FILM PREMIER TONIGHT 8PM channel MN : A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MUMSNUTTER!

[mrsforgetful]

Come on all you regulars to the SN thread... we all need something to make us smile in the dark winter evenings!!!
Coppertop and I have decided that we are making a film (well we'd like to if speiberg is available for a bit of 'help' we'd need!!! )

Sooooooo where do you all fit in??? Well, if we were REALLY making a film (and we're not ...by the way.....that's for all those of you who like me are the undiagnosed AS adults....who may just 'take me literaly' and be searching the cinemas for THE FILM!!! ...then we'd need a cast and we need ideas for the story

Now what better storyline could we have than ' A day in the life of a MUMSNUTTER'

So come on....cofessions please.....make ME feel that i am not the only one 'hiding' christmas pressies in the oven and forgetting.....until ....you guessed! aND WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO SHARE SOME OF THOSE 'FUNNY' THINGS OUR KIDS SAY AND DO...THERE'S BEEN LOADS OF THREADS LIKE THIS....,BUT NONE THAT MIGHT BE UP FOR AN OSCAR!!!

Take my mind of my fight for ds2's diagnosis (yep...still battling)

Come and join coppertop and i at the back of the classroom....we're having such a laugh...though she's been a bit poorly and i've been a bit down...so we've been a bit quieter!!!!

After a particularly bad day I was ready to collapse. I prepared a much-needed caffeine fix and was about to drink it when ds1 started jumping up and down and flapping. I told him that I wasn't doing anything else until I'd had my coffee because "Mummy needs to recharge her batteries." BIG MISTAKE! Ds1 looked somewhat puzzled, said "Mummy batteries?" and started lifting my jumper in an attempt to find my battery compartment. Poor little mite was so disappointed when he couldn't find a single battery. I think it was the equivalent of an NT child finding out that Santa isn't real.....

He sulked off in the other room -

"mummy needs new batteries" thought ds "now were are they (thinking very hard) oh yes he thought on top of daddy's desk - ds climbed the bg chair on to the desk - when smash - dd has caught the vase of flowers that we're on the desk and the water had gone all over the monitor and keyboard
.................

...then she fell over too and broke her glasses (ggrrr)....

oh no fio2! Dropping something caused a bug spate of headbanging the floor (why has this started again- grrrr!)

Risking an electric shock, the desperate Mumsnutter switched the computer on and found Mumsnet. She hurriedly posted a plea for help and received a reply from.......

a young hunky fireman who happened to be on Mumsnet looking for a potential date. He said...

"No smutty comments about my pole or the length of my hose. What I need is....

...a statement of special educational needs for my son. He's already been refused assessment twice". I replied...

"This is Mumsnet, not a place for miracles. To get any kind of help you need to get on a waiting list. But there's another waiting list before you can get on that list. However, if you can find a paediatrician, he/she will say.....

"I'll write you out a prescription for some pills to calm him down,
and here's a useful website".....and then he will frown......
"Ah, before we go on any further - there's something i must do,
i need a second opinion before i put you in the queue"

The mumsnetter panics and she cries
"What about later when he can't understand
that a change in routine cannot always be planned?

Will you help me? Will you care?
If i ring for advice will you be there?
Or will you go home at half past 5
and listen to the radio as you drive?
And will you think about us later tonight-
us trying to give our son a future that is bright.

"excuse me" he interrupts "i'm afraid i can't say,
It's not up to me,....but if you can pay......
then i know a PRIVATE specialist, who for a 'small' fee
can get your son assessed- unfortunately not for free......"

"Otherwise you'll have to wait till things get really bad
when he's been excluded and teacher's really mad
and then someone will listen to what you have to say
But take my advice...
to know too much isn't nice

you're ONLY the parent - and though you LOVE him so...
It's NOT enough as for a ride on the NHS SYSTEM CONVEYER BELT you must go"

(fantastic, mrs f!)

mrs f brilliant

The life of my SN child

Will he survive
From early on I can tell
There is something wrong
Welcome to ignorance hell

Breathing stops
Colour never right
Feeding a nightmare
Child doesnt sleep at night

Always questioning
Ask docs whats wrong
We can tell you one day
But we dont know how long

As child grows older
Milestones waiting to be reached
When can he walk and talk
In God I beseech

Benefits are a pain
DLA forms are hit and miss
If you forget the smallest detail
They take the piss

Is it my fault
I can feel the strain
it makes me sad
I never want to go through this again

Tubes and medication
What is all this
I wouldnt change him for the world
As I love him as he is

Future may be bleak
Future may be bright
I dont care, as long
As he is in my arms every night.

How I feel at Xmas time.

Xmas is coming
Why do I feel sad
Coz he cant play with the presents
That I once had

I look out the window
I look out the door
Seeing all the other children
With their new toys they explore

He cant ride a bike
He cant play with a train
Only attracted by lights
Teardrops fall again and again

Seasons greetings is a nightmare
Festive goodies for all
Come on son, try some
No matter how small

What can santa bring him
He is only a little titch
Life is not fair
In fact, life is a bitch.

Doormat that is wonderfull, its so touching it has brought tears to my eyes, you are a saint

doormat- amd

For mrsf: The 'sweet' smell of burning plastic wafts gently through the Forgetful household... MrsF races into the kitchen and rescues a melted M&S bag from the oven. Ds1 looks on in amazement. MrsF: "These are your father's new clothes." Ds1: "So is THIS what people mean by 'hot pants'?" MrsF pauses briefly to consider what MrF would look like in hot pants. She runs out screaming.....

......DS2 says"Stop screaming...I'm playing the playstation" The next day the RAC man turns up to fix the car...MrsF cannot find the keys to the car...so he goes away....only for her to find the keys 10 minutes later when she empties the laundry basket to do some washing. (isn't that where EVERYONE puts their keys???)This is all to much for her and she storms out of the room kicking a trainer as she goes- and as a result broke her toe. She hobbles out to the kitchen to get the washing to peg out.....and doesn't realise for 2 hours (she gets sidetracked gardening) that she's locked out- solution simple....uncle removes whole frontroom window- then once opened the door replaces window. And as this goes on he mind wanders to the simpler days before 3 boys ,when she was merely pregnant for the first time...and twice ran out of petrol and had to get out the car 'search for help' looking fit to 'drop'!!!! (is she the only woman to have tried to wax an ever growing 'bump' when pregnant...and ended up with a blister....the midwives said they thought they'd seen it all untill a few weeks later when i spilt hot water on the very same bump!!!) ENOUGH!!!! Someone stop me! I will be sectioned if i say any more!
Yes,she's sure had a 'colourful' life so far...infact talking of 'colour' theres the time when her DH was off to portugal to play golf for the weekend....and the night before he went she painted ALL his toenails RED!!!!!

Oh mrsf I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! I'd love to know the full story about the toe-painting though!