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Aspie husbands again...

19 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/05/2012 22:26

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1476328-Aspergers-Hubbies-is-there-an-opposite-condition

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bialystockandbloom · 21/05/2012 23:20

I just had to post to thank amberlight for posting a very thoughtful and enlightening post which hadn't been acknowledged yet as people were too busy doing a fun quiz. Probably a bit incongruous seeing as I hadn't posted on the thread up til then, but hey.

Also annoying that yet again the attitude was "oh dh has some unattractive qualities, he must have aspergers!". Grr.

Triggles · 22/05/2012 01:38

Having a partner with AS or being AS appears to be the new "trend." They toss about the term "aspie" as if they actually know what they're talking about.

sigh

If only all these children waiting years for an AS/ASD diagnosis could have just been brought to MN, I'm sure all these knowledgeable people (after all they've taken the TEST, and must be seriously knowledgeable now, right?) could have given them a dx on the spot. Hmm

tunafortea · 22/05/2012 07:41

Grin Triggles Grin

tunafortea · 22/05/2012 07:43

actually, even 'those diagnosers' might be better than some of the 'experts' we see

It is toooooooooooooooooo stupid tho' and I have heard it in the playground too: 'oh yes, my Dh was very Aspie this weekend, what a pity he doesnt look like Benedict Cumberbatch too, snarf snarf'. I was going to say something, but really, what can you say??????????????????

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2012 07:45

Yeah because Autistic = Cunt Angry

Ps I daren't read the thread, I'd self combust...

Triggles · 22/05/2012 08:06

I read it... then forced myself NOT to comment. The self-congratulations on "dx'ing" it and then the ongoing comments about "oh I might be" and "oh so and so might be" too.

Do these people not realise how much this is a slap in the face to those who have fought for YEARS to get a dx for their child? And who fight daily to get people to understand their child, rather than just jump to the conclusion that aspergers = mean, nasty, unfeeling?

I'd try to educate them, but I suspect some might question my teaching methods. Grin

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2012 08:28

Yeah, shame corporal punishment got banned Wink

bochead · 22/05/2012 10:33

The AS ex is in bits at present as his eldest is seriously ill overseas. It's just insulting to call him uncaring when he's been running himself ragged for months to try and help the lad, (literally hopping on and off a plane to come to the UK, raise the funds, take cash and get back on a plane & then do it over).

I'm sure you'll understand here just what an emotional toll the constant country hopping is having on the poor man. All those changes and transitions.

Not many NT Dad's could or would go to the lengths he has the last few months, & after his support last year for DS I'm of the firm opinion that the AS Dad is the Dad to have your back in a real crisis - just don't expect him to discuss Eastenders with you, or endure the caring carrots. (Bit sad really cos years after our split he starts reminding me why I ever fell in love with him in the first place).

Being uncaring has fook all to do with AS/ASD, if any stereotype is appropriate it's more along the lines of it being too damn easy for the NT bitch wife to take advantage of the AS hubby sometimes. Some of those posts, if read by the spouse are so insulting that the smug bints deserve to be divorced as a result.

When the crisis with his eldest is resolved DS & his Dad are off to tour a commercial bee-keeping facility together. Gotta love those obsessions Wink

Triggles · 22/05/2012 10:55

Perhaps we should ask MN for a new section... "I don't have a clue what this medical condition or mental health issue is, however, I am going to slag it off whilst accusing my OH of having it so I can feel better about myself..."

or is that too vague? Grin

Drives me just as mad as those that say "Oh, I'm a bit OCD" Hmm or the ongoing nonsense about "ADHD is just naughty children."

Can't tell I'm a bit wound up today?

Although, to be fair, I was watching Mary Poppins with DS3 this morning and got a right giggle at the Women Suffragette song where she was singing about men and said "although we adore them individually.. as a group we all agree they're rather stupid..." My oh my! And in a Disney film! Grin

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/05/2012 11:01

Smile Boch.

I suppose as a feminist it bothers me that misogyny is labelled ASD and then the bloke is excused as not being able to help it.

It is insulting to people with ASD AND to women, and, I guess to some exent to the man in question.

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Triggles · 22/05/2012 11:08

Star you wonderful wonderful person you!! You've made us a new playground. THIS should be interesting.

Of course, they'll be offended, you know. Because an armchair diagnosis is as good as anything out there! Hmm

bochead · 22/05/2012 13:31

Gonna go geet mesen some popcorn for Star's thread.

Did that AQ test on the other thread and scored 34!!!! Am I AS? ooooooh panic, panic(I know full well I'm not, just an anti-social biatch).

Triggles · 22/05/2012 15:33

I got 37. lol But I think because of our lives with children with SNs, it skews our answers.

Triggles · 22/05/2012 15:34

for example, I enjoyed meeting people when I was younger, but don't now as much because often it's the whole "explain DS2's SNs" conversation over and over when the children are along. IYSWIM

WetAugust · 22/05/2012 17:08

42 here. You can be Aspie and and unhelpful arsehole. I married one.

ArthurPewty · 22/05/2012 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bochead · 22/05/2012 18:01

Totally tongue in cheek here:-

I've referred many a time to a little recognised condition known as watless (useless & worthless don't cover it) arseholitis (I'm sure every woman recognises these symptoms!). It is more than possible to have watless arseholitis as a condition wholly seperate to or co-morbid with AS/HFA.

Just in case anyone is unsure symptoms of WA may include but are not resticted to:-
infidelity
spending all one's money on oneself while ignoring necessities for one's kids
excessive drinking
utter selfisness and expecting the world to revolve around oneself
bone idleness
mysogyny & sexism
expecting her indoors to run herself ragged while indulging in one's own leisure pursuits/workaholism etc.
pathological lying
inability to mature emotionally past 12 years old
inability to accept the responsibilities of adulthood
being a twat.
Manipulative so & so

I'm sure my list of possible WA symptoms is not exhaustive and that others will be able to identify many other symptoms, either in their own partner or those that their friends have had the misfortune to become involved with. None of the above though bear any relation to the triad of impairments required to obtain a diagnosis of ASD or even traits. Wink

I personally think my new diagnosis WA should forthwith be adopted by women throughout the land whenever appropriate on relationship threads.

(Just for the record my ex has a formal AS diagnosis & sadly meets my new innovative self-diagnostic criteria for WA).

FallenCaryatid · 22/05/2012 18:29

You should post your criteria for watless arseholitis on the relationships board.
It could enlighten so many. You owe it to the deluded and misinformed masses.

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