN register, it just comes when it comes. But then again, you don't want him falling behind his friends, because he will notice that just as much or more than getting extra help and it could be hard to keep up. In your shoes I'd leave him "on the register" and let him continue to get extra help, but resist attempts to push it further than that. If SALT hasn't picked anything up, any possible "condition" is very subtle and would be hard to diagnose at this stage anyway. See what happens in Y1, after the long Summer holidays when he'll be months older and have a new teacher with a fresh pair of eyes. If they get to know him and share the same concerns, then ask for a Paed referral.

I think though that teachers in general talk about expected levels rather than average levels. For example Level 2 is whats expected at the end of key stage 1 but not necessarily the average .

My Dts were young and immature starting school and took a while to do things like blending and focussing on things for longer than 10 seconds. .However I KNEW that there was no issue with DT1 . The school put down any issues they had to them being young and immature in reception.

Roll forward 7 years and DT1 is flying so his inability to do certain things at 4 were related to him being young, a boy, immature etc but Dt2 was diagnosed with Aspergers recently.

Just saying that in some cases issues do resolve themselves or even were really not an issue at all but some dont. The thing is that I always kNEW that DT1 was fine and Dt2 was the one with issues.

However to be on the safe side I think I would go with the flow for now. DT1 really came into his own in Yr1 so if there is no issue it will soon become clear and if there is (and it doesnt sound like it from what you say) he will have got help early

It sounds as though they think he might have a (very mild?) dyslexia / auditory processing 'thing'. In practice, mild means immature in those areas.

Now, many dc grow out of stuff like that, so with home education it's possible to educate around the limits wait till they're 'ready' for reading or whatever, and then do a bit of intensive catch-up. In a school context though, delayed literacy brings a host of secondary difficulties which means the catching up process is often hard, expensive and prolonged. In the UK education system, even relatively minor early reading problems can be catastrophic.

So, 'special needs', permanent 'special educational needs' and short bursts of intensive 'school action plus' are not necessarily the same.