I am sorry you are dealing with this. it does (ime) get better/easier over time - not least because the initial shock has worn off, iyswim?
how old is your ds? I wouldn't necessarily hold out for an accurate assessment of whereabouts on the spectrum he is - my dd1 was dx'd at 2.6 - she was, at that point, severe - no communication, no interest in anythign at all, unable to engage her for the shortest of times. she has a general ASD dx. she is now 7, and doing fabulously well, after a lot of hard work (on her part mostly, as well as ours)
it sounds as though the diagnosis was recent - do take some time to absorb it. dd1 had been in the system for nearly 2 years by the time I finally had someone say the words 'she is autistic' to me. I had known it for ages, and was pushing for the dx. I still walked out of the appointment and cried. lots. because that last tiny, teeny shred of hope had been taken away - it takes time to readjust to news like this, so be kind to yourself.
imo, the best source of info is MNSN. there is the largest range of expereince here, and posters who talk straight. neither of which I have found from any other website, or paed, or ASD outreach etc.
what you do next very much depends on how old your ds is - is he at school yet? pre school? does he need extras support there if he is? depending on whereabouts in the country you are, services vary. as do things like Statementing processes and assessments. it is along road, and it is a marathon, not a sprint - don't knock yourself out trying to do everything all at once.