Even though you know, it's still a blow to have it confirmed

[Changethatbulb]

or is that just me?

I've known one of my DS's is autistic. I finally got confirmation today. I feel empty, sad, tearful.

My other DS is being referred for possible Aspergers.

Gutted. Just gutted. First DS has cancer. Isn't that enough?

Pity party, but just for today. I shall re-group and come back tomorrow. Both DS's are already in a SN school due to GDD and other issues so the diagnosis changes nothing.

Christ, people have it worse than me.

Am going off to cinema to watch shitetastic film while their carer has the kids for a bit. Thank god for Direct Payments.

When you hear the dx part of you is crying inside, 'say it isn't so, Joe'.

There's a time for carrying on, and being brave, and turning your back on self-pity.

And there's a time for mourning the child you haven't got, and the life he won't have, and your hopes that it would all have been different, and your dreams about what might have been. That time is now. Don't feel you have to slap yourself: you've just had an almighty one in the form of the dx.

Enjoy the shitetastic (love that word) film.

Lots of sympathy , yes it is always a shock and I find the only upside of bad news is often eveidence building for better provision so can see why iit feels worse that it doesn't change anything.

I often do the same with a time limit, it does seem to help. Have lots of ice cream and sweet at the cinema.

It is still a shock,

It took us 3.5 yrs to get a dx for Dd3 and sometimes I virtually jumped up and down and shouted art the proffs.

I was 99% certain she had ASD but after the psychiatrist told me I went numb. I felt empty inside and strange for about a week.

It was so right for Dd3 to be diagnosed and her school life has imroved so much. But even so it was very hard to hear.

Be kind to yourself and eat chocolate. Oh and enjoy the film.

I think this is some thing that im probally going to go threw in the nxt week or so, dd has been for a 2 day assessment, they phoned today and talked about, im now sat here in eager to read the report and it cant come quick enough for me to see on how much we were right about, im hoping that they have picked up and dx some form of ASD, but i also know that once iv read it its going to be a final reality slap for all of her problems.

Thank you ladies.

The film was ok and took my mind off stuff for 83 minutes.

I know autism isn't the end of the world but with his other problems I feel responsible for not making him right iyswim. And now his brother as well.

Anyway. Onwards and upwards. I am strong. I knew this was coming and at least he is already in a SN school and has support. That is something I am very grateful for.

Now I have just got to get home and not cry in front of the Carer. ;)

I cried for weeks when we got the diagnosis. We have to be strong for our children, they need us to be strong. You sound like a great mum. I still cry at dd when I look at her. I can't even bear to look at her baby pics thinking what did I do wrong? Diagnosis is the beginning of a long road. Hope u feel better soon xxx

So sorry. It sucks doesn't it. The last bit of hope dashed. And you evidently have enough on your plate as it is. It's not fair is it, why do some families get dealt such dreadful hands.

Lots of tonight. So sorry.

Oh it hits hard no matter how prepared you are. I allowed myself a few days pity fest no point in pretending your not gutted and upset. Then I ignored it for a week and then I took a deep breath and started doing what needed to be done.

Thank you all so much. Your posts have really helped me.

I have been a bit feeble today but not as bad as yesterday. My sister e-mailed to ask how I was (she is abroad). I said "I am trying very hard to look at DS and feel happiness instead of sadness. A diagnosis doesn't change who he is".

And yep, it doesn't help that he also has other stuff wrong with him, but..he's my son, I love him to bits and I should allow myself a little inner-sadness I suppose.

Thanks again.

xx

I agree its hard. Its a bit like a slap in the face only delayed till you get home and it hits you then x

Buy the biggest box choccies and sit with the kids and let them get smothered in the stuff whilst watching a good dvd. Bath time and hugs then for the adults later.

(((hugs))) Change

It is hard. Even 6 weeks after dx, I still have moments where I feel very sad about the dx.

Hope today brings you some happier moments.