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Original poster

Aspergers has an Ass in it

19 replies

coff33pot · 30/05/2012 23:39

Exactly that just incase anyone didnt know!

Have been talking to ASD Team. Long story but cutting it short DS is now out of school of hell. He never went back after the trip fiasco.

Anyhow on way out in car with DS they rang and he overheard my convo in that I wanted an urgent meet over coffee somewhere. I am trying to sort out transition stuff for next school as there is a meeting coming up which I am not inviting present crap school. They just dont count in my thoughts anymore.

DS asked what was ASD Team? So I gave him the current run down of who they were etc and that they are nice and are going to help mummy and DS together to help school understand us better and that sometimes its hard for DS. He was happy with this and said that would be great because I am fed up being told I am faking it or I am useless ()

I chose the timing to try and talk to ds about his dx for the first time thinking its just me and him and maybe that will help him stop battling with himself a bit.

I said remember when we went to london etc well we have now found out that ds brain is wired differently to some children, but there are loads of children like ds. that this is why ds finds it hard sometimes to understand people, concentrate etc etc. anyhow he was fine and interested till I mentioned the Aspergers word (didnt get to mention the rest lol)

I got ASPERGERS!!!!! MUM!!! the doctor MUST be wrong then he whispered asssberrgerrs quietly and said yep! Its a rude word its got an ASS in it mum tell the doctor to spell it better as I am going to get into loads of trouble with that word!

Totally refused to talk anymore....Ideas? Anyone?

OP posts:

Triggles · 30/05/2012 23:51

Aren't they changing AS to HFA? Would he be more receptive to that description?

WetAugust · 30/05/2012 23:57

Asp - as in the snake (if he's into natural history)

bochead · 31/05/2012 00:11

That's why we just use the term autistic in our house

At this age they only need to understand neuro-difference - the exact semantics isn't important.

Remember the ex's co-morbid affliction of "watless arseholitis" ?

MelJLincs · 31/05/2012 00:19

Hello, I used to post on here a while ago when DD2 now 11 was first dx'd with HFA. Not been on for a while due to various things (esp. trying to do an MA while working full time with 2 DD's). Been lurking a bit again recently (now I am not writing essays in the middle of the night ). We had exactly the same with DD. Actually the paed has written HFA on diagnosis, and was using the word autism in front of her - and she was listening. She was 8yrs at the time (not sure how old your DS is?). We found her googling ottism so had to explain something to her. We were trying to explain that she is like her cousin who has a diagnosis of aspergers, but she had a fit about aspergers - 'I don't want something with asses and burgers in it' she said. She has refused ever since to accept that word as refferring to her. But is ok with autism (she now knows how to spell it!). In our area they are no longer using aspergers as a diagnosis as far as I know, so that helps as teachers, professionals etc. use the word autism or ASD or HFA. But lots of the books/resources that would be most relevant/useful for her say aspergers and she will not accept them with that word which does make it difficult sometimes. I end up buying them for ideas and then writing something for her based on them using the words she is happy with. Can you just use the term ASD to describe it to him if he dislikes the word aspergers, especially as you have already mentioned the ASD team?

WetAugust · 31/05/2012 00:37

I quite like 'Aspergers Syndrome'. It's a sensible description - i.e. a collection of behaviours/symptoms discovered by Herr Asperger. It's totally non-judgemental.

Hate 'autism'. has very negative connotations for me as it includes Kanners autism (which is very different to Aspergers Syndrome).

Also hate 'ASD' becaue of the disorder part. It's only a disorder compared to orderly NTs. DS himself is not disordered - it's just the way he is.

Also hate 'High Functioning Autism' as it implies that autism is normally not high functioing i.e. low functioning.

Also Aspergers Syndrome, now it has become more widely known is often perceived as quite a positive condition. When I tell people DS has Aspergers the response is often 'Ooh - he must be very clever'.

If I tell people he has autism they look at me pityingly.

ThoughtBen10WasBadPokemonOMG · 31/05/2012 06:46

Could it be "Az burgers" rather than "Ass burgers" for him?

