And the floodgates opened!(vent and self pity)

[RinkyDinkyDoo]

Ds had a bad afternoon on Sunday-very self directed and anything he didn't want to do caused lots of screaming. He wouldn't do anything with my parents(normally does) and he wanted me and me only, which made a mockery of giving me a break,which was the intention- very tired and frustrated me.
Yesterday after school was pretty much the same and a horrible hour before bedtime-he was fine once in bed and wanted stories,which calmed him-very tired and frustrated me.
Went to work today and the guy I work with,lovely chap, mentioned i looked fed up,I didn't mention DS,just said i was tired. He thought I meant work was making me tired(it is at the moment),but i should look on the bright side-lovely DS,DH with great job and how i should put work pressures aside and just think of my happy homelife- cue wibbling lip from me.
He looked shocked,and bless him asked if there was anything he could do to help-well that was it-the tears began to flow and have pretty much not stopped all day.
Tears for DS,tears for self pity,tears for fucking autism,tears for frustration, tears for anger,tears because some people just don't understand.
Tomorrow I will wake up and it will be fine, but some days it just fucking hurts.
Thank you for listening.x

It doesn't do any harm to let people see the load you are carrying and will continue to carry. Lovely chap has just had a reality check from you and may appreciate you even more when you do an excellent job against the odds.
I've lost the plot a couple of times as well.

I don't fall apart often but on valentines night I woke up sobbing in my sleep at 3am and continued to howl uncontrollably until half past 6am.

Poor DH didn't know what he must have done wrong!

oh dear its one of those days. You are allowed them you know its called being human and lifting the steam lid off for a bit. :)

The chap you work with sounds lovely. Use it and tell him a nice mug of hot tea on your desk each morning will put it all to rights oh and a doughnut will put a smile on your face

Be kind to yourself and yes it does hurt and some days are unbearable then the little imps do something terrific another day to make the sun shine again for you :)

Thank you for the lovely comments.:) It has happened before,it will happen again,but usually not out in the open. Yes, I am human from time time.I'll remember that:)

Sorry, but there is no donut icon so you will definitely have to get your workmate to do his bit.

Hey, send him on the residential and have some 'me' time.

:) at EllenJane, DH actually said send him for 2 weeks.Irony hasn't been lost on me that it came on the day of my 'meltdown'.x