Am I being (whisper it) unreasonable? - re childrens centre

[Firsttimer7259]

Pls be gentle because I feel ungrateful as it is.

So we have been offered childrens centre place BUT they want this to replace Ds nursery not her nanny. Her (private) nursery have been very proactive and supportive and if we give up the place they are very over subscribed so it would be hard to get back in. She is well settled there. Her nanny is ace but pregnant.
Another issue is that the children centre dont do full time places...I feel like I cant really take up what I am being offered. I really do need something that can become full time eventually.

Hmm the more I think about this the more I think this is a kind of double bluff. Offer us a space so that we have to refuse it and then they get to tick the 'we offered them a space' box. What business is it of theirs what other childcare I use to supplement what they decided on the basis of our circumstances we qualify for?

agree with zzz. if you are both happy with her current nursery, why change it.

We are struggling financially so some free childcare would make all the difference just now. I imagine/hope that when shes three we would just use the usual free childcare to help out with costs but thats still 8 months away. I cant look after her on my own - my H is ill and looking after her (and sometimes him too) is a lot of work.

Could you use a part time nanny plus the free childcare?

Are you getting your full benefit allowance?

Will the private nursery do the free 15hours for three year old thing? And I think in some circumstances you get 10hours at 2, have you applied for that?

I need to work to make some money - tbh its easier than looking after D. I find having time off from all of what is happening at home helpful. But work in my area has dried up so I am trying to do a bit of money work to help with outgoings and to buy a little time to do cv relevant work free if need be. Because H is ill I will need to get back into a career rather than just work soon so I need to try to keep my cv up to date. Unfortunately money work doesnt pay so well.

Purple I didnt know we might qualify for some free childcare hours before 3. the nursery qualifies for the after 3 stuff. I will look into this. If I could do a days work and a bit of evening and weekend then that will keep us going financially until shes 3/or I get a job in my field again. If there was just a little to help out that would be a way of making the sums add up.

I don't think its widely advertised, and I don't know what the criteria are. I've been temping in nurseries lately, which is how I know - at least one criteria is economic deprivation, so I guess that a disabled parent would give a strong case too? Do you have a social worker? Are they someone you can trust? And have you got a Statement for dd?

We have two mornings a week in a child and family centre and I chose to keep dd1 in her playgroup another two mornings a week as she was really settled. Various professionals have been really surprised that she's attending two places, though I pay for playgroup and I would have thought the socialising with other children was essential for dd1 to improve her communication and social skills (ASD).

We applied for a special place within a nursery for dd (3.4 years) for August. This application was refused by the council on the grounds that dd could be supported in mainstream nursery alongside child and family centre place. However every professional I've been in contact with has insisted dd will have to leave centre after summer hols and go mainstream! We don't know yet what help we'll get put in place for her - today it was suggested it could be as low as 2 1/2 hrs out of 13 nursery hours. Apparently it will be too confusing for dd to cope with two different settings! Seems fine currently to us all just now .

OP I would be wary too if I were you.

Can you ask about two year funding? You may be entitled to it. Also if your getting DLA and carers you should get some help via ctc.
If the children's centre can only offer those hours, then turn it down especially if her current nursery are doing a good job.
Also ask her current nursery if they have any full time funded places. It's not made available to all and most places use it for families in need. Hth

This is all really really helpful thanks. I will follow up and see.

seaweed They are all 'terribly' concerned that DD will be confused going to 2 places. I find it bizarre. Of course I will settle her in slowly but the one things she is is sociable. My expectation is that she would find it exciting and interesting - this is from observing her I was actually really nervous when she first started in childcare + nursery expecting her to be all overwhelmed but she loves it. Sure its a factor but my input on that should be properly weighed up.

I am feeling v skeptical about this childrens centre. I had also asked what proportion of the children have developmental issues as opposed to social/behavioural issues and was met with endless blather about confidentiality. Its no breach of confidentially to tell me its roughly 10%, 30% 50% and it lets me know what their default setting is. I am increasingly getting the impression they deal with a lot of kids with issues connected to deprivation and parental MH difficulties and are actually not that set up for a child with severe GDD. I find this to be a big issue with my portage person and wonder whether or LA is just set up like this.

What is emerging for me is: I will not try this unless its on my terms and if there are probs I wont hesitate to walk away from it sooner rather than later.