HELP ME!!!!! 2 ds's with sensory issues winding each other up

[LargeLatte]

This has been going on for days. They normally love to play together but every now and then we get stuck in this rut.

Ds1 is nearly 7 and (I suspect) is sensory defensive.

DS2 is 5 and is sensory seeking.

DS2 is really escalating the sensory seeking with fidgeting, face pulling, shrieking.

DS1 cannot bear this at all so makes snide comments, eventually punches, and is now, I feel, relentlessly bullying DS2 by saying negative things about him every coupld of minutes.

....which in turn makes ds2 indulge in more sensory seeking behaviour.

Besides keeping them apart and opening a bottle of wine (my coping mechanism for today) is there anything else I can do.

Or shall I just stick with separation. This isn't something that permanently colours their relationship, just every now and then, especially if one is stressed. Sometimes ds1 flicks a switch and goes on a sensory-seeking spree -then watching the two of them together is priceless. Like a couple of years ago when one put a toy motorized drill on his head and realized it vibrated, so the other ds got the other toy drill and did the same, and they just stood grinning like loons, shrieking 'I like it' for pretty much the rest of the day. Not the sort of memory most families have, but its a happy one for us.

PS Help is on its way - appointments in June, cannot come quick enough.

Oooh you should've called 'SNAP'.

Here, have a glass .

I think divide and conquer is the best route

DS is a wind up artist for DD (NT)

DS is fidgety, talks non stop and when overloaded can be a nightmare for DD who at the age of 11 is turning into the I dont tolerate fools gladly sort of stroppy teen lol.

The only way I can deal with it is to separate them and then it removes the target and the victim to calm down. DS needs wind down time and if the red flag (dd) is still there it just wont happen. I just have a list of jobs handy and delegate lol

I will shout SNAP!

Didn't post last night as was dealing with 2 of mine. The wine came out early last night!

largelatte SNAP!

Seriously though, divide is my solution too.
Totally get zzzzz "provide a common enemy" - and yes, it is usually me - Its amazing how they can combine forces when they have/want to.

a good idea too - maybe a little early at the moment

Nice to know I am not alone.

The plan for after school is to separate them (one upstairs one down) BEFORE the trouble even starts - as soon as they walk through the door. Ds1 knows the score and that this is not a punishment, it is to give him a break. Then reunite for dinner, and playful attacking of dh when he gets home from work (when I will open the wine).

The key to the success of this plan will be that they do not start attempting to play together until I have poured a glass of wine.

I'll also shout SNAP!!

I'm so weary of it all :( You are most definitely not on your own!

Snap! I have just had the realisation that I have got the dates for DS1's school trip to France wrong and that he will be coming on holiday with us after all and we will therefore have to endure a long journey with him alternately sensory seeking and over-reacting to every twitch and sniff made by his brothers. Sigh.

It's a shame you can't get some sort of sound proof wall put in the car to divide the kids up - like in cabs. Or a sound proof box for use in car and home..... Off to go and sketch out the blueprints.

I use pretty much the same tactics as you, but stick with chocolate before wine o'clock

My two also fight over how cars should be lined up, where things should be put, me....