Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Popping to the shop equals "running the gauntlet"

39 replies

Triggles · 13/05/2012 14:26

Honestly, you'd think I'd know better. We took a quick jaunt to Asda to pick up a few things for tonight's tea. DS2 was in his Mac Major, as he was quite distressed about going but didn't want to stay home either (DH offered to stay home with DS2 if he wanted). Hmm DS3 (2yo) is along, and walks through store on his reins (he is at that "I want to walk" stage).

So... all through the store, people turning to look at us, a few whispering and looking at us. Now, admittedly, we were not quiet in the store. DS2 does a fair few loud vocal outbursts. Then DS3 does it, even though he's NT, but he does it because DS2 is doing it and DS3 thinks it's fun and he's 2yo. DH is pushing the trolley, I am pushing DS2, with DS3 walking next to the pushchair, and I spend most of my time trying to keep them close to me, but apart from each other. Hmm

Damn near lost grip and shouted at one pair that was doing the horrified look thing. (figured as I was telling the boys not to shout, though, it was probably not helpful for me to go off screaming at someone Grin)

Do people really have nothing better to do in a supermarket? Aren't they there to shop? FFS go shop then and quit watching us. grrrrrrrr

I'm going to invest in an MP3 player with headphones so when people are commenting and watching, I can do the immature thing and go "la la la la I can't heeeaaaarrrrr you!!!" Grin Or buy tomatoes and throw them.... Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Triggles · 14/05/2012 12:28

Sadly, I like to pick out fresh food (veg, fruit) myself. I'll do an online shop if absolutely necessary. But I really do prefer to go do my own shopping. Just one of my little quirks I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
Triggles · 14/05/2012 12:29

although Grin at the delivery personnel.

OP posts:
Ben10NeverAgain · 14/05/2012 12:31

I still want to see Jesus in the Strawberry van. Grin

SallyBear · 14/05/2012 12:44

Dragon in the Onion Van, certainly had my pulse racing!! GrinGrin

BiddyPop · 14/05/2012 13:01

Triggles, would an online shop every 2-3 weeks for the non-perishables be worth it? So you'd only have to get the fresh stuff when you do shop then, cutting down your length of shopping time and possibly reducing stress? I can well understand wanting to avoid, and also liking doing it oneself. I have been contemplating it again here (although we aren't lucky enough to get Ocado, so I am always mad jealous looking at the options of "who is arriving in what van" thread!! Grin ) - even if I got a "stores" shop once a month and then did the meat, fruit and veg, bread and milk in local shops (butcher, F&V, and smaller convenience store), it would possibly be worth it sometimes. Or maybe heading into SM just for fresh and a little browse rather than a full trolley load and major stressing.

Original poster
Triggles · 14/05/2012 16:25

I think I just need to plan better. Generally I try to do my shopping when DH is home from work, so I don't have both boys - sometimes I skip up and down the supermarket aisles all by myself! Grin

It's when we're overloaded with tons of other worries and appointments and such that I get less organised about shopping, and THAT's when I end up struggling with both boys. So I think the key is better organisation, really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Triggles · 14/05/2012 16:25

Although I might consider Ocado if the delivery guy is all you say he is.... Grin

OP posts:
SallyBear · 14/05/2012 16:49

It's worth doing online food shop. If you have an iPhone, you can get apps for most of the supermarkets who deliver. I think that anything that gives you breathing space is worth it. Besides, it saves you money as you keep a better eye on your expenditure while you're shopping. Give your self a months trial. Most of them will give you a newbies discount. Grin and yes some of the Ocado drivers are hot. Same can't be said for Asda, Tesco et al. Wink

ouryve · 14/05/2012 23:01

We've taken to division of labour. DH gets the boys and takes them to look at things they're interested in - there's an ASDA Home, a Smyths and a poundland in the same retail park as our Sainsbobs, so any of them can kill a few minutes. I have the trolley and that is my responsibility. DS1 likes to grab a basket and go around and fill it with things that he likes (snacks, his choice of breakfast cereal etc). We also allow him to indulge his need to straighten out a shelves, which often involves picking up a packet of crumpets fro the cereal aisle and taking it back to the bread aisle, or something.

About 1 in 5 trips still ends in a screaming fit, though.

Meantime, DS2 squeals randomly and scares old ladies :o

We don't actually get a lot of reaction from people. If we do, we're usually too absorbed in getting the shopping in and keeping the kids' interested to notice it. I have had a shop assistant come and join me on the floor when DS1 had one of his meltdowns. Turned out she had a son of her own with ASD and had BTDT.

fatcaaah · 14/05/2012 23:09

I do most of mine online but like you triggles it's when everything is manic at home I end up in the supermarket.

Even when doing it online I need the top up shopping locally and I dread it, though not so much caring about others, it's just a dreadful challenge. My nt 2yo also 'feeds off' ds3's behaviour and copies him and is also at the wanting to walk everywhere. Although she has to with ds in his maclaren and me with the basket.

There's been many a shopping basket abandoned with us leaving with me close to tears. And beans on toast for dinner again.

The upside is I don't often see other peoples reactions as I'm trying to keep it together.

It's shit.

Original poster
Triggles · 15/05/2012 09:55

fatcaah - yikes - your situation sounds exactly like mine - 5yo DS in Mac Major, 2yo on reins wanting to walk this way and that. 2yo and 5yo just winding each other up throughout the shop. Trying to push Mac Major, hold on to 2yo's reins, and carry basket at same time... not a fun activity!! Hmm

OP posts:
fatcaaah · 15/05/2012 19:18

Reins? Oh no she won't tolerate reins!

They're lovely on their own, but hideous together. I guess my two are developmentally too close in age, actually the 2yo probably exceeds her brother which is hard for them both.

used2bthin · 15/05/2012 19:54

I can really relate to all this! DD was the noisy child at the doctors today and I was torn between being mortified and proud of her for being confident enough to "talk" to strangers. She was chatting with an old man but then she quickly lost the plot and started rolling on the floor, jumping, spinning and doing her pysio excercises. She also was making the usual sqwawky noises and trying to keep using the bloody water machine-hate those things!

A little girl then came in with her mum (same uniform as DD's but I didn't recognise them) DD was desperate to talk to the girl but couldn't make herself understood and the girl looked scared Sad but also like she was trying not to laugh. It has made me worry about other children's reactions to dd at school tbh but best not to get ahead of myself!

On the plus side I decided to follow the ed psych's advice after (and after a noisy wild trip to the park) and go to the shop to buy very little, I gave dd a list of three things we needed then she got to choose a treat if she stayed near me. It sort of worked.

Original poster
Triggles · 15/05/2012 20:18

fatcaaah - we've seen that with DS3 as well. Even though he's 2yo (almost 3), we've noticed him going through stages already that DS2 didn't go through until 4yo or 5yo, and he's actually bypassing DS2 in some things. makes me Sad sometimes.

and yes, lovely on their own, but can be hideous together. Bedtimes are particularly loud and stressful.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page