Teacher says "We know DD has autistic traits, but don't get her labelled". Anyone agree?

[detoxneedednow]

Hi

Ok, long story short, DD(5) has always shown signs of asd, but school haven't noticed it until very recently. However, now they're backtracking and saying that they've always known she's different even though i've asked them so many times if she stands out and they have said no, she's just like any child

Anyway, enough's enough, wait and see stage over, i've made an appointment to see the paed.

Her teacher asks me this morning if I was really thinking about getting her a diagnosis and I explained that given the latest, I don't have a choice. Her reaction was "yes, dd is showing signs of autism, but a label is pointless because we can help her without a diagnosis. It's unnecessary." I was obviously quite stunned at this comment. She then went on to say "she wouldn't get the funding anyway?" When DD first started we had an IEP meeting as was told that because she was doing so well, she didn't need any extra support, but if things take a turn for the worse(as they have) then they have the funds available.

So, my main question is, can a child who has a mild ASD get through life without a diagnosis if school are aware they need extra guidance and support, ie social stories etc. I'm not bothered about the label side of things, because it's not like anybody I don't want to know has to know, or that she has to have AUTISM tatooed across her forehead.

Am I cynical for thinking that the only reason they don't want me to send in a paed for a proper assessment, is because they don't want to delve into the pot so to speak? Or could it really be that they don't think it's necessary because they believe she can have the appropriate support without a diagnosis?

Really appreciate any advice, experiences etc.

Thanks for reading.

Seek diagnosis. From a mum of a high functioning asd child, it has given us the leverage to get the best help for him. That's not much help, I have to say, but he DOES have the condition and had he just been classed as naughty or disruptive, he'd not have done as well as he has.

Yes we have good support (ABA). It took 2 years of fighting to get it but we are very lucky.
I would say that girls friendships tend to get much more complex and sophisticated much younger so I think it can be harder for girls because the bar is that much higher. Without grossly generalising the level of conversation tends to be more involved with girls. That said mainstream staff often don't know how to teach social skills well anyway.
If you don't want a dx then you can look to learn as much as you can or consider some out of school support e.g. ABA, private SALT etc
But then having a dx and being able to get DLA etc does help fund all the books and courses etc...
The other thing is that for a mildly affected child if you wait and don't get a dx but feel later on she does need one then she is going to be much more aware of all the assessments etc whereas as this age they don't really notice / think its normal. With older children sometimes they feel there must be something wrong with them if they have to see Drs etc and it can be easier to get it out of the way younger when they will take in a lot less about what is going on.
If you wait until she is very aware of her differences then it may be more stressful for her.

Sorry, havent read the whole thread, but OP: I think this is an irresponsible thing to say and I would automatically strike that teacher off as a complete numpty.

What happens if you have a disagreement with the school about their methods or the level of support she is getting? What if key staff change? What if the school becomes unsuitable down the line? What happens when she goes to secondary school? What if her behaviour changes or gets worse?

Of course you need a diagnosis, which will accurately describe her 'condition', but also her difficulties, to anyone who works with her in future.

I would also think about applying for Statutory Assessment at some stage.

Whatever you do, do not take the school's word for anything again. You can still have a perfectly civil relationship with them, but seek a range of expert opinions and above all, trust your own instincts about your daughter's needs.

Good luck.

detox, I think they are changing the whole dx naming structure (maybe already have?) so that AS doesn't exist as a separate identity anymore, just a single autism dx. When DS was dx-ed, it was AS if no speech delay, HFA if a speech delay. I think they are changing the categories as people seem to think Aspergers, oh that's just a quirky kid, no real problems, when it isn't actually the case.

DS always used to be the odd one (well to a point he still is) but he has recently been attending a little social skills group in the school. At the end all the children had to write a word/phrase to describe the other children. Some of the words used to describe DS nearly made me cry they were so lovely :). They seem to accepted him odditities and all.

Diagnosis makes it easier to explain to her in the future. Partly because mums are mums and nobody listens to their mum, esp ASD kids haha, but if there is documentary evidence signed off by health professionals that is real and concrete. The reports that go with it also make for interesting reading years later when you might've forgotten just how hard life is right now! My DS was only DX'd 4yrs ago and is beautifully behaved nowadays but I look at that report and think bloody hell, I must really be quite a strong person!

Whether or not she gets funding, if she is statements the school is legally obliged to help her according to the terms of the statement.

They may not be happy abut providing this out of their own pocket, and the cynic in me does wonder why so many parents are told by schools that a statement makes no difference. It makes a world of difference, it turns the help the school provides if they feel like it, into help the school has to provide whether they feel like it or not.

Sorry, rambled a bit there. What I'm saying is YOU deserve all the benefits that a DX brings. DX is as much about the family as the person with ASD, it is recognition that you do have a harder job than most parents, that siblings may have more to learn and understand than other kids, that you are already a SN family and you need people to understand that so why not add an official label, rather than struggling along with the unquantifiable, inexplicable whole-family-self-image that goes along with unDX'd ASD.

We have a statement. It was really hard to get. The ed psych at the school advised "you don't really need one". Thank god I didn't listen to him, because it's been invaluable.

I think, and I could be wrong here, that getting statements without a dx means there must be profound difficulties. But then, if the difficulties are that profound, a dx is usually in place ??

Haven't gone through whole thread but my quick answer: definitely get going on diagnosis. We got ours in May, it took a year to carry out, and I have absolutely no regrets. So far, it has only opened doors and oiled wheels!