Please tell me what to do next.

[Shagmundfreud]

... because I'm depressed and feel frankly witless about how to go about getting my son assessed, and getting him appropriate support at school.

Have posted before about ds in March: here

So it's two months on and we've now been on the waiting list for CAMHS since January. Six months. In which time ds's (who is in year 2) behaviour has deteriorated quite significantly at school. The EP has suggested a possible diagnosis of HFA, based on a short observation she made well over a year ago (she's been on sick leave since then and the school hasn't bought in anyone to cover her).

In the past few weeks he's been regularly removed from the classroom for being silly - running around shouting and refusing to do what's asked of him. When he's removed he gets sent to sit in another classroom, or to the head's office. Last week he got sent to the HT who told him that if he continued to behave badly she would have to send him home. I went in the next day and told his teacher that of all the things anyone could have said to him that would discourage him from trying to behave differently that was the most persuasive, as he would like nothing better than to be at home with me and not at school. This behaviour is escalating and I'm very concerned about him starting in juniors with no diagnosis and no support.

He is on school action plus and is supposed to be getting support from the TA, but she's worse than useless. She just doesn't have a CLUE. Actually I think she hates him. She certainly looks like she does. Hands him over to me with a face like a bull-dog chewing a wasp every day. Has never said a single positive thing about him to me - I always have to ask what sort of day he's had and all she ever does is make critical comments about his behaviour. She NEVER offers any information and will blank me if I go into the classroom. She is sometimes sarcastic to DS. His classroom teacher means well, but she is very drippy and wet and clearly doesn't understand anything about how he thinks, other than what I explain to her. He basically gets treated like a naughty child the whole time at school. He is often sobbing when I pick him up. Oh, and he hasn't had his targets reviewed since the start of the year.

It's starting to eat away at me - the long wait for an assessment appointment (we have been flagging up our suspicions of autism since he started school, though the school refused to acknowledge our concerns until the start of year one) , and the total uselessness of the school in coming up with ideas about managing his behaviour in a way which doesn't make him feel like a pariah.

The thing is though, that I'm in a state of depression about it all, and about my other problems with my dd. I find myself unable to think clearly about where to go and what to do next to improve his experience of school, other than to keep communicating with his teacher (for all the fucking good it does). I really don't know what to do next. We have no money for a private assessment. I'm sure the school are failing in their duty to educated him by keeping removing him from the classroom in the way that they are, but what can I do about it? I just don't know where to start.

First things first. Insist on a meeting with SENCO (or whoever is doing her job, as I believe you mentioned long term sick for her) and HT if necessary and demand that they provide him with appropriate support. Sending him home is not an option unless they are prepared to officially exclude him, which means with paperwork and everything. I'm willing to bet they won't want to do that, as that will provide a paper trail to prove that he IS having difficulties at school.

If TA is not treating him appropriately, insist on a different TA, citing the reasons you've stated above.

Put this request for a meeting with SENCO (including the reasons why) in writing, along with a demand for his IEP review to be completed (indicating exactly how long it's been since they last did it) at a time when you can also attend. Everything MUST be in writing - it sounds like they are saying he is not having difficulty in school when he obviously is. Therefore you need to create a paper trail to prove that he IS having problems.

Call CAMHS and find out what the hold up is. 6 months is unreasonable. Then call your GP and get a referrral to a paediatrician as well. Even if you get in to CAMHS, keep the appointment with the paed. It never hurts to have the extra assessment/discussion avenue open.

You do NOT need to rely on the school for a request for SA and you do NOT need to rely on the school to get him in to see a paed. Do these on your own and force the issue. You'll feel better taking some action yourself, and it will give you something positive to work towards (which will help with the depression - however also speak to your GP if you are having serious depression! Now is not the time to overlook your own health!!).

Very important to remember - you do not need a diagnosis for the school to provide support. So if that is what they have told you, then you need to make it perfectly clear to them that you expect him to have decent support NOW! Call parent partnership and get someone there to provide you with some information about this situation as well.

Best of luck.

triggles.

Have been to GP last week and she has said she will try to push for a quicker assessment from CAMHS on the basis of how ds's situation is impacting on my mental health and the rest of the family. But no mention of a referral to a paed. I will go back and ask again.

Re school, do you know how often IEPs should be reviewed? I thought it was every 6 weeks.

I definitely want to get something in writing about the HT threatening to send ds home. And also a record of his exclusions from the classroom.

How do I go about applying for SA of his SEN? Who would I see?

Triggles response covered absolutely everything you need to do to improve matters.

There is no set time for the review of IEPs. Reviews can be held at any time but should be reviewed at least termly. But what's important is what is stated in the IEP. An IEP should be SMART:
Specific - state what difficulty is being addressed
Measurable - state what improvement should be attained
Accurate
Realistic - in goal-setting
Timely - state what period the improvement should occur within

Many IEPs are just drivel - make sure yours is SMART.

There is a lot of advice and a suggested format for applying for a statury assessment that may lead to a Statement on the IPSEA website www.ipsea.org.uk

You don't need anyone's permission or to see anyone before you submit your written request for a statutory assessment yourself. You're legally entitled to do so and many of us have done so. School, as they obviously cannot support his needs so are excluding him and his IEP shows he has not made progress , should have applied for an assessment themeselves by now but they won't as it could be expensive in terms of time and money for them. So they'll continue to ignore and exclude him until they are forced to address his needs by you applying for a statutory assessment.

As part of that assessment the Ed Pysch and a Paediatrician will be required to provide their own assessments. This is arranged by the LA as part of the process.

DS2's IEP is reviewed every 2 months. I am invited to attend in writing well in advance, so that I can be there every time.

As far as your son being excluded, I would not take him home unless they put the exclusion in writing each and every time. Do not back down on it ever.

I think it's very important to make clear to them that there are certain things you will not tolerate, and him being mistreated or not supported is one of those things. Every time there is an incident, make sure even if you discuss it in person that you follow it up in writing.. again, that paper trail is very important.

Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease! We here on the SN boards are all very very squeaky wheels!