Help! :( failed system worried mum -repost

[Zelti]

from the start. H is 9 almost 10. hes has aspergers syndrome with ADHD. no medication as the adhd meds will bring out the aspergers even more.

H is one of a twin,from the first nursery days theres always been an apparent problem,out burst and tantrums,nursery decided they couldnt cope and lowerd his days to a couple of hours only.

reception, and things got worse, specialist were brought in nothing was decided,myself and the school constantly battled to express our concerns for special needs and some kind of diagnosis.

5 years later H finally gets statmented,but its not enough,his problems persist and my self and the school again express our concerns for something bigger help to be done for him.
hundreds of specialist later and im gettin angry,no one sees H as being disabled,his annual statement reviews are a broken record of us saying the same thing.

one day i get shouty after years of being quiet,and i demand casbat to get involved to make a diagnosis for aspergers syndrome...several months later and several calls to me saying hes not got any thing wrong with him and they cant find enough evidence, and many many frustrating meetings and specialist visits and a angry phone call to head of casbat and he gets a full diagnosis of Aspergers.
GREAT!! (this diagnosis was last november, baring in mind i had to put down what middle school i wanted him to go to in january,i only put down for a local mainstream autistic base school) now he can go to a specialist autistic school and get the needed help (as i was told he would stand a good chance of gettin in to a MAB with a statement and diagnosis ) as both his mainstream school and the middle main stream school he would of been goin to both agree he will not cope and strongly sugest he has special need schooling.
NOPE! hes been denyed several times now after continually appealing with the special placement board saying he can cope in mainstream (even though hes in mainstream and they have said absolutely no way can he cope) and i cant appeal again decision is final..

by the way,H has soiling issues also and this was a big factor in the middle school sayin its above and beyond their duty and he needs special help..hes on dla and im his carer.

time is running out, hes due to start bigger school in September,he leaves junior in july,he cant cope in the mainstream school hes been at for the past 8 years! the sen at both this current school and the sen from the middle school hes down for have both said he cant and wont cope and their resources will be stretched.they back me when i say i need him to go to a smaller environment with specialised teachers..

i cant drive and its quite a walk to this middle school,H hates walkin so theres the first hurdle before hes even gotten to school,bad temper and hours to calm him down to begin with.
i was pressured to give a mainstream school name when he was first denied a place at the MAB so that H could get into the system so i could fight the decision . but now there using that against me sayin i put his name down so i must expect him to go there.

ive been told on the quiet (ive built a strong bond with Hs TA and his schools sen) that apparently the lady that keeps denying us placement said "when mum backs down" H will go to the mainstream i put down for!!
im never backing down even if i dont take him to school untill a place is made for him at a autistic base school...im at my wits end,i cant sleep,im depressed,its been 8 years of battling for my son, i dont know what else there is for me to do,as this last decision was my final appeal and i was told there isnt any thing more i can do untill he fails at the middle school then i have to start a new apeal...sigh.
ive been in touch with parent partnership and nothing really was a fantastic out come,ive got sen mediation on the case and im looking into sendist for an appeal..i dont feel that even if i went to my local papers or MP that it will budge the decision made..HELP!

sorry for the ranting essay :(

Ok, deep breath. It sounds like you have been through a hell of a time and I am not surprised you are angry, frustrated and desperate.

What does his Statement say at the moment? What support is he receiving?

If I were you, here is what I would do:

I would write to the SEN/Inclusion Manager at the borough, cc-ing in all professional involved with your son.

1. State your son's needs, quoting form any relevant professional reports that back you up and asking the school he is currently at t provide a brief quote on their opinion (if it backs yours up). I would keep it brief-ish - no more than 2 pages. Really paint a picture of your DS on his worst days.

1. Outline, in your view, why mainstream isn't working for him. Be specific, use examples, and again, paint a picture of your DS on his very worst day.

1. Threaten legal action. Lie. Say you are already seeking legal advice. Say that if your son is not considered for a place at a special school or specialist autistic provision, you will be taking legal action against the local authority. I would also throw in (this was suggested to me today by a SENCo on another thread) that you have looked in to private provision and that, if a local authority place is not provided, you will take a legal case out against the local authority asking for a private special school to be named on his Statement. It would be even better if you actually did seek legal advice - might cost up to £200 for an hour, but some firms will give you 30 mins free initially. This might help you to get a bit of legal jargon in to your letter.

Send a hard copy of the letter (recorded) to the SEN Manager, post copies to everyone else, then send the exact same thing to them all via email (I have found that by googling I can get the organisational chart for my local authority, showing who everyone is in the SEN and Schools teams, with their emails). say you are expecting a swift response, and will call the SEN Manager on X day (give them a week, maybe) to get a response.

Do not back down. Show them you mean business. If you want to post up a draft of your letter, I will help you edit it and I am sure others will, too.

You can also contact IPSEA (see their website or phone them) if you want more specific advice. They have advice on what to do if a local authority won't name the school you want on the Statement.

Good luck.

God, what a nightmare. Your poor Ds being left to fail before something is done.

Sadly you are not alone on this board and there are some people who have been through similar things to you.

Keep bumping your post to the top of the page and i am sure someone will come along to help you.

We have experienced a bad school but nothing like your story and we managed to escape.

Good luck

Sorry lovely, cross posted with you

Sorry you are going through this. You've made me feel really worried now though. We recently moved to an area where there are middle schools and we are going through casbat to try to get a dx for AS/ASD. My ds's Middle school clearly don't want him and are trying to permanently exclude now - hope it's not the one you are expected to send ds to!

the system stinks, this happened to my dd when she was 11,now(18)....she had to go to ms school, they had to px her so she could go to sn school, they had said before she started they couldn't meet her needs, nobody would listen.