Maybe ive been seeing it all wrong if its just me?

[lattelov3r]

Ive posted before about ds age 6 and in P1 having some sensory issues according to an OT assessment at age 5, he gets no help with these and i made an appointment with gp (shes been away and i particulary wanted a certain gp) which im now thinking of cancelling due to the following, Basically ive had a parents meeting with ds' teacher who told me that he is performing fine academically and behaviourally and is being removed from his nurture class and going to class full time now, although they can see he fidgets etc and gets a bit over excited they cant see that i would be having any problems at home so now im a bit surely if there was an issue school would see it? apparently the sensory things are no issue there so maybe im just not coping with my own child when out an about? im really unsure as to bring anything up with a gp because i have a history of anxiety myself so they might just think its all me, im really worried about that happening.

Then yesterday i had to take him to get his eyes tested and he found it really hard to sit still there was lots to see and touch and i had to continually tell him to stop and sit still he constantly interupted the optician asking what everything was and done even with random things like the opticians hair and telling him how many days to people at schools birthdays etc or asking the same question over and over like 'am i getting new glasses? what ones, what colour will they be? can i have them now, when can i have them? what day can i have them' over and over i came out thinking is this normal for a 6 year old??? maybe it is maybe it IS just me.

I suppose the way he was at 3-5 and now is much much better the tantrums have stopped the fear of noises then need for routine its all went away in the last year leaving niggly issues would i be better to just leave things as are and cancel gp as its not having any bearing at school?

I am not an expert but we went through some of these issues with my ds who has special needs. Sounds like he needs lot of reassuring, this is why he is asking same questions over and over. I personally would not cancel appointment, it's always good to have all facts and everything checked out and if he doesn't need any extra support etc down the line, you can always cancel. Does he have a statement or was this not needed for him? Don't be afraid to ask for any test or assessment to be done. If it's in the best interest of your angel, who care what anyone thinks :) That's how I always see it. I rather they call you over protective, anxious, etc than something being missed at an early stage. Be safe...you will feel better as well. All the best.

surely if there was an issue school would see it?

Not necessarily. Identifying problems means having to suupy extra help to overcome those problems. Extra help costs schools money - so needs can go unidentified.

Your average SENCO or teacher receives so little training in SENs it would make you weep. Parents on here are constantly told there are no problems, only to find out later that their children actually have very serios problems.

Trust your instinct.

it has taken me 2 years to break through at school. School see barely any of DS1's sensory issues cos he's rule abiding and puts in so much effort to toeing the line at school. In some ways brilliant, in others not cos yes you got it. before it was all my parenting! it is possible. Mum's know best. Don't forget when they get home most teachers are getting on with their own personal things (exceptions of course), and not worrying that a Mum has concerns over the child. and unless training is 'inflicted' on them a lot will probably not get much SEN training. You've most probably done your own research and you know your child. Stick with your instincts just in case. If your wrong you won't have done any harm. If you're right then your DC will get help sooner (hopefully).

See the GP. Diagnosis is not just about getting help for school, it's for the benefit of the whole family, from confirmation of sanity for the parents to clearer explanations to siblings and extended family and to the self-esteem and understanding of the child itself. You deserve to know for sure because you've worked so hard getting him to where he is and so you will have the courage of your convictions should you need to fight for him further.
You mention your own anxiety issues, do you think you could have some spectrum traits eg sensory stuff, perhaps that might cause your anxiety? If so, that would be important to mention to the GP as ASD is usually genetic. Look around your family.

