DS is 7 and in year 2. He had some medical issues aged about 5 which were incorrectly diagnosed as behavioural due to our parenting and resulted in an ed psych assessment confirming an IQ in the top 1%. However a multi disciplinary team decided he had no signs of ASD based on his interacting very well with them (he always interacts well with adults on a 1 to 1 basis) and his NQT at school not reporting any concerns. They did not carry out any specific tests other than the IQ test and did not observe him in school. School still feel he is achieving well despite achieving below average results in writing and no correlation with IQ. The medical issues were later correctly diagnosed and treated and all accusations against us dropped. My DH would never willingly go near another so called professional again as they nearly destroyed the whole family and I would never use the NHS.
However DS remains very eccentric. He always has obsessions when he cannot speak of any other subject, then after a few months or a year it changes to a new subject. This subject will take over everything so he will play, make things or read about this subject and even watch it on TV. Eating, dressing or toileting do not occur with out reminders using timer as warning. My DB and DF have always been much the same so I dont find it as unusual as DH does but we find it tiring to parent and the contrast with his siblings is huge. Example I ask do you want some pudding. His reply do you know that jupiters 3rd moon.....
We dont know how or if he manages to be distracted from the obsessions at school although he always carries something hidden as a reminder ie a planet or dinosaur to school. School are not keen to discuss anything but I am unsure if this is because they know they cant get him to achieve potential or if they believe he is eccentric but that it is our fault. In the last term he has made a friend for the first time and had a couple of play dates which has been the biggest step forward so far and has been a great relief to me. Generally the children and especially their parents find him very annoying. His siblings are still to start school but have no characteristics of ASD and demonstrate empathy and can make everyday conversations.
Is there any benefit to my trying to do anything? He is not refusing to go to school although is reluctant as is always frantically busy at home. Could the obsessions, challenging behaviour and poor social interaction just be due to high IQ, if he can presumably conform at school then should it gradually get easier? I am just so happy that he has a friend at last that I am not even sure that I should be posting as that was what I had hoped for.