Thoughts please

[insanityscratching]

Four days after I get the final statement ds leaves me a note to say he wants to leave school. It hasn't been my finest hour it has to be said as I was somewhat upset and told him I was very cross Warned school that I had upset him (I'm never angry with him) and they have worked with him today trying to find out why he wants to leave when he is happy there and he is doing so well. and his only reason is that he is fed up.
School phoned at home time on ds's request because he wanted to know if he was safe to come home This from ds who has in the past beat me black and blue, is a foot taller than I am and who I have never ever smacked or even raised my voice to!!!! Thankfully school know what a softie I am (I made him Krispie cakes today because I felt bad ) and so weren't concerned.
So why does he want to leave when he's happy whilst there, happy when he gets home, has mates, is more relaxed than he has been in years and isn't wanting to be elsewhere.
Answers on a postcard please.

Is he doing it to provoke a reaction from you for some reason?

Sorry if I'm way off. xxx

Is it because it IS going really well and he is so used to being upset about something or other that its become the norm and he isnt used to this happy stuff yet?

Only thinking because I know DS battles with himself on "being good" as he puts it and is in total shock everytime I praise him which usually follows with "I dont know if I can do this tomorrow"

I don't think so because he wouldn't have predicted that I'd be cross with him because I never am generally. He's not one who likes drama and he would know I'm not likely to give him attention for self pity so don't think he did it for a reaction tbh.

coff you could be onto something there. He's been under extreme stress for the last few years and suddenly it's all gone. The school is very calm and stress free, he's never put under any pressure, everything he does is because he chooses to do it and if he chooses not to then that's ok too they just give him more time, more reassurance and more preparation. They have been handling him with kid gloves because he was a wreck. I wonder if he is actually missing the adrenalin that he has been living with for years?

I guess it must be frightening when things are no longer a high level battle or strain. Then how do you justify yourself, your feelings etc. And what excuses do you have?

Does he need a new out of school challenge?

He could be insanity.

I know with ds that he is so used to it going wrong or part of the day going wrong its must become like a routine for them as in "this is where I get stressed now"

With school ds has worked out what to expect and when and runs for it because he knows its coming (till they finally understand him its always going to happen) OR if they change routine or teacher then meltdown ensues.

If the TA remarks on it being a really good day, he walks out spellbound with a wide eyed suspicious "that didnt go right" sort of look on his face lol which is usually an arts and crafts day.

Simple things at home like having such a hard day and then dd comes in and he will aggrivate her because he has had no control all day. I removed that by having ds engrossed in something the same time she comes in. At the end of the first evening I gave him a sticker because he hadnt upset his sister. At first it was panick because his day hadnt gone to plan then lol because he ALWAYS waited behind the door to aggrivate. It took a few days for him to get used to the fact that he was changing and it was for the good iyswim.

I suppose he's got nothing now to distract him from himself. The school give all their pupils a good understanding of autism ds is hugely resistant to even acknowledging he has autism and one of his first concerns was that he couldn't hide from autism there. I suppose now he has an environment in which he can thrive he's left with the autism rather than the stress to distract him. Maybe that's why he's fed up as well.