At DS1's school - he's the perfect pupil. In fact I have a certificate of HT award saying "I wish there were more like him" Yeah, right. You mean academically fine on SA+ where there is minimal input, leeway given for his physical needs. So he ticks so many boxes for them
Then they let him out of school and as he's held it in all day, he goes off like a champagne cork.
School never really believed me, even when DS said he felt different at home - more relaxed. But now, DS3 is in YR. DS2 never really speaks about DS1 at school, but DS3 never stops. He has repeatedly told teachers that his bruises are where his DS pushes and shoves him, that DS1 hits mum and throws things and has major tantrums - oh how the truth is spilling out.
I really think that it can be so difficult to get the right support if your DC doesn't disrupt the learning in class and isn't academically behind. There is absolutely no incentive from the school's perspective, to offer help. I have found that the best support comes from OTs, SALT etc, who can make recommendations as to what to do in school. If your school is any good (mine is good at this) they will act on outside agency input. If they don't, you're on a hiding to nothing.
I know that last bit sounded gloomy, but I moved schools to find one that would at least be prepared to acknowledge DS1s difficulties and work with OT etc, from a school that just sat him in the corner and let him do nothing.

thanks for the replies really appreciated i suppose because often i look at him and he is just like any 'normal' child then certain things are just like huh? going out anywhere with him is so stressfull im starting to avoid it completely the constant touching of everything its like being out with an overgrown toddler. Its funny you say that as i was diagnosed with anxiety and social phobia at 16 and as ive been reading up on autism etc and looking at checklists ive been seeing myself! i hate social situations, i avoid eye contact as much as possible im prone to anger outburts and i really hate change or imperfection if things arnt the way i want them to be it really upsets me in a way i cant even describe i just dont like it i drive dh nuts tbh

Stick to your guns. You see stuff and your voice is just as valid as any 'professional'.
My ASD son wasn't diagnosed til 7.5y. I had gone into school for 3 years expressing my concerns, gone to GP, spoken to a friend who was a paeds Physio. School continuously pooh-poohed my concerns until I had a private Clinical Psychology report in my hand. Now, they are on-side and actively involved.

My son's sensory processing difficulties have changed over the years. For example, he is no longer sensitive to loud noises. However, there are still plenty of things that he is sensitive/insensitive to.

The staff at his school have no idea about sensory processing. In our case, I think it is a lack of training rather than trying to save money. So no, the school would not necessarily pick up on your child's sensory difficulties. As others have suggested, you should pay attention to your instincts and discuss your concerns with your GP.

Good luck.

Thank you for the replies and i will keep the appointment as you all say ive nothing to lose by getting him checked out and if the gp says its just my anxietys then so be it. I really wish i had not taken the 'wait and see' approach and taken him years ago when things were more obvious i.e the routines, meltdowns,lining things up etc because any probems were clearer then.

I seem to swing between there is something wrong and there isnt in my own mind, ive sat and watched him all morning (school hol) and listened to him play i do admit to often drowning him out as its a constant barage of noise and he definatly does now play with imagination he was using a toys tail as a brush to sweep up for example he never used to show any imagaination, and when playing with his cars he said the line of cars was stuck because a car had crashed in front. He talks pretty much 99% of the time like all the thoughts in his brain have to be verbalised, he wanders around his room talking about boys at school each sentance makes sense but no actual story hard to explain and maybe just normal anyway.

It sounds horrible to say i wish he would just be quiet sometimes but its constant noise even when hes telling you something he takes the long way, for example earlier he spilt a drink, he didnt just say 'mum ive spilt my water' he had to say 'mum do you know what just happened i had my glass and it slid out my hand like this (with gesture) then just went over like bang (with gesture and bang noise) then water went all on the mat and i picked my glass back up and now it needs cleaned up'

im thinking arghhh just i spilled my water would of sufficed sorry i know that sounds ridiculous just having a stressfull morning

It's not ridiculous. I can't bear the constant chatter. He has talked constantly through every game he's played today. It wasn't until I took him to an ASD afterschool club and watched him play wii with another boy and saw that they both chattered constantly that it suddenly became less irritating to me as he just can't help it.

Definitely go for assessment. If it isn't anything then he won't get a dx simple as that. If he does, then that is the "label" that you need to fight for whatever support that you/he need.

I'm now watching a replay of the race he just had on Mario Kart.