any one with two children on the spectrum?

[autumnsmum]

hello havent been on here for a long time.i was wondering if anyone has two children on the autistic spectrum? i have a son of seven who has high functioning autism and a daughter of 2.8 who is currently being assessed i would be very interested to here about anyone in a similar situation thank you in advance autumnsmum

Yes. Both of my children are. My eldest was diagnosed at 2.5 and my youngest around 3. They are now 11 and just turned 13.

Dd1 has Aspergers, Dd2 has HFA, DSS1 has ASD and ADHD (but no dx) and i think dh has Aspergers.

I have met quite a few parents with 2 or 3 children on the spectrum, i also know a family with 5 on the spectrum (all at different levels).

Yes I have a son 17 with severe autism dx at 3 and a dd 9 with a moderate to severe autism diagnosis (although now seems HFA compared to ds) dx at 2. I have three others one has dyspraxia.
At present life is easy and chilled so it seems to get better with age or maybe we just got used to it who knows?

yes, ds aged 11 severe autism and dd 7 more moderate ASD. I guess you could say I have made less mistakes with dd as knew the pitfalls!

My two boys are both on spectrum. They were diagnosed at 2yrs and 3yrs.

They are now 9 and 12.

i suspect rather strongly that i have too

DD is 4.11yrs and dx ASD

DS2 is 24yrs and has many traits and scores very highly on the online tests. DH is not DS2s father and has recently said he assumed DS2 had SN when he met him (aged 16)

cansu I feel just like you in that I feel like I got more things right with dd and she is easier and more able as a result.

Yes DS1 13 aspergers and DS2 8 autism.

Always interesting here and very often hard work...

Me too except that Dd1 (23)is undiagnosd. She she was seen by several HCP's between 3 and 9 and they talked about ADHD but then discharged her blaming my parenting!!
I believe she has Aspergers.

Dd3 was dxed with ASD last september she is 9.

They are very similar and very different IYKWIM, Dd1 doesnt live at home anymore but she can still dominate our days as she pinballs through her life.

Poor Dd2 is stuck in the middle, she is very NT and doesnt get the other two much ar all. Bless her

pinballing! that is exactly how to describe DS2's life!

he's like a ten-pin bowling ball, heavy, hard work but solid with it, takes some shifting and when he's on a mission he needs lots of 'bumpering' to keep him on track, but when he gets there it's a strike!

Dd1 is more the "pinball machine" type, she pings from one disaster to another.

yes, my DS is mixed metaphor - pinballing with a bowling ball

if i was totally honest, i'd say DS1 was probably on the spectrum too...always preferred his own company and not very good at reading social cues, he finds a comfort zone and takes root. he's had a couple of serious relationships, and both have failed because of this. i'd love to be able to talk to him about some investigations so he can maybe understand a little bit more about other people, he's very clever, loyal and honest, but is really blinkered unless things are spelled out and directed for him.

Should say that DS1 is un dx at present but all professionals working with us agree it is aspergers, just working on DS agreeing to label is proving very difficult, causing problems with education side of things, statement etc. easier if children are identified and correctly dx when younger.

insanity yes I sometimes think we were so bloody clueless with ds and also so much kind of waiting on professionals to help that he missed out and by the time I was awake to what was going on he already had lots of entrenched behaviours and was very much in his own world. Definitely find dd easier and I agree that her autism may present as less severe because of how we have worked with her and dealt with her. Easy to see this now but at the time I suppose I was also dealing with the emotional upheaval of the diagnosis.

I agree cansu, i have found Dd3 much less difficult to handle even though she is probably more autistic ( if that is possible) than Dd1.

But Dd 1 is 23 and I knew absloutely nothing about autism in those days, she just seemed ti be impossible to disipline(sp) and was prone to raging tantrums, kicking and biting.

She was difficult at school but very bright so got board and caused trouble very easily.

With Dd3 I had worked with some children with ASD and had some excellent training and had begun to realise that that was the issue with Dd1, so I read everything I could get my hands on.

Coming on here was the very best thing I did though sharing ideas and getting great support which i never had with Dd1.

I think you'll find ASD is genetic in most cases. I have an NT eldest DD and was aware of Aspergers likelihood in the family which I think is why I've been able to spot ASD in my boys so young.

I have a 7yr old Aspie and a 3yr old with Pathological Demand Avoidance (tbc). Before we had #3, we did consider the chance that a third child might have SN and maybe more difficult ones but thought sod it, better us than anyone else. And so it came to pass, PDA appears to be far more challenging than Aspergers has ever been in our family.

BTW if anyone is down South and interested in adult DX, there is a centre in Southampton that takes referrals from anywhere in the UK. Probably something similar in Cambridge too as I hear that's a hotspot.

Dd is like a mirror image of ds so the stuff he has the most difficulties with dd has the least. I'm sure some of it is personality but I suspect a lot is that I got in there right from the beginning and was able to limit the behaviours.Ds was dx at three but it was no secret from two and a half that the dx would be autism but by the time we got support ds had a whole range of behaviours firmly ingrained so even that felt too late.

Oh yes and I have the haunted look to prove it!

DS1 is 8.5 and has ASD/ADHD. Highly verbal, very intelligent and very destructive. Can rant for England and is prone to regular big, explosive meltdowns. DS2 (6) has ASD and is hypermobile and non-verbal. He's seemingly reached the terrible twos - into everything and very mischievous. Special talents include hiding the floor and winding up DS1.

Mine are like chalk and cheese, too, insanity.

And DS1 is definitely the pinball of the two. Almost literally, since he has to rub against anything he walks past - great fun if that's a display of something made of glass in a shop!

And pre-diagnosis, DS1 was a nightmare baby - constantly tense, alert and all over everything. Crawling on his belly at 4.5 months because he just had to get at stuff. DS2 was passive and floppy and very late to meet motor milestones.

ds2 age 16 diagnosed age 22 months at sn school taking entry level core exams and life skills

ds3 age 14 diagnosed aged 3 in mainstream with 20 hours on his statement about to embark on 10 GCSEs. Much easier to get him a dx and statement having gone through it all with ds2

Like others have said they are chalk and cheese though they share the same anxieties to a greater or lesser degree, a thirst for routine and structure. Both seem to have an episodic photographic like memory recalling strange details from years gone by eg. where was that place which had a roundabout sign next to the tree where we went on a Wednesday at 2pm in 2005? Quite often between the two of them they can work it out - Amazing!

Most difficult years were up until the age of 6/7 when they were both out of nappies and able to use some speech to communicate their frustrations

They rarely play together not sharing any interests at all but fortunately ds1 gets on with both of them in very different ways

eatyourveg ds has an amazing memory too. Last year we went back to the Isle of Wight for the first time in ten years because he was a nightmare the last time. No idea how he managed to memorise so much at the time as he spent most of it screaming and either on the floor banging his head or running at walls. Even so he directed us around the island faultlessly pointing out which were new lamp posts and road signs too He's like a personal sat nav because if he's ever been on a road before he'll have it committed to memory.

DS1 memorises lamp posts, too. One particular anxiety was ended when the light outside our house that was finished off by "hurricane bawbag" 6 months ago was finally replaced, last week. He told me where else identical lights had been installed!

He tours google maps telling me where lights and windows of places he's been have changed.

thanks everyone beenfeeling really down and isolated so this has been really helpful