How can I help dd to become less anxious and worried

[littlelegsmum]

Dd has high anxiety levels. She will pick scabs and more recentlly (past 5/6 months) has started to pick her scalp and pull hairs out.

I don't think knows each time she does it but it seems to be a daily thing rather than every so often, like at the beginning

She also worries about everything turning into a bad situation ie

Hubby and I talking - she says we always argue

Hubby driving (what she feels is too quick) - she thinks we will crash

If her brother says he's leaving home she gets upset and takes him seriously

If we are out with the dog, she's constantly shouting her name so she doesn't go too far to get hurt

The worst one is the weather. It can turn a little grey and she will get worked up and upset and if it rains thunders etc she's inconsolable - we usually have to sit on landing where there's no windows

Any help or advice is really appreciated

Littlegem, i have just realised that your dd is 11 years old (i know you had said this previously, but it didnt register!)

Have you asked her what she thinks about going to the gp?

Maybe she has a view on this ie she would/would not like to go? she would/would not like to show her sores? she would/would not like to talk to the gp?

Obviously her level of understanding should be taken into account, but if she has a view, i believe it should be listened to.

My ds would be mortified about showing anyone else his sores, especially the older he has got, he has been injuring himself for 2 and half years. I believe this is his body, his difficulty and any help or support he receives, he should have a say in, within reason, it should not just be something that is done to him.

Obviously i have taken him, when his sores have become infected, but i would take him and make him show his sores etc just to pacify someone else.

wouldnt take him and make him show his sores, that should read!

Hi Claw and thank you - Don't worry, sometimes it doesn't register with me either But that's just the way she acts!!

DD does know she's doing it but doesn't understand and wouldn't be able to explain to anyone why she does it.

I am very much the same as you and feel it's important that she is heard. However, i'm very aware that she will be extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't want (or be able to put it into words and) to tell someone what she is doing . . Catch 22 isn't it, but i'm not just going to roll over to please the doctors - i'll do what I know is best for her :)

If im honest, the first time ds started to hurt himself, it quickly became infected, so i had to take him to my gp to get antibiotics. He then ended up in hospital on iv antibiotics for 2 weeks, to prevent septicaemia and almost had to have a finger amputated as they thought the infection had spread to the bone. So my gp has had no choice, but to take it seriously.

If this didnt happen, maybe my gp would have been the same as yours. Which is why i was saying show willing, let them rule out any 'medical' reasons, but with no discussion as she doesnt know why.

But if your dd is adamant that she doesnt want to, then i dont see why she should be forced to, just to please a dr, if you know there is no medical reason.

Oh my word. I feel like i'm making a big deal now based on what you've just said about your DS

I think I will do as previous suggested. I will take her - purely to show these scars appearing on her head and say I am not willing to discuss in front of her. I may try and get her to write down how she feels, without trying to put words into her mouth.

She's had to take spare underwear into school today as she's got an upset stomach with worrying about the rain :(

Little, you are certainly not making a big deal, constant open sores can easily become infected, especially when picked at by fingers and especially when on the head or face area, as Impetigo is a bacteria which lives in the nose. A pick or touch of the nose, followed by such a short distance to pick at a sore on the face or head, bacteria survives. Ds got this, even with my constantly bathing, applying anti bacterial solution to his hands and with antibiotic cream on sores. It then progressed to oral antibiotics, which didnt touch it.

Didnt want to scare you, but this could happen to anyone. Even more reason, that you are certainly not making a big deal. Your gp should take your concerns seriously.

Writing down how she feels is a good idea and anxiety causing upset stomach is a good example of what you can tell your gp.

OK, I have spoken to DD's HV (who is also the school nurse) and she has spoke with DD a few times regarding her being a worrier. She asked me to go in and see her in the morning and said she WILL be referring her to CAMHS.

She does know that there are assessments regarding ASD/AS and as this is obviously a part of it that needs taking into consideration.

I'm going to take in all concerns regarding the worrying, anxious etc behaviour and she will do the rest.

Thanks Claw, i'm going to check over dd's hair and hopefull take some sneaky pics on my phone too!

Thats good news

I have to take photos of ds injuries from time to time, to prove lack of progress and increases in his behaviour. School previously reported not being aware of his self injury (despite my telling them about it and previously supplying them with photos and him constantly being smothered in sores for the last 2 and half years )

I tell him, i am taking them to show to the dr, to get more cream for his sores. As he really doesnt want to show anyone, its not a total lie.

Wish you the best of luck and hope your dd gets some help and support.

Thanks Claw. Forms were almost filled in by the time I got to the Clinic

She included the parts that I added as well as her views.

I have emailed the school the pictures and will continue to do so, as you do.

Really appreciate all the help and advice :)