Best and worst professionals...

[sickofincompetenceandbullshit]

They have a major influence over our lives and those of our children, but what makes a good or bad professional?

For me, our best has been the CAMHS consultant. She listens, is non-judgmental (though honest, and not afraid to challenge me if needed) and is willing to stick her neck out for us. Without her, we'd have crap Statement, no dx, no Blue Badge and no DLA. Her support with ds's behaviour keeps us afloat - just.

Worst: (not including SEN team who mess with Statements) someone who'd never met ds but decided that I was causing his behaviour (pre-dx) and tried to block and reduce the support in his Statement. Told others to consider Munchausens BP but shut up quickly when dx happened. Reduced me to tears in a meeting by telling me that I wanted him dependent on adults forever. Eye-rolled when I explained he wasn't safe unsupervised, despite school agreeing. A dangerous and ignorant woman, whose rise to even more power in the LA wasn't halted by a formal complaint.

What about you?

Best for us was a mental health nurse at CAMHS who had years of experience of working with people with ASD. He really listened to what we were saying, he helped to get DP on board just by being a man and understanding what we were saying. He also believed us when we told him what was going on at school and helped us to realise that we could stand up to the HT or work around her.

His work and support resulted in us getting a DX of ASD for Dd3 3.5 years after her initial appointment.

Worst Proff for us was the HT/SENCO at Dd3's old school, she actually believes that she knows more about other peoples children than their parents do and she will lie and try to manipulate other proffs so that they think the parents are spouting rubbish. She has done this to a number of families with SN's.

best for us is DS2's consultant paed, he has been under her care for about 7 years now & she just knows him inside & out (literally).
She is supportive, proactive, respectful, knowledgeable & happy to challenge & put everyone (including me) in their place if she doesnt feel something is in ds2's best interest.
The only person who has been completely useless was the preschool LEA inclusion officer who phoned us following his referal by the hospital CDC to ask if her input was really needed.. & i quote... just cos a child ahs a diagnosis doesnt mean he will struggle at school & had i considered just letting him be himself & see how things pan out for a yr or two.
At this time DS had a dx of CP & developmental delay following a very prem birth & complications.
He now has a dx of CP, autism, learning difficulties has a full statement at ms primary & will be moving to SN school for secondary & is unlikely ever to live inependantly.

Best for us has been our current community paed ..6 years and counting. He listens, he will always refer us on if I am worried, and he is just so nice to talk to!

Worst was the first neuro who told us 'I think he is brain damaged' and dx him with a fatal disorder with no proof. We requested a change of doc shortly afterwards :/

Best for us: phsychologist CAMHS who sees my son exactly as i do, can see there is a problem with his legs and has got us referal to hospital as in patient from there when tests came back clear referral as day patient yorkhill glasgow now has dx and just to be on safe side has referred him to prudhoe northumbria which specialise in kids with severe learning disability. Before seeing her he had dx of severe autism, GDD, low muscle tone, & pica. She now wants to find out if other dx and to find out why the severe learning disability so referred us to prudhoe. She truly is amazing, without her id be hitting head off a brick wall. Worst for us: social worker who hasnt got a bloody clue about kids with disabilities. ds been unwell from novembr 11 not been in school for 7 months now, im supposed to get help with sense scotland (5hours out every 2nd sat) only time ive heard from her was few weeks back to say your not using sense will i just cancel it, im like eh no chance i need it now more than ever she's like ach i thought everything would be ok now is ds no better, im like eh no (he actually attends hospital every day mon 2 fri from mid feb until now), she knows this!! in my book i need more help not help i already have being cancelled.

developmental paed who broke it to me really gently that he IS asd - I was in denial

worst:
infant teacher "I can't possibly fit a workstation in this classroom" "We can't implement anything without a full time LSA" "The one thing I can tell you is that he is NOT normal" "speak to Miss Z, she deals with special needs" the only thing she didn't say was the one thing she meant "I do NOT want him in my class"

Best the paed who led the MDA's that dx'ed Jack and Lucy really interested and glad to refer and lots of tips. Also the child psych who taught me so many strategies with ds that changed our lives for the better and that I still use with him and dd some 15 years later.

