Typical teenager or something more?

[babyinarms]

Hi just looking for piece of advice about my niece. she is 13 so hormones everywhere! However my sis at wits end with her at the mo. She has always been a very difficult child, very highly strung and never really outgrew her tantrums.Still having them now. She is very difficult to reason with, will not listen to anyone! She is now yelling at her parents telling them she hates them etc . She also has a very selfish streak and everything has to be about her. She is doing well at school , never a problem keeping up, but has a very disorganised nature. Always forgetting something she needs for school etc, this is a constant source of agro at home for her.
Jus t wondering is this all normal teenager behaviour or could they all be signs of something else going on? Sis thinking of having her seen by someone but not sure where to start.

What you have described, babyinarms,could have been written about my son who is 13 and was diagnosed last year with ASD-highfunctioning .I would advise getting a referral from her GP for an assessment with a child psych. Go privately if needs be as it will save loads of time on a waiting list. We did this last year as ds was 12 and we felt he was too old to just linger on a waiting list.So glad we did now as he is getting support at school and we finally understand why he is like he is.

Thats what I'm thinking too! I think things are reaching breaking point at home for them, constant arguing . No punishment seems to phase her, she still persists with the bad behaviour. My sister feels that my niece lacks empathy too. However my sis DH does not want to have her assessed as he doesnt think its a major problem! My sis in tears on phone yesterday over all this and believe me she is not one to cry easily! Very concerned at the moment :( .

My DS has been diagnosed recently with specific language impairment so i kinda understand their fear of assessments but as with you its the best thing we did as i'm so much more patient now with DS and understand him so much better!

Thanks, I will try to talk with her.

Funnily enough, my dh didnt see any need either for ds to be assessedand he still doesnt really 'get' ds as much as I do. Its my constant reading,gathering information,chatting on here etc that has taught me most about ds and his condition-I also think he has Aspergers but he wasnt dx with this as he had a speech delay until 3 years of age. I insisted on the assessment saying 'well, if they find nothing wrong then that will be great and will put my mind at rest etc etc'. It will certainly do no harm. My son would also be impossible to reason with,lacks empathy, takes everything literally, has very angry outbursts at slightest thing,is hopelessly disorganised and always forgetting things, is obsessive about certain things but has no problem accademically. If I hadnt insisted on getting him assessed he would be so much worse off now at 13. Men tend not to be as 'tuned in' as us I think. Hope this helps. Tell your sister to post on here-the advice here I have recieved over the past year has been invaluable! Some really wise words and lots of support from very experienced mums who know the system inside out and lots of professionals post here also. Good luck

Thank you so much Bluebellina, I'm so happy that your DS is doing so well for you!
Yeah some men for some reason don't really like to think there is anything wrong! But I think in this case burrying your head in the sand will solve nothing!
My niece also obsesess about her piano ! When she is playing it, the house could fall down around her and she wouldnt notice!
I will try to get her to check in here as I'm sure she has a much better idea of the ins and outs as she is living it not me!
Thank you so much, will def talk to sis and hopefully she can talk her DH around!

Thats my sis I will get to check in here not my niece :)

By the way , baby, its much busier here during the week-far more traffic!

Thanks bluebellina will check in during the week also! Thanks again:)