Hi
I will apologise now for the length of this, need to get it all straight in my head and could really do with advice on the best way forward.
I am sending myself round and round in circles trying to work out what my next move should be.
Anyone who was on the Friday thread last week probably already knows my latest boring tale of woe, but for those that don't:
Despite the request for SA etc being from me and not the school, LEA called the SENCO to complain that my amendments were unworkable and too extensive and to ask her to speak to me and get me to change them. 
Went in to basically be told that the LEA are refusing to quantify and/or specify training/qualifications of personnel working with ds, even on developing his emotional literacy and working on social skills and language. They also told me that the statement I produced is too prescriptive and if I persist with it, no school in the borough will take him (subtle threat implied that that includes them).
They also tried to tell me that he has miraculously got over almost all his issues since the statementing process started (application only went in at the end of November and SA was finished in Feb) and no longer needs the support the professionals said he did. SO apparently my ds has been completely cured of having autism since February then!
They even backtracked on saying he needs a laptop full time - when it was them that requested it in their SA report! 
Finally managed to wheedle out of them that his statement comes with no funding and the bottom line (not stated directly of course) is that they don't want to stump up to properly support him. All the support he has had so far has been free, as in, no charge to the school.
They also dropped the bombshell that as soon as his statement is final, he loses his 1:1 autism teacher, who he has seen once a week for about 18 months now and has built up a really good relationship with - because they don't work with statemented children. Instead they would offer advice and support to a TA - but they refuse that to accept that the TA/LSA should be trained and experienced in working with children who have an ASD. So no matter what happens, the provision he will get will be of a lower standard than what he currently receives. Apparently this is due to the Inclusion Team's funding and policies. I was then informed that 'coincidentially' the school need his ASD teacher to work with another younger child in the school (despite the fact ds only sees her once a week for 45 minutes). The EP's report indicated that this session should continue and I had also been told by his ASD teacher that she is keeping his case next year for secondary transition and she had told her bosses that it would be detrimental to his mental health if she didn't. School contacted her boss, who then said his teacher cannot make that call and he won't be seeing her anymore once his statement is final. 
Absolutely ridiculous, how on earth did they come up with a policy for involvement that says that once a clear need has been identified for a child via 1:1 contact and then proven through SA they then remove that support and replace it with someone less qualified and experienced. It makes no logical sense at all.
This all happened the day before the half term holiday started.
First stop was to try and call Parent Partnership, as coincidentally had been told good things about them by another parent only the night before. Their line was dead and obviously they aren't their in holidays.
Next call was to our EP, who is lovely and really 'for' ds. Unfortunately she said she could not say that the emotional literacy sessions can only be carried out specifically by an inclusion teacher, but she did agree that the school was wrong that this role could be carried out by a TA with just one day's ASD awareness training, as per all staff in the school. She suggested I look into what training is available for TA/LSAs and gave me a couple of numbers to call (again can't reach them till after the holiday) and said I should make some concessions where I am happy to on the statement and then ask them to re-issue, then when they re-issue ask for a meeting with everyone around one table to thrash out a final statement we all agree on.
She's great and agreed that dh and I have been more than reasonable, not asked for too much or for anything that ds doesn't need and isn't mentioned in the SA reports and have worked hard to keep a good working relationshio with all parties. She also said that, whether the school like it or not, the SA was carried out by professionals such as herself and the reports stand as a record of ds's needs, they cannot change that without going to AR and asking for reassessment, which obviously they can't do as the blooming statement isn't even finalised yet and even if they did the professionals would prove them wrong.
Unbelievably, the SENCO started the meeting by telling us that we are asking for Gold Standard support for ds 'when he is only entitled to an adequate education'. Dh nearly fell off his chair and jumped in saying they are crazy if they think what we are asking for is Gold Standard. If anything we have gone for the bare minimum in order to get the statement through in time for naming a secondary. All we're asking for is a total of 5 hours LSA contact, split into 4 daily sessions, to deal with organisational stuff and feelings diary entries, 45 minutes of ASD Teacher contact and a weekly social skills group! Hardly gold standard. 
So, what do I do now. We are outside the timescale for being able to ask for a meeting - ie 15 days from when they issued the proposed. Judging by their behaviour so far, I seriously doubt they are going to issue another proposed statement, which leaves me with nothing to appeal and/or request a meeting against.
Would I be leaving myself wide open if I call the LEA and tell them that I am not happy to recind my amendments and therefore they either finalise as is, so I can (and will) appeal or I would like a meeting now to sort it all amicably so that they can finalise?
Thing is, during the meeting with the SENCO she basically dangled the carrot of saying if we don't finalise soon, we will miss the opportunity to name a secondary and will have to go through the mainstream admissions process - although part of me thinks that in the current climate that might not be a bad thing with all our options being academies. Apparently she's had the forms through for all the other statemented children already - or so she said.
I feel like I am just spinning my wheels here, not being able to make logical sense of how best to move forward effectively. I have been in bed all holiday bar Monday and Tuesday, when I made myself go out with the family so that the boys' holiday wasn't ruined by my health and my neuro symptoms are getting worse by the day, but I have to get all this sorted out as having it hanging over me is just causing more and more stress.