Asd And ADHD and being a child

[yummymummyali]

ok so I just told of my asd ADHD son for playing with matches whilst playing out the front. He was with for other children. One who's older then him one the same age and two younger . I heard the other kids shout something about matches my hubby then got up to go outside but then heard one of the other child's mums ask them all if they had matches they all said no. I go outside to get my two in when I see he's in the bushes trying to strike the match on the match box. Obviously he was sent straight in then. What I'm even more cross at is none of the other child actually told the adult there was matches and my son was trying to light them. They were all just standing close watching him including my daughter.
It's took a lot of trust and time and effort for me to let my son play out the front with the neighbours kids. He started off going out with his meds for safety reasons , cars etc... But I got to a point where I could or I thought I could trust him without his meds.
Just feel cross angry at the other kids as much as him. What should I do?

You can't rely on other children to care for your son. If he's not safe to make good judgements, he's not safe, and I speak as a mother of a child with the same diagnosis, who only last week was playing with a lighter. As a result, he lost his right to be on a different floor to me. He has to stay downstairs.

Punish your son, but don't be angry with the other children because your son is not their responsibility.

I know he's not their responsibility but I'm cross they were all involved and none of them were responsible enough to get an adult. Even my own daughter. I can't decide weather he was acting as a "normal " child just like them. Or was it his ADHD or ass. My daughter said the child's mums who asked if there were matches was playing with them before I caught my son with them.
It's hard deciding what's the norm stuff all kids do or weather his sn's have anything to do with it. Coz underneath the hyper child there a 8yr old like any other.

I think the laying with matches stuff is normal, unfortunately the asd may mean that he will now obsess over getting hold of fire, as my son does. Good luck! I really do understand how you want to smother him in both senses of the word