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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Home tutor starting Monday - any tips?

15 replies

starfish71 · 12/05/2012 23:17

After the first session with DS1's pupil support officer last Tuesday, we were phoned yesterday and told he has been allocated a tutor who will be coming Monday at 8.45.

I have prepared a timetable which I am going to put in his room tomorrow just basically showing the morning routine, but as DS couldn't even come out of his room for the support officer I really have no idea how this is going to go.

My mum has told me I should tell DS that unless he comes downstairs and sees tutor that I should take away his laptop ( only thing DS does is computer based, programming etc,)

Now I know his computer addiction needs tackling but I am trying to pick my battles and being as his anexity is sky high I am not sure this is right approach..

Any advice? I am really worn down this week and just feel as if everyone thinks I am not tackling this right.

DS2 who had a fun afternoon, apart from his flying insect fear, slightly grumpy grampa and frustration because I couldn't find the right transformers game turned to me before bed saying " I've had a heck of a day you know" it's never dull with my boys.

Have had a ramble, due to the wine I think! But any thoughts on how to approach Monday gratefully received.

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Original poster

starfish71 · 13/05/2012 10:27

Bump

OP posts:

devientenigma · 13/05/2012 10:38

no tips star I just tidy the house as much as possible, have DS downstairs for him coming, easier for me as my house is gated certain areas iyswim. Then I think it all depends on the tutor.

Original poster

starfish71 · 13/05/2012 10:47

Thanks devient, am trying to just try my best to get DS downstairs in morning.

Is your tutor good with your DS?

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devientenigma · 13/05/2012 10:56

Yeah mine wouldn't come out of his room but we make sure he's down before DH goes to work. Then he is locked from getting upstairs which makes it easier for me. DS doesn't work with tutor much, the tutor's ok with him at times but then hasn't a clue how to accept DS at times. However I have heard of great tutors on here.............just wished ours was one. The tutor isn't special needs trained at all but has worked in a private autistic school for years. I feel out tutor is torn by the conflict around DS and at times has been lost in some of the stuff DS has portrayed. He's been in over a year.

Original poster

starfish71 · 13/05/2012 11:10

Good idea, will try and get him downstairs before DH leaves for work. I have no idea if tutor has any training in teaching children with ASD, will have to wait and see I suppose. DS is very complex so just hope she is able to connect with him, if he takes a dislike to someone that's it!

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devientenigma · 13/05/2012 11:16

yeah my DS is challenging and complex lol, he has attacked the tutor a few times, however due to my DS issues most times he doesn't do the allocated hour and has been known to stay 10 mins.

pinkorkid · 13/05/2012 11:29

Good idea to get him downstairs in advance if you can. You know your ds best so trust your own instincts even though I'm sure your mum means well. Have to say, threats of removing access to computer stuff would not be my opening gambit if you are trying to get him past his anxiety. Certainly in my ds case more likely to lead to resentment or meltdown unless explained at length logical reasons why this should happen.

Maybe his interest in IT could be a way in with the tutor looking at some computer based learning with him whether maths games or researching a favorite topic?

Don't worry too much if things don't go to plan first few visits, your ds needs time to adjust to a new situation. Hopefully support worker will have fed back about ds' levels of anxiety to the tutor so s/he knows what to expect. Hope you get someone on the ball and that ds takes to them. Let us know how you get on.

devientenigma · 13/05/2012 12:01

yes defo do the ICT interest to get the ball rolling. The unfortunate position for us is DS is massively passive and severely unmotivated.

lindy20 · 13/05/2012 12:04

Hi My son who has aspergers had a tutor supplied by school he is 13 it took a while to get used to her but was ok after a few months ....sometimes he wouldnt come down had meltdowns ......it helped that she was really nice and good with him.....

lindy20 · 13/05/2012 12:05

Forgot to say his obsession was the computer since he was in nappies .....

NoHaudinMaWheest · 13/05/2012 12:06

I am not sure how helpful our experience will be to you, but I'll post it for what its worth. My DS (HFA/OCD) needed a home tutor in yr 5 as his school or rather his HT decided that she didn't want to cope with him in school. I was concerned that his anxieties would mean that he wouldn't come into the room with them, that he wouldn't stay if he did, and that he wouldn't engage if he stayed. However, it went really well. Two tutors job-shared. They had very different personalities and used different strategies to engage DS. They were also accommodating of his OCD worries which allowed him to make use of the education they provided. Neither of them had much experience of ASDs and none of OCD but they were used to dealing with all sorts of children. Ds is quite academic but the school experience was traumatic for him and I was afraid he would never engage in education again. However he really blossomed in their care. They identified and took seriously his dyslexia which school had been brushing off for years and actually got him reading real books for fun! I think that they were one of the main reasons that Ds was able to return to MS education where he is now doing GCSEs in a very supportive school. I do think the quality of the tutors is the crucial factor.
HTH

lindy20 · 13/05/2012 12:08

Our tutor didnt have training in ASD...i used to give her books tony attwood etc....and she would read up on it......she gradually got to know how his brain worked and noticed he hada logical mind.......

devientenigma · 13/05/2012 12:12

again though like school, they are accommodating the actual dx not the symptoms or at least in our case they are.

Original poster

starfish71 · 13/05/2012 14:27

Wow thank you all for all the advice!

Thanks devient and pink will definitely tell the tutor about his all consuming love of computers and hope that will be a good place to start.

lindy DS came to life at 3 years old when we were given a second hand computer! Hope we are lucky with our tutor.

*nohaudin

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Original poster

starfish71 · 13/05/2012 14:33

Oops posted too soon!

nohaundinmawhesst thank you for sharing your experience, really sounds you had a very positive experience! Really good to know there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

DS hasn't been out of his room yet today so bracing myself for getting him to have a shower!

Really helping having all your support, thank you.

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