Worst GP who refused to refer ds to paed and then when SALT did told paed he believed I had Munchausen BP and there was no basis to my concerns.
Autism outreach who was patronising when seeing dd saying she was 6 years down the line (since her dd's dx) and I'd soon pick it up.In fact she knew less than I did and got a certain satisfaction telling her I was in fact 12 years down the line and I'd be happy to pass on tips should she need them.

Another vote for an excellent consultant paediatrician. I know he'll have to retire sometime but the annual appointment is so useful that I want him not to!
GP been great too. And asd support group worker. Plus several teachers & TAs who have gone above and beyond what I could have asked.

One (school) education person = chocolate teapot. Another (LEA) = just sneaky. Sadly they're the important ones.

Best specialist Paed, who told me other developmental paed's that had said 'there is no way your son has ASD' were talking rubbish.

By far the worse have been SENCO and HT, they have lied, are unable to understand or want to understand any expert report. Ds doesnt cause them any difficulties, so therefore doesnt have any difficulties. This has been extremely detrimental to any support that ds gets. They also report 'no difficulties' to external agencies. Why they just cant say 'we dont understand' i dont know, wannabe experts are the worst kind.

Worst old HT - lied at every turn (to the point I and a couple of other parents think she must have some sort of clinical disorder), lost her temper & tried to strangle my 6 year old. Never been officially reprimanded & DS wasn't her first victim as she's so well protected by senior officials on the council & LA. The cahms clinical pysch who over rode DS's (then 4) first school's request for an initial ADOS without meeting DS, blaming parenting, then blocked 3 seperate tertiary requests for GOSH, again without meeting DS. Now point blank refuse to deal with CAHMS in any shape or form as they blocked every attempt to help DS at every opportunity.

Best - Indy Ed pysch & the NHS SALT (who has since become Head of Autism Outreach). Both were a joy to meet with, knew their stuff, not scared to go away and come back to me re the odd query. Morally incorruptable & not scared to go against LA/NHS "group think" when required, which must have been tough politically for the SALT turned Autism Outreach lady. Teacher at the behavioral unit, and DS's current class teacher also deserve special praise.

There's an emerging theme here it seems?

Worst: HT / schools who think they 'know better' and in worst cases slag parents off to other profs (my experience)

Best: pot luck if you get a competant professional or not!

Worst case scenario: unfounded Dx of Munchausens BP / Social services intervention.

Pretty bleak

We must treasure the good professionals and keep slogging on.

The good profs seem to be those secure enough in their own knowledge to not get defensive iykwim

Oh and i had a really crap NHS OT once too, after i moved boroughs, she decided that she would discharge ds with no report ever being written. She was lucky enough to have school reporting 'no difficulties' despite ds being admitted to hospital for his self harming and refusing school.

When pushed she then tried to provide a report based on 'mum says he has all these difficulties' and 'school says no difficulties' and she concluded she was 'pleased at the progress ds had made' despite never having performed any assessments on him.

Paed really stuck up for me on this and wrote a letter asking them to do their job properly.

I made a complaint about her, she went on long term sick leave.

NHS SALT's have always been okish, in as much as at least they report their findings, but they dont seem to focus on functional ability. Same for EP's.

CAMHS have been very helpful.

Best: Paed who actually listened to me, asked what I thought and hugged me when DS2 was in hospital and DS1 had just been taken home in tears.

Worst: social worker who told me that there was nothing wrong with DS2, that I was clearly making him ill because I wanted the attention and if I cuddled him less and had a tidy house he would be fine. Also that DS1 should be potty trained and as the HV had given me a leaflet there was no excuse.

The portage worker was DS1's favourite professional and he used to frequently tell her that he liked her much better than the social worker .