Oh silly mummy DS2, I pronounced it wrong?!

Would that work?

FallenCaryatid · 31/05/2012 07:04

So do astounding and astonishing.
Point out to him that the spelling matters, it doesn't have a double s.
Let him choose the term he's comfortable with, mine has called himself an Aspie for years.

TheLightPassenger · 31/05/2012 08:04

well done for pulling him out after the trip incident. Agree with Fallen, see if spelling/literacy explanation would work.

andperseand · 31/05/2012 11:47

We have the same problem here with 'ass' and 'burger' but DS insists on me saying Asperger with a 'p', and a soft 'g' so as-per-jers not as-per-gers. which from a quick Google is closer to the correct German pronunciation anyway I think. And if you emphasise the p a bit it avoids it sounding like it begins with ass, and more like 'as'.

Also try him with All Cats have Aspergers - my DS is very into 'cute' animals and loves this book. Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome is good too. And my old favourite, and how DS diagnosed himself, the Arthur episode 'Carl and the missing jigsaw piece' which you can find on YouTube.

StarlightMaJesty · 31/05/2012 12:01

Oh coff. Tricky times, but thank GOD he is out of that school!

jandymaccomesback · 31/05/2012 17:04

Could be worse. When DS told our neighbour's son he had Asperger's the son replied "You've got Arseburger's? What's that". Luckily at the time DS found rude words funny...

jandymaccomesback · 31/05/2012 17:18

andperseand there is no soft g in German.

FallenCaryatid · 31/05/2012 17:24

The name has become anglicised, and can be pronounced in either way when describing the syndrome rather than Hans A himself.
America prefers the hard g.

ThoughtBen10WasBadPokemonOMG · 31/05/2012 18:38

I have a disability affecting my arms and hands.

DS said to me today "Mummy, you have Asperger's at your hospital appointments". "Pardon?" "Well you have difficulty doing stuff"

I think I need to do a bit more explaining. Not quite sure he has taken it in!

andperseand · 31/05/2012 18:56

Jandy - just shows I should never trust what I Google

Original poster

coff33pot · 31/05/2012 18:58

Thanks for all the ideas! First chance I have had today to come on here been a bit manic also its our 15th Wedding Anniversary Crystal I think :) and todays present was DS Maudsley dx draft report dropped on the door mat. Ho hum.

Anyhoooow They have definately used Aspergers dx as opposed to HFA plus the rest as in ADHD, Tourettes and Specific Learning Diff in reading and writing and a few other co morbids.

I think I will try the astounding and astonishing fallen see where that gets me :)

He was interested in the fact his brain was wired different he took that very well. Said I thought we went to london because I was naughty so I told him no it was to help us because DS gets anxious and has a hard job understanding some things. I could tell by his face as he was more relaxed as if he had been battling with difference and behaviour iyswim so I am glad I did try to talk to him and some of it will help him at least. I told him the only thing different is that DS is as smart as the next person but we all need help to help him learn not to get upset and for others to learn how to understand DS. So he seems happy with that. I dont think I have done damage and at least when he meets these people he will feel the assurance that they want to help him not punish him like school have.

No star there is no way he is going back to that hell hole. Purely working on transition from home to Juniors. Keeping positive not dealing with the negative :)

OP posts:

TheLightPassenger · 31/05/2012 19:01

Happy anniversary. Glad to hear that telling your DS about the DX appears to have been a real relief to him, so that he no longer thinks of himself as naughty.

starfish71 · 31/05/2012 19:07

Really glad to hear your DS is not in that terrible school anymore. Congratulations on your anniversary! :)

DS1 finding it hard to accept the'label of aspergers' and DS2 is happy having me read the all cats have book so I do believe you have to try and go with the flow.

Original poster

coff33pot · 31/05/2012 21:21

Thanks for the congrats :) Not doing much just celebrating with a cuppa

had some nice flowers and chocs from DH and we are going on a day trip with the children next week as I prefer family parties :)

I am just going to gradually tell him bits I think as he is only just turning 7. I will wait and see if he asks more after he has met asd team and then help him further if needs be.

OP posts:

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