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SN children

Any knowledge about dyslexia?

14 replies

macwoozy · 22/02/2006 19:03

Going on from a thread today, it occured to me that my autistic ds might be dyslexic as well. I've realised in the last few months that he's learnt to read very simple words by memory alone, but he finds it impossible to try and work it out phonetically. Simple spellings are a nightmare for him. Even though he's in year 1, he just can't seem to 'hear' the different sounds of any letter in a word. Because he has a very short attention span, and has no motivation to do any school work, I always put his difficulties down to that. I just wondered how common it is for a HFA child to also be dyslexic, or has he just been unlucky to be burdened with this as well, assuming he is dyslexic that is. This is just going to have such a strong effect on his self esteem. I read today that dyslexia is inherited but there doesn't seem to be anyone in either family who suffers from this.

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mixedemotions123 · 23/02/2006 06:49

macwoozy, I could have written your thread, it sounds so much like the situation that we have with my 6yr old ds. He finds reading and writing very difficult. He has global development delay as an after effect of meningitis when he was 3weeks old. He will not co-operate at home in anyway when we try to help him with it. At school, he is co-operative, his attention span is started to improve(over the last few months). He had an ADI in dec2005, he has atypical autism, and the consultant feels that he is dyslexic, but due to everything else, wouldn't say how severe it is. He has just learned to spell and read MY and THE, which is great, but obviously not at the level of the rest of his class, bless him. Hope your ds goes on to do well, I always feel that the most important thing is that they are happy. And you are right, I think in my sons case it has effected his self esteem and his belief that he can do well. It is an uphill struggle trying to keep him motivated, but he is beginning to try to do things that he previously could not do. Did the school do the DEST test on him in Yr R? Is he aggressive when he comes home from school if you don't mind me asking?

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macwoozy · 23/02/2006 14:40

Hi mixedemotions, for your ds.
No tests have been done because it was only yesterday when reading another thread that it occured to me that ds could be dyslexic as well. For the last year he has been reading very simple books so I've not been concerned at all, until that is when spellings were introduced along with harder words. He's very unco-operative, and I just hate it when I get his spelling book out, because it always ends in tears and he gets so worked up. But it's only occured to me that him trying to do 6 spellings each time with his inabilty to do phonetics must be like being asked to write 6 lots of 4 random letters that make no sense at all.

He can be very aggressive after school, and I believe most of the time it's because someone has upset him. His anger can last for hours, I've never seen anything like it. On the occasions I've mentioned it to the school to find out if anything had upset him, sure enough there's always been some incident at school, he just finds it so hard to cope with his emotions, I feel so sorry for him. Is you ds aggressive after school, and how do you manage it?

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mixedemotions123 · 23/02/2006 17:17

yes, my ds comes home from school like a storm through the house. A couple of weeks ago, he had a particularly bad afternoon. He got upset and aggressive with his 4yr old brother, so I put him in the dining room, to try to seperate them and also give him room to calm down. He kicked a hole in the door, and continued being aggressive for the next half hour or so. When he snapped out of his temper, he began sobbing and told me that a boy in his class had held the door and would not let him get out of a room at school. School had no idea of the effect that this had on him, it was only when he got home that he let it all out. It is so hard when your children have these kind of things going on around them, things that other kids wouldn't worry about are so much more frightening for them aren't they. We have come to know when my ds is going to get aggressive now, as he calls me and my dh by our first names, and know by the tone of his voice that things are getting too much. In the past, I used to try and reason with him, explain the reasons for whatever was bothering him, but it only seemed to make him more aggressive as he would never listen to reason. In the last month he has started taking medication (Risperidone) which seems to be making him much more relaxed, and I also know that when he does lose it, he seems to calm down alot quicker if I leave him alone, in a different room etc. I don't know wether all schools operate the DEST test routinly in yr r. It was something that his whole class had. It may be worth asking.

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macwoozy · 23/02/2006 18:02

Yeh I will mention it.

I've had no holes in doors yet, but I can see things heading that way. He's been referred to CAMHS for his aggression, but it's something like a 5 month waiting list. I totally agree with the school not understanding how what could be considered a small annoyance for some children can be absolutely turmoil for our childen. In fact only yesterday the school rang to say he was complaining of a headache, it turns out that a boy had pushed him twice during playtime which affected him all afternoon, he just hasn't got the necessary communication skills to explain what's upset him so much, so unless the teachers see this behaviour during playtime they are none the wiser

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mixedemotions123 · 23/02/2006 19:06

That is what we get too. In school they say that he is always happy, sometimes anxious but nothing too significant. I think its more a case (with my ds definatley) that he also finds it hard to voice his fears, for whatever reason, and so bottles up the anxiety. I frequently make a point of asking his teacher if everything was ok during the day when I pick him up from school. Quite often she says "yes everything was fine" only for my ds to immediatley say "no, hit me" or " was nasty to me". Its almost as if he feels confident enough to tell the teacher when I am around, but not always when I am not. One thing we have asked the class teacher to do is, whenever possible for her/him to spend 5-10 mins at the end of the school day to have a chat with him alone, to see how his day has been, and hopefully he eventually will feel confident enough to say if anything has happened to upset him. HOPEFULLY this may happen, and HOPEFULLY that way we may know in advance what has caused the aggression. We will have to wait and see on that one. Another Idea is if the school could give him somewhere to go if he feels anxious in a situation, but doesn't feel able to say so. I.E medical room, library, just someway of escaping from an uncomfortable situation, that he is in control of. I am not trying to teach you to suck eggs, so please forgive me if i go on a bit, we are very new to ASD and all the explanations that goes with it for the way our children feel and behave.

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mixedemotions123 · 23/02/2006 19:19

One thing thing that you may find useful, I brought a CDRom from ebay called LEXING word games, which has a dyslexia test included if you wanted to use it. I have managed to get my ds to spend 20mins on one occasion (really rare for him) and he really enjoyed it. The website address incase you are interested is [email protected]. I think it was only about £5. Really good with positive reinforcers as the correct answer brings up pictures that you can make into stickers/ jigsaws etc.

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macwoozy · 23/02/2006 21:01

I hope for your ds that the 10 min chat will help, I expect it might take some time but eventually he could well open up, good idea. I have to drag information out of ds, he never willingly talks about anything connected to school/people. Sometimes he might mention an incident at school but hours or even days later. When my ds was in a SN's nursery, at the end of each day they'd write in his book about anything that occurred during the day, which was great for me because I could then at least underatnd why he might be feeling particularly anxious or aggressive. Twice, I've asked his school if they could do the same thing, but it seems thats too much trouble for them, although they've been really wonderful with ds, but I don't think they realise how important and beneficial it would be for both of us if I had some sort of idea on how his day went. If I've got this bit of information I might be able to encourage him to talk about things, without this info I'm blimen clueless.
Thanks for that site, sounds promising, I'll take a look

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mixedemotions123 · 24/02/2006 12:17

We were unable to get my ds in a SN nursery/playgroup setting as "No spaces were avaialble, so we didn't start with a home school book until infants. It does help, but it seems very rare that the class teacher writes anything or reads my comments anyway. I really hope that you manage to find some proper reassurance and help with your ds, as we are, I know you will keep battling to get the help that he needs, but lets face it, we shouldn't have to be the ones trying to find the answers particularly Re;education. We have enough to contend with when they are not in school. Sorry, Ive got my moaning head on today

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macwoozy · 24/02/2006 13:04

Couldn't agree more with you mixedemotions with lack of support. Thank god for MN which is a great source for information and support, and by god I need it, but there's something wrong when it seems that the only place to gain this information is on a forum like this. This support and advice should be handed to us without a fight by professionals doing what should be part of their job. TBH I've been more fortunate than some, but after reading so many threads whereby parents of SN children are at their wits end trying to get the help they so rightly deserve, makes me incredibly angry and frustrated.

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mixedemotions123 · 25/02/2006 06:30

I know what you mean. The answer is always the same old story, FUNDING.That always makes my blood boil. Does your ds have a statement? We have recently re-applied as they refused to assess him in yr r. I don't know what we will do if they refuse him again. He starts juniors in sept this year, and his teacher told me last week that he is really struggling to follow the curriculum in yr 2! Mums net has been a godsend to me as well. My ds was finally diagnosed in Dec2005, my sister said that she does not believe that he is on asd, and that he just needs his bum smacked as he is spoilt. In a lot of ways mn is a friend even though I have only recently joined.

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MeerkatsUnite · 25/02/2006 09:02

mixedemotions123,

I wish you the very best of luck re the reapplying for a statement. Don't give up the fight for such a thing. You need such a document, your son will continue to struggle otherwise. No statement equals no support. I would say that if they refuse, appeal their crass decision. IPSEA are very good in this regard and could help you further - their web address is www.ipsea.org.uk. They specialise in helping families getting the child's educational needs met.

Your sister is in denial of your son's autism.

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mixedemotions123 · 25/02/2006 10:14

thanks meers. You do question yourself sometimes when everyone else seems to be brushing things under the carpet. We all owe it to our children to face up to what there problems are, otherwise who will fight their corner? nobody wants to be told that their little ones have special needs, and you always get the "think yourself lucky, things could have been much worse". of course we do, but that doesn't mean that we can pretend that there is no problem,and therefore deny our kids the support that they need. Sorry I'm on my soap box again. Macwoozy, I feel awful as you started this thread to try to get advice for your little ds, I really do hope that you can find the answers that you need, and things will turn out for the best for you and your family XX

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macwoozy · 25/02/2006 12:32

Mixedemotions that's what MN is for, so you step up on your soap box whenever you want

Ds is in year 1 now, it wasn't until the end of year R that the school realised that ds needed a statement. I should have listened to the wise words of many MN's when they said I should push for it instead because schools will just prolong the procedure if they're the ones applying, and god were they right. I have a meeting March 2nd with school, so I'm praying that I'm finally going to hear if they've agreed to assess. The school says that it's taken much longer than anticipated to get all the relevant evidence. He already has a 1-1 funded by the school, but like you we are more concerned with when he goes up to juniors. If they fail, I am getting on the case straight away. I'll be fuming it he it's not succesful because the EP and SALT report prove beyond doubt that he won't progress without one.
I sincerely hope you're going to get somewhere this time with the statement, if he's struggling in year 2, how on earth is he going to cope in the juniors.
at your sisters attitude, that's not going to help you or ds with stupid comments like that.

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mixedemotions123 · 26/02/2006 08:14

thanks macwoozy, i really appreciate your support. I have just been typing my reply to you (a bit like a 6 page essay), pressed a wrong key somewhere and lost it all.

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