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Could my son have special needs?

9 replies

beckyloo · 01/06/2012 14:36

My son is 4 and until his nursery teacher pointed out that he could have some behavioural problems i just thought he was 'normal' and it was just him. But when she started to explain to me the things she has noticed i thought 'oh yeah' and then started to realise he does do some things that people may think are 'strange'.
To her at Nursery she said that he dosn't engage with children he will just watch them and he wont do the activities that are set out for them to do for example a work task with the teacher, he will just open his mouth when asked a question or make a funny noise. She told me he wouldnt go outside until they removed all of the leaves.
To me at home, he talks to his immidiate family but sometimes will ignore members of family he hasn't seen for a while and make a silly noise. He gets very upset if i change something i'e if i drive his dads car. When he was 2 he screamed morrisons down because he wanted to go into the male toilet because he is a boy and would NOT go in the ladies. I had to go home because he wouldn't use the toilet whatsoever and he was so angry so we had to drive home so he could go to the toilet. (i didnt know of any problems at this time) After a very long talk with him he understands he can go in the ladies but he is still uneasy about it today and now hes 4 we have 2 toilets at home and he will only use the downstairs toilet he will walk past the upstairs toilet and often wet himself if somebody is using the downstairs toilet or if he cant get the stairs gate open in time. But he will use the toilet upstairs if i am upstairs and watch him.
Im awating an appointment with a specialist ped doctor and his nursery teacher has given me a report about his behavious in nursery and some of this stuff i didn't know about.
She states he is meticulous and pedantic and this will often impact on tasks as he takes very long to complete them. He used to hide away from the children in class behind cupboards, he would take two steps forwards and make a noise and then take two steps back and make a noise. He had no desire to play with children, he would have no desire to play with toys. He didn't like to be touched. He only liked a set number of games and if these were not avaidable then he would just walk around and watch people. It makes me upset just reading it.
But the thing is since april he's made this massive turn around, she says he started to copy one boy and then made himself a friendship by copying the things that this boy would do then he started to talk to him and then he moved on to talking to others and made himself a little cirle of friends who he now plays with. I noticed this my self and he will play with children whilst waiting to go in nursery where as before he hid behind me. She says he still has some issues but he is improving.
Every time i search things Autism sticks out but i had an understanding that children who are autistic cannot imagien things and he has loads of imagination and he also tells me he loves me and gives me kisses and enjoys cuddles and i thouht children with autism didn't do this ( i could be wrong)
There is special needs in my family my brother has learning difficulties but he isn't autistic and he dosn't display the same behaviours my son does.
She also says when given an instruction he just stares blankly like he didn't hear but his hearing is fine, ive had it checked various times. He does have difficulty following instructions but i thought it was just him misbehaving, he is becoming harder and harder to deal with when it ell him not to do something its as if he cant stop what he's doing.

Sorry for the long winded background, i was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions. and things i could ask the doctor. I will be taking the report.

OP posts:
Ineedbunting · 01/06/2012 14:49

Hi beckyand welcome to the board.

If I were you I would make some notes about the things that you wrote on here and make an appointment to see your GP. Ask him or her for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

There are some red flags for autism in some of the things you say but no one on here would try to diagnose him.

Have the nursery offered to get him assessed, they should be offering him some additional support if they think there are some issues with his development.

Good luckSmile

StarlightMaJesty · 01/06/2012 14:59

Impossible for anyone to say autism or not but my Ds has classic autism, an active imagination, is cuddly with good eye contact.

It woukd be sensible to look at the Chat questionnaire as well as symptoms of dyspraxia and ADHD and list every one that your child may have with a written real life example or two for each one and take it to the GP requesting a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

SilkStalkings · 01/06/2012 17:58

Must have been a shock for you, well done for getting referred already.
Scroll down to find a checklist for early years signs. Dig out any baby books / milestone notes, home movies and see if anything else pops up. This will be handy for an assessment interview later.
In the meantime, try this on for size - PDA.

FanjoForHerMajesty · 01/06/2012 18:06

Re cuddles, my DD has severe autism and is if anything over cuddly and spends her whole time being affectionate.

FanjoForHerMajesty · 01/06/2012 18:06

she only has a few words but two of them are "love you".

ohmeohmy · 01/06/2012 18:22

The blank stares when given instructions could be a processing issue. Ask the nursery working to give short explicit instructions and then repeat using exactly the same words. If someone doesn't understand people tend to rephrase which can make the person think they are being given a whole new set of instructions on top of the first one and they get overwhelmed. You may be able to figure out some strategies to help before you see the paediatric.

TheLightPassenger · 01/06/2012 18:42

agree with ohmeohmy. Difficulty with instructions could be due to a problem understanding or processing language, so nursery needs to be careful that he actually understands what they are expecting of him! Probably worth getting a speech therapy referral as well to properly asses if he has difficulties with use/understanding of language.

coff33pot · 01/06/2012 21:05

DS likes nothing better than sitting on my lap no matter where we are and having a cuddle he loves the security of it if there isnt a fleecy blanket around. Has to be a bear grip one though as he hates light touch Grin

His imagination and forethinking is good and he will think nothing of walking up to someone and instilling a conversation wether that person wants to listen or not. But he is not consistent in his communication or reading gestures or non verbal actions and he is socially awkward even though he is dying to talk to everyone. He ended up with AS dx.

Like someone else said it could be a processing problem. DS understands one-step instructions starting with his Name first then coat, shoes, lunch, playtime etc. Give him a long sentence you can forget it lol

StabbyMacStabby · 01/06/2012 21:28

From what I've read, impairment in imagination actually relates to social imagination, i.e. ability to put oneself in someone else's shoes, imagine what emotions, etc they might have at a particular experience. It isn't really just an ability for making stuff up (although that can be affected).

It's also untrue that people with autism cannot feel/express affection and are aloof and distant (as other posters' dc do demonstrate!).

Have you had his hearing checked various times because he blanks you sometimes?.... Wink

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