WWYD - sports and SN

[Lolaismyfavouriteandmybest]

Dd is never going to be good at sports. She is partially sighted. Has poor depth perception and poor periferal vision. The condition she has is hereditary and my DM and I are affected.

My DM is very involved with DD and is pushing her to practice ball sports and to learn to ride a bike! I found ball sports traumatic at school (being routinely hit with a rounders ball you can't see coming for example) and had many many bike crashes (into parked cars and lamp posts) I feel that with the increased traffic on the roads it is not safe for DD to ride a bike on the streets. DM disagrees. I think that DD should not have to do ball sports and should concentrate on sports where her vision will not be so much of an issue, DM has her constantly throwing and trying to catch balls (in the house!) and insists she must do these sports at school as she gets older.

Am I being over protective? I feel I am frankly lucky to be alive considering the things I was allowed to do as a child. (i was expected to ride a bike on a busy main road, I am registered blind) DM feels that pushing me to do everything the other children did despite my poor vision made me the independent successful woman I am and that DD will not grow up with the same ethic if I restrict the things she should do.

Do you limit what your kids are expected to attempt? Or do you let them find their own limits (and hope they don't get badly hurt in the process)

I think you're right . I think life is too short to be pushed into something that you are never, ever going to be good at when you could spend it doing things that you enjoy and can be good at.

Thanks. But is catching a ball a life skill? Or something that can be opted out of?

I can see where your DM is coming from but at the end of the day your DD will only get frustrated doing things she finds so difficult (if not dangerous) when she could be spending her time and energy on things she can enjoy and be good at. I,m with you on this one.

Blimmin balls?

Why the obsession of so many with balls?

If she needs coordination practice then martial arts, dance, trampolining, swimming even........

I'ld get some medical backup as to what is a genuine safety issue. Does your DD actually enjoy doing ball sports/riding a bike? Star raises a good point about the oodles of other sports that your DD could try out.

is there no half way point? Just thinking that your dd may not want to have to sit out some pe lessons when she's older, is there a way of adapting now so she can have access to these things later? Colour/size of ball, one that makes a noise? Dd3(6) has a VI and loves playing catching, she has a wicked throw on her thanks to physio Riding a bike on the road really doesn't sound safe but if she wants to learn then the park would be a much better place!

personally, we try not to limit dd3, she's always encouraged to join in with our other children but we adapt to her abilities, there's not much she won't give a go.

You don't say how old your DD is. But I think if she is young and wants to learn to ride a bike, then you should encourage it in a safe environment. Then when she is older, she will probably decide that she doesn't want to do it - probably after falling off one too many times. One of my DS's friends (15) has a VI and although he rode a bike when small, he accepts that it is beyond his limitations now, so hasn't had a bike for a few years.

I agree with Star, there are lots of other sports that your DD could be encouraged to take part in which will help her co-ordination and be fun but which will not set her up to fail, so she can actually enjoy them.

In the same way, we have had to find sports/activities for our DS (who has ASD) which he can enjoy as he hates football, rugby and in fact any team game with a passion. He was destined to be a couch potato and hate PE lessons at school, but now willingly takes part as his love of swimming, climbing and going to the gym have improved his fitness, co-ordination and most of all confidence, so he no longer feels like a hopeless case in PE lessons.

Lets face it, as adults, we rarely choose to take part in things we know we are no good at, why choose to make our children do something that is not necessary, they already have enough challenges in life - leisure activities should be fun!

with ds2 we dont opt out of any sports at school, he ahs to have a go. I think there are plenty of kids at school who are rubbish at PE &not keen at school.
We dont make him do anything out of school as i think extra stuff should be for enjoyment & out of choice. there are plenty of bats & balls & stuff in the garden & opportnity to join in with his brother, but he chooses not to so thats fine.
as for riding a bike he can pedal or steer, they two together is still a work in progress, he also has vision issues with depth & speed etc so we practice on the path in the park. TBH i cant see him ever being safe enough to ride a bike.

Is you dd vision good enough to drive a car (if she were old enough) if not i would say she shouldnt be riding a bike in the road.