Both my children . . Similar issues . . Different behaviours and levels of anxiety.

[littlelegsmum]

Well, not really sure where to start.

Dd is 11 and recently - been given a SALT ability to that of a 6.5 yr old - been told that she has mild dyslexia and we (parents) are pushing for poss asd. Which is why we know the details we do from private assessments.

Ds is 9 and since beginning of year, his school have been concerned about his 'weird' behaviours . . We pushed for something with local clinic a few years ago but after a five minute chat, with him, decided he was fine!

Anyway, ds and dd go to seperate schools due to dd being left vulnerable at school.

Dds school have only had dd since September and not noticed any behaviour. . Yet I've since spoke with senco from old school who seems to understand and acknowledge my concerns for her. She:

Loves school rules and strict regime of school
Plays with younger/immature or 'different' children
His very anxious
Has a weird phobia with rain/cloud/thunder and lightening
Will only eat certain types of foods (I.e. macs nuggets or Heinz Tom sauce certain bottle)
Has no idea of time or passing time
Can never remember anything she's done recently
Doesn't like the feel of certain clothes/socks/tights
Doesn't like hugs and is not touchy feely child

Ds school are great and filled in every form possible to get him referred to correct people. They've filled in lasc, BIST, ASD and CAF forms. . He is more noticeable with his behaviours which consist of:

Inappropriate cheekiness to adults
Does not like teachers changing
Always needed a routine
Always been 'high maintenance'
Seems to like songs with the word 'sex' in them and I've had to discuss his use of the word numerous times!
Always fidgeting, on edge of seat
Gets fixated with the task in hand - yet other times seems too easily distracted
Seems to have an eagerness for people his age to like him
Very closed book at school and doesn't like anyone to know these difficulties
Seems to notice any smells
Recently been saying he's fat/ overweight and wants scales. . He's very slim, fit and active

Now I've really been pushing for dd as we don't have backup of school and she's starting high school this year.

I've not been as pushy but kept on top of appointments and chasing up as ds behaviour is more extreme.

I'm sorry for the long post but these are the few things ive just thought of - I've got a huge list! Any advice is welcomed and appreciated.

Hello littlelegsmum. Nice to see you here from the SATs threads. My DS2 has ASD and is in a MS secondary in Y7, DS3 is super quirky but not likely to need a DX in Y5. I'm busy doing an early tea as DS3 has a recorder concert tonight, but I'll catch up with you later.

Hi littlegsmum. I also have 2 children with similar issues.

Dd1 had rigid routines, no concept of danger, talked at people, was funny about clothes, struggled with friends.

Dd3 has rigid routines, high levels of anxiety about loads of things, used to be a runner, only wears a small variety of clothing, only eats or drinks specific brands of many things and can tell if it is a different one, struggles with friends.

I could go on and on, Dd1 is 23 now and doesnt live at home, she has no dx but i think she has aspergers.

Dd3 is 9 and has recently been dxed with ASD. We had to push and push to get her difficulties recognised because she does well academically.

I would reccomend keeping a diary of any unusual/ quirky behaviours or issues, what caused them and how you dealt with them. You need to show that you parent consistantly where possible other wise they sometimes try to blame parenting.

I found that the proffs took more notice of the diary than anything else i said. Make sure you time and date it too.

Good luck

Sorry ladies, I lost this thread

Hi Ellen, yes it makes a change . . Any personal experiences are great, thank you.

Hi ineedalife and thank you.

I'm very frustrated with myself now as I've started writing things down but not in date/time order so I hope I've not delayed anything there.

Dd has been referred by health visitor and we've got an initial appointment in June.

Ds has been seen by Camhs who said they'd be referring on to community paed, but changed their mind and re sent another appointment for this week to assess and offer support.

Do I mention I have concerns about dd or do I keep them both seperate?

I am sure not dating stuff wont delay anything. Keep what you have done under the heading of general observations and then begin to date stuff from now. Then you will gather some current and specific info.

As for whether to mention you Dd, I definitely would. They may not suggest seeing her at cahms but at least they will be aware that you are seeing the same type of issues in both your children.

Good luck and dont worry about losing the thread, it happens to me all the time

Yes I agree. When I was going through dx with ds3 we were fast tracked because ds2 already had a dx. I literally rang ds2's consultant and said look I'm having worries about ds3 and she said ok bring him in. I assumed it was because they knew I was up on what to look out for and the fact that ds2 had a dx meant that ds3 was more predisposed.

Some 11yrs later they are both very similar in some respects and very different in others ds2 (16) at sn school about to move to sn 6th form ds3 (14) mainstream indie about to embark on 10 gcse courses and off out at a party tonight albeit he didn't want to go what with the noise the crowd and over excitement but didn't want to be left out.

So I would definitely mention your dd. I made notes too - its so easy to forget to mention things at appts so I had them as a memory jogger. Also when there are 101 things going on in the house, it is difficult to remember when you get asked how long you have noticed things for. If its written down the answer is there.

Thank you both so much.

I guess I worry what they'll think. Or maybe worry that they'll think I'm making things up about both of them. I'm a worrier too but want to make sure I do the right thing for both my children.

I have got some recordings of both of them and they are safe

Isn't it awful that we go to such behaviors as recording their behaviors just do people believe us